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> APRIL 2009 April 30, 2009 - Dodgers 8, Padres 5
Weaver ended up going four scoreless innings—a huge lift for a depleted pen—only to watch Will Ohman hand the Padres two runs in the seventh. The Dodgers immediately fought back, though, using three singles and a Padres’ error to regain the lead. Adding two more in the bottom of the eighth, the Dodgers came away with an 8-3 win. Now the questions turn to James McDonald. Do the Dodgers keep waiting for him to throw strikes? Can he return to the pen and be successful? Do they replace him with Weaver? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison? Here are the answers, in no particular order: Yes, yes, no, and yes. April 28, 2009 - Dodgers 5, Giants 3
Doubles by Manny Ramirez and Andre Ethier (another great Ethier at-bat) gave the Dodgers the lead again in the top of the ninth, and a triple from Matt Kemp tacked on an insurance run. Will Ohman pitched a 1-2-3 ninth for the save, and Broxton came away with the win (to go with his blown save). With nine hits, nine walks, and two San Francisco errors, the Dodgers really should have put the game away long before the ninth inning, but Torre isn’t complaining. I am, though—he manages his pitching staff like they’re a crew of Caltrans workers who pick up trash on the side of the freeway. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but if you see a guy on the side of the 405 who resembles Ronald Belisario, it’s probably Ronald Belisario. April 26, 2009 - Rockies 9 , Dodgers 4
The Dodgers’ biggest problem wasn’t their offense, though—it was Clayton Kershaw. True, he wasn’t exactly throwing in a pitcher-friendly ballpark, but there isn’t a stadium in baseball that would have made him look good on Sunday. Kershaw lasted only four and two-thirds, giving up nine runs on eight hits. The big blow came in the fifth inning after Kershaw turned things over to Scott Elbert with the bases loaded and two outs. Jeff Baker—hitting a steamy .105—drove one to center, where Matt Kemp was chilling. By the time Kemp realized it wasn’t just a little pop fly, it was too late, and the Rockies were up by nine. Even with Juan Castro in the lineup, the deficit proved insurmountable for the Dodgers. Oh well, at least they’ve yet to contract the swine flu. April 22, 2009 - Astros 5, Dodgers 4
Ronald Belisario, of course, rose from obscurity this spring and made the Dodger roster. Any time he wants to return to obscurity, I’d be more than happy to help him find his way. Belisario entered the series with a 1.06 ERA, which I suppose is pretty good, except for the fact that I hate him. I don’t trust him, I don’t like watching him, and I don’t think he belongs in a Dodger uniform. He gave up a run on Tuesday night, and then Wednesday… Jesus Christ. (By the way, Microsoft Word just capitalized that automatically—believe me I wouldn’t have done it on my own). Anyway, after getting Miguel Tejada to line out to start the eighth, Belisario have up a bomb to Fatty Berkman, trying the game at five. Hunter Pence then doubled, so to set up the force play, the Dodgers decided to issue an intentional walk to pinch-hitter Geoff Blum. Simple enough. Or is it? Apparently afraid that Blum would reach out and hit the ball with his twelve-foot arms, Belisario sailed the second pitch off the outstretched glove of Russell Martin and to the backstop. Pence moved up to third and—after finally completing the walk to Blum—Belisario surrendered a run-scoring single to Ivan Rodriguez. At least he made a valiant attempt to field the ball. Oh, wait, that’s right—he made no attempt to field the ball. So let’s summarize:
April 21, 2009 - Astros 8, Dodgers 5
On the heels of eight consecutive wins (six at home), the game started out well for the Dodgers. They scored three runs in the first, and with Russ Ortiz on the mound, it looked like win number nine was in the bag. If only the bag didn’t have eight innings left (whatever that means). The Astros immediately got back in the game—and then took over the game—while the Dodgers shut down. They stranded Matt Kemp at third base in the 4th inning, saw Guillermo Mota issue a bases loaded walk in the 6th, and then after getting closer in the seventh, wasted a leadoff hit in the 8th inning. If there was any doubt that these were the Dodgers you’ve been used to the last few years, I give you the ninth inning. Rafael Furcal reaches base on an error. Orlando Hudson reaches base on a ball deflected off the pitcher’s ankle. Manny Ramirez walks to the plate representing the tying run. And the son of a bitch flies out. Andre Ethier walks, putting the tying run on base with one out. Ninth inning comeback? No. James Loney and Russell Martin strike out, and the dream of a 159-3 season is dead. April 18, 2009 - Dodgers 9, Rockies 5
Three hours later, though, the Dodgers had knocked off the Rockies, 9-5, and kept their record at home a perfect 5-0. Manny Ramirez put an end to his home run drought, hitting his first and second of the year—and dropping a routine fly ball. Andre Ethier—batting ahead of Manny for the day—hit two homers of his own, driving in four. Even Juan Castro muscled up (at least as much as Juan Castro can), hitting a fly ball to the warning track with the bases loaded in the bottom of the seventh. Chad Billingsley pitched a good five innings before running into trouble in the sixth and giving up three. The Dodger bullpen—now without Cory Wade, who was placed on the DL Saturday—was typically unconvincing. A day after Jonathan Broxton had to enter in the eighth inning to bail out a struggling Hong-Chih Kuo, a foursome of Dodger relievers somehow managed to get through the final three innings. Guillermo Mota, Will Ohman, Ramon Troncoso, and R Belisario (whose first name totally escapes me right now and I’m not going to waste two seconds of my life looking it up) combined to give up three hits and three walks—and miraculously only two runs. So the Dodgers are now a healthy 9-3, and can win their eighth in a row on Sunday to equal their longest of last season. If for no other reason than to piss off Jim Tracy (now a bench coach in Colorado), hopefully they sweep. April 15, 2009 - Dodgers 5, Giants 4
Going into the top of the eighth, the Dodgers led 2-1, with the only Giants run coming on a Bengie Molina home run—the only hit Clayton Kershaw allowed. The kid was brilliant, striking out #42 for the Giants thirteen times. Pulled after 105 pitches (understandably at this point in the season), the Dodger bullpen immediately took it in the behind. When Hong-Chih Kuo’s final warmup pitch of the eighth inning sailed to the backstop, you kind of knew which Kuo was on the mound tonight (Kuo Blow, not Kuo Woah). Sure enough, a walk and hit later, Kuo was out and Ronald Bet-Torre’s-Sorry-O took the mound… and Aaron Rowand took him deep to give the Giants a 4-2 lead. Kershaw pitches seven beautiful innings, and in a matter of three batters, the bullpen implodes. Typically you figure the Dodgers are done after something like that, but then you think, "Wait a second… there’s no Luis Maza in the lineup… there’s no Angel Berroa… hmmm… maybe they’re actually capable." (Don’t get me wrong, personally I didn’t think they were capable, but I figure someone probably did.) Turns out someone was right. The Dodgers tied it in the bottom of the eighth thanks to clutch hitting all around, and then won it in the bottom of the ninth thanks to the uber-dramatic walk-off walk. Sure, not the most exciting way to end, but when you realize it means total embarrassment for the Giants, you gladly take it… and then laugh in the face of the closest San Francisco fan (even if it's a young girl or a senior citizen in a wheelchair). April 13, 2009 - Dodgers 11, Giants 1
The day started with Dodgers emerging from the stands, a B-2 Bomber overhead, the national anthem sung by Charisse Pempengco (as Vin Scully explains, "A 16-year-old Filipina and what a gift from God she is," eventually clarifying that he was referring to her voice), the release of doves (secretly trained to shit on Jamie McCourt), a ceremonial first pitch from Vinny, and a record-breaking crowd of 57,099. And the day even got better once the game started. By the sixth inning, Orlando Hudson had done the one thing no Dodger had since 1970: hit for the cycle. It started with an infield single in the first inning, then a third inning solo homer, then a double in the fifth, and finally sliding headfirst into third with a triple in the sixth. Wes Parker, proud owner of the Dodgers' last cycle—a cheap one that needed ten innings—issued a statement after the game congratulating Hudson. "Frankly, Randy Johnson should have fielded that first inning dribbler," said Parker, "so Hudson’s cycle is as cheap as mine." Ok, so that’s not what he said, but you know the dude can’t be happy now that his name will be mentioned as often as Stan Javier’s—which is to say never. Meanwhile, Dodger fans got to see Chad Billingsley pitch one of the strongest games of his career (7 IP, 11 K, 0 BB, a great bunt) and the offense bust out with sixteen hits—including two Andre Ethier home runs. And the cherry on top: it was a victory over the Giants. Of course, everything got brought down a notch when the Dodgers reluctantly announced after the game that someone had been stabbed in the lot. Sadly, it offered a reminder to the 57,099 fans (or at least 57,098 of the classiest ones): the game may have felt like Heaven, but we’re still in L.A. April 12, 2009 - Dodgers 3, Diamondbacks 1
With runners on second and third and one out in the second inning on Sunday, Randy Wolf lined one back to Danny Haren, who caught it on the fly. Haren fired back to second base to double up Juan Pierre—but second baseman Felipe Lopez crossed over the base to tag Pierre. In the time it took him to do that, Andre Ethier—running from third base on contact—had crossed home plate. With the double play ending the inning, the Diamondbacks left the field—and no one in the stadium paid much attention to Ethier. That is, except Dodgers bench coach Bob Schaefer, who must study the rule book like Rainman. Schaefer quickly schooled Joe Torre, and Torre sold the umpire crew. The run counted, it was ultimately ruled, despite Ethier not tagging up on the line drive. It took me a good half hour to really understand what happened, and even now, I’m not sure I fully do. But I guess the essence of it is this: Ethier scored before the last out of the inning was recorded, and even though he didn’t tag up, the Diamondbacks failed to appeal Ethier leaving third early before they left the playing field—and apparently a team can’t retroactively appeal a play. I wonder if I can retroactively choose an easier sport to follow. Here’s something much simpler to understand: Randy Wolf pitched 7+ innings, struck out five, and gave up only two hits and a run. At one point, Wolf retired sixteen straight Arizona batters. Hong-Chih Kuo pitched a scoreless eighth (wiggling out of trouble), and Jonathan Broxton pitched a scoreless ninth (with the help of Matt Kemp’s running catch) to notch his third save. Wolf gets the victory, although we all know it should go to Bob Schaefer (who right now is searching the rulebook to see how a coach can be credited with a win). April 11, 2009 - Dodgers 11, Diamondbacks 2
More importantly, though, Eric Stults took the Dodgers into the sixth inning—giving the bullpen almost two whole hours off. Stults walked two, struck out five, and allowed just one run. Capping the fun was Juan Pierre, who got to show off his arm on a 9th inning sacrifice fly to short left. If home plate was about twenty feet outside the baseline and about halfway between the backstop and the third base coaching box, Pierre might just have nailed Mark Reynolds. April 10, 2009 - Diamondbacks 9, Dodgers 4
The pitching staff ruined what would have otherwise been a great birthday trip home for Andre Eth—oh, wait, that’s right… Ethier ruined it for himself by going 0-for-4 and grounding into a double play. Can we just switch Ethier and Manny in the lineup and forget that these last four days ever happened? But not to worry: Eric Stults is joining the team. Stults, who excites me about as much as a 250-pound mother of four, will take the spot of Hiroki Kuroda. After experiencing muscle tightness in his ribcage on Wednesday and again Friday, Kuroda was placed on the disabled list. Not good news for the Dodgers, but definitely good news for Kuroda’s interpreter, who gets a two-week vacation. April 9, 2009 - Padres 4, Dodgers 3
Blake DeWitt filled in for Rafael Furcal at shortstop and as the leadoff man. He went 0-for-4. Furcal entered the game as a pinch-hitter in the eighth inning. He made a throwing error in the bottom of the inning. Clayton Kershaw struck out six in five innings. He also walked four. Manny Ramirez was healthy enough to start his fourth straight game. He went 0-for-3 to lower his average to .214. Casey Blake anchored the bottom of the lineup again. He struck out three times. Will Ohman got an out in the top of the eighth. He then gave up a bomb to Adrian Gonzalez. Cory Wade came in to close out the inning with the Dodgers still ahead. He immediately gave up a single, double, and triple (not in that order). Orlando Hudson tripled to lead off the top of the ninth. He then watched helplessly as Russell Martin (who single-handedly left nine guys on base) grounded into a game-ending double-play. So a couple of quick thoughts before I get sick to my stomach again about Nick Adenhart. First, the supposedly powerful Dodgers’ offense managed just 3.5 runs a game against the supposedly horrendous Padres this week. (That’s an embarrassment.) Second, they’ve started out the season with a lousy record of 2-2. (If I hear anyone on the team say there’s a long way to go in the season, I’m going to scream.) And third, is it possible that Russell Martin peaked at age 24? (Gee, couldn’t have anything to do with the 1,300 games he catches every year.) April 7, 2009 - Padres 4, Dodgers 2
That’s right, folks, Jerry Hariston had a hard-on, and Vinny wasn’t afraid to call it. Ok, fine, so maybe he confused "bonehead" with "blunder"—but what a thrill! Now we get the greatest broadcaster of all time fused with an 83-year-old Harry Caray. Pure entertainment. And let’s be honest—if a guy has an erection on the field, the fans have a right to know. (For the record, the actual definition of ‘boner’ is a foolish and obvious blunder; stupid mistake… but Vinny knows better than to say that when third graders like us are listening.) Regarding the game (as if it matters), the Dodgers blew a lead and lost to San Diego, 4-2. From what I gather, the Dodgers had a golden opportunity in the seventh, but Orlando Hudson (.143) and Manny Ramirez (.143) let two walks go to waste. Randy Wolf’s official return to the Dodgers was unspectacular to say the least, as he went five and a third, walking three and yielding four runs. The good news is that Doug Mientkiewicz struck out again, so at this rate we’ll only have to spell his name for a few more weeks. April 6, 2009 - Dodgers 4, Padres 1
The Dodgers started out strong, with Rafael Furcal and Orlando Hudson getting base hits in the first inning. After Manny Ramirez and Andre Ethier each hit lazy fly balls, though, it looked like the Dodgers would start the season with a whimper. A double steal, walk, and a James Loney bases loaded single later, though, the Dodgers were ahead, 2-0. The Dodgers later added two more runs, with three of their four coming with two outs (a good sign, I suppose, if you’re inclined to look for such things.. although they also struck out 11 times). Hiroki Kuroda yielded a run in the first inning, but settled in after that until he hit the wall in the sixth. Cory Wade—making the first appearance of many en route to September arm trouble—bailed out Kuroda and pitched a scoreless seventh. After a shaky inning from Hong-Chih Kuo (which would have been shakier had it not been for a Matt Kemp diving catch), Jonathan Broxton came in throwing BB’s to shut the mighty Padres down—Chase Headley, Drew Macias, and Luis Rodriguez being oh-so-formidable. I must say, it’s fun to watch a Dodger lineup that doesn’t have any weak links… well, other than Manny, who went 0-for-3 with a strikeout. April 5, 2009
As for the rest of the roster, it’s still somewhat up in the air. The Dodgers submitted a 24-man roster (yes, 24-man) to MLB on Sunday, but it includes a couple of guys who are headed to the DL: Delwyn Young and Claudio Vargas. It also includes Blake DeWitt, which likely means Juan Castro is being sent to the minors. Before it’s said and done, Doug Mientkiewicz and Will Ohman figure to be added to the roster, and the Dodgers will probably add another reliever. Oh, the anxiety. Tomorrow being Opening Day and all, I suppose I should make some predictions. That seems to be what people do this time of year. Here goes… Dodger predictions by date: April 7: With the Dodgers winning 4-3 in the 9th, Joe Torre brings in Takashi Saito—only to be told by Rick Honeycutt that Saito is no longer a Dodger. April 13: Jason Schmidt is transferred from the 15-day DL to the Lifetime DL. "Just get the fuck out of here already," says trainer Stan Conte. April 20: Blake DeWitt sets a major league record by getting recalled for the eleventh time this month. April 22: Blake Dewitt extends his record by getting demoted during the 6th inning… and then recalled in the 7th. April 28: In an 0-for-72 funk, Casey Blake decides to shave his beard. Upon seeing his father’s face for the first time, Blake’s newborn son projectile vomits banana puree. May 2: Starting in left field for Manny Ramirez, Juan Pierre makes a throw to the plate. May 4: Juan Pierre’s throw reaches the plate. May 7: The Dodgers celebrate James Loney’s birthday with an ice cream cake in the clubhouse. The cake isn’t big enough, though, and Ramon Troncoso is left without a piece. May 18: While Derek Lowe cruises to his 6th win as a member of the Braves, Chad Billingsley beats the Mets for the Dodger rotation’s 6th win—combined. May 24: After a dead child is discovered underneath a 340-pound fan in the Right Field Pavilion, the Dodgers announce they’ll be limiting fans to ten Dodger Dogs per game. June 3: After hitting 11 home runs in a span of three games, Manny Ramirez is named Player of the Month—with 27 days remaining in the month. June 16: Recalled earlier in the week, Tanyon Sturtze is actually recognized at a local restaurant. "Son? Is that you," says his mother at the next table. June 19: In another sign of a still worsening economy, the Dodgers announce that fans will have to bring their own toilet paper to the Stadium. "Besides," explains Jamie McCourt, "You should really only need to poop once a week like me." July 7: Spotting a Mike Piazza statue at Citi Field, Guillermo Mota backpedals all the way to the Dodgers’ hotel. July 11: Puzzled for months, Charlie Steiner finally turns to Rick Monday and asks, "Hey Mo, who’s that other guy in the booth?" Peering over at Eric Collins, Monday replies, "I don’t know, but he does this bizarre thing—he gives the score each inning." July 14: As the Dodgers’ lone representative at the All-Star Game, Mark Loretta homers twice to lead the National League to victory. July 31: Desperate for pitching help, the Dodgers acquire Endy Chavez. "I really thought he was a pitcher," explains Ned Colletti the next day. August 4: Matt Kemp goes on the DL, and Jason Repko is recalled. August 5: Jason Repko goes on the DL after crashing headfirst into the foul pole while trying to catch a napkin that slipped from a fan’s hand. August 20: Upset that Russell Martin’s glove interfered with his swing, Milton Bradley heaves his shoe into the stands, violently thrashes his arms about, and then pees on home plate. Not to be outdone, Jeff Weaver punches Mariano Duncan in the face. August 22: Claudio Vargas is traded to the Marlins for a player to be named later. August 26: The Marlins complete the Claudio Vargas deal by announcing the player to be named later: Claudio Vargas. "You can have him back," says Marlins’ GM Michael Hill. "He’s friggin’ awful." August 30: Sandra Scully files for divorce after Vinny refuses to stop calling her S-Dog. September 9: Making his third start of the year, Brad Ausmus goes 4-for-4 to raise his average to .180. September 20: Alyssa Milano, to be married later in the year, is found with a naked photo of Luis Maza in her wallet. September 28: The Dodgers complete a sweep of the Pittsburgh Pirates—using members of the grounds crew to pitch—and move into first place. October 4: Shut down for the third consecutive game by the Rockies’ All-Star pitching staff, the Dodgers end the season in a tie for first place with the Diamondbacks. October 5: In a one-game playoff with the Diamondbacks, Orlando Hudson gets confused and homers for Arizona. The Dodgers lose 1-0 and are done. See you in 2010. April 3, 2009
Actually, I’ll tell you what really is thrilling: I just discovered the AutoText feature in Microsoft Word. Now all I have to do is type in "mien" and it automatically gives me the option to insert Mientkiewicz’s full, fucked up name. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever discovered! Provided the dude makes the team, it could save me hours—maybe days—over the course of the season. (Now I just have to find a way to remember "mien.") More Microsoft Word tips coming soon. Anyway, the Dodgers knocked off the Angels on Thursday, 6-2—with their actual lineup. It may not seem like a big deal that their actual lineup was in there, but if they can make it through the weekend without any catastrophic injuries (you listening, Furcal?), it’ll be one of the few times in recent memory that the Dodgers start the season fully intact—Mark Loretta’s injury notwithstanding. April 1, 2009
As for April Fool’s Day, I contemplated running a couple different phony stories, but I didn’t want to start your day off by scaring you to death with these headlines:
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With Dodger pitching shaky and practically an entire team of retirees (er… veterans) at Triple-A, it was just a matter of time before Joe Torre and Ned Colletti tapped Albuquerque for help. They did on Thursday, and Jeff Weaver suddenly appeared. Before he even had time to practice his major league scowl, Weaver was taking the mound for the Dodgers—picking up in the second inning where James McDonald left off. Weaver literally picked up where McDonald left off, walking David Eckstein on four pitches to resume a major league career that was derailed two years ago. The walk loaded the bases for Jody Gerut, who lined one into deep left center—where Matt Kemp flagged it down. Kemp’s catch—one of four big ones on the night—kept the Dodgers within two, and a half inning later, back-to-back homers from Orlando Hudson and Manny Ramirez gave the Dodgers a lead.
Who was the happiest guy in the ballpark Tuesday night when the Dodgers rallied to break a 3-3 tie in the top of the ninth? Hopefully Joe Torre, who royally screwed up minutes earlier. With the Dodgers up 3-2 going into the bottom of the eighth, Torre sent Chad Billingsley back out to the mound. Billingsley had a rough time earlier in the game, but had settled down to strike out eight. With strikeouts, though, comes a fairy high pitch count, and Billingsley was at 100. No matter, decides Torre, it’s Billingsley’s game. Fine, I can respect that, but in a one-run game you’d better be ready to pull that son-of-a-bitch the second he looks cooked. Almost immediately, Billingsley looked cooked. He started Pablo Sandoval with two balls, then gave up a sharp single to right-center. With the bullpen ready, Torre sits tight. Billingsley got behind in the count to the next batter as well, but Torre sits tight. Only after Billingsley walked Aaron Rowand does Torre go to the mound—turning to the overworked Jonathan Broxton not just for five outs, but to get out of a tough situation. Broxton can’t do it, and—amidst Beat LA chants and douchebags with orange face paint—the game is tied.
A week ago, Joe Torre rested a third of his regulars, although no one would have known from the final score: Dodgers 9, Rockies 5. Trying for a sweep of the Rockies on Sunday, a cocky Torre tried the B lineup again. Not so good. Juan Castro, in for Rafael Furcal, went 0-for-4. Blake DeWitt, in for Casey Blake, went 0-for-4. Juan Pierre, in for Manny Ramirez, went 0-for-4. (Ok, fine, Pierre actually had two hits, but 0-for-4 sounds better.)
If you hit three home runs in an inning off Roy Oswalt, you’d better find a goddamn way to win the game. The Dodgers didn’t, losing to Houston on Wednesday night, 6-5. Manny Ramirez, Andre Ethier, and Casey Blake each homered in the sixth inning—giving the Dodgers a 4-2 lead against one of the better pitchers in the league. It must have really inspired Randy Wolf, who immediately walked the first hitter in the bottom of the inning. Three batters later, the game was tied. James Loney gave the Dodgers a 5-4 lead with an RBI double in the top of the eighth… which leads to Ronald Belisario.
Tuesday night’s Dodger game was sort of like when your alcoholic brother is clean and sober for a couple months, and you’re really proud of him, and then you show up at his place and find him passed out in the bathtub with an empty bottle of Jack and some dried puke in the corner of his mouth. You’re disappointed, but knew it was just a matter of time. So basically the Dodgers are your brother, the empty bottle of Jack is actually ten guys left on base and shitty pitching, and the puke in the corner of his mouth is the puke all over my shirt from watching James Loney’s at-bat in the ninth inning. The bathtub… I don’t know the symbolism of that. Maybe it represents the object upon which James Loney’s head should be violently slammed for his at-bat in the ninth inning.
You wake up in the morning, and you’re excited. You’re going to your first Dodger game of the season. You know the damage is at least $100, once you add in food and parking, but you’re looking forward to seeing the Dodgers’ potent lineup firsthand. You get to Dodger Stadium early, grab a beer, and settle into your seat to hear the lineups announced. Blake DeWitt, starting. Brad Ausmus, starting. Juan Castro, starting. Oh well, you shrug, at least they finally have a guy who belongs in the 8th hole.
When the Dodgers got two hits and three walks in the bottom of the first inning and only scored one, you had to figure it would come back to bite them in the ass. Seven innings later it did—thanks to the Dodgers’ quality bullpen. 
For Dodger fans who attended Monday's home opener at Dodger Stadium, I have some advice to share: you might as well just kill yourself now, because you're never going to have a better four hours than that. (Not to be insensitive, but maybe the stabbing in the parking lot after the game was self-inflicted?) 
Every so often something happens on the baseball field that surprises even Vin Scully, and we’re reminded of the beauty of baseball. We’re also reminded that baseball is a strange game with often bizarre rules. 
Constipated for the first five games of the season, averaging less than four runs a game, the Dodgers let loose on Saturday night, exploding for eleven. Orlando Hudson hit his first home run as a Dodger and knocked in three, Casey Blake awoke with two hits, and even Andre Ethier—looking more like Andre Previn so far this season—had a two-run double. 
If this was last season, James McDonald’s two perfect innings on Friday night would have more than satisfied the Dodgers. But this isn’t last season, and McDonald isn’t coming out of the bullpen anymore. Friday marked his first major league start, and it was a start with a quick end. McDonald took the mound in the third inning with a 1-0 lead, and left a few minutes later with the game in pieces. He walked three, hit a batter, and gave up a single and home run. The Dodger bullpen wasn’t much better, giving up four more runs over the final five innings.
After a game like Thursday’s, you can look at the positives (like Ronald Belisario pitching two scoreless innings), or you can look at the negatives (like everything else). Since I just exhausted my discussion of the positives, why don’t we turn to everything else?
I have to admit, I didn’t see any of Tuesday night’s game, and I only heard an inning of it on the radio. What I did hear, though, was friggin’ fantastic. If you were listening to Vin Scully in the second inning, I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. With one out and runners on first and second, San Diego shortstop Luis Rodriguez hit a grounder to Orlando Hudson. As Hudson threw to first to get Rodriguez, Scott Hariston rounded third too far and was nailed after a quick rundown. I’ll let Vinny so eloquently explain: "A baserunning boner by Scott Hariston."
The Dodgers’ victory over Jake Peavy to open the season on Monday makes me think of the old expression—Good things come to those who wait. Dodger fans waited for six years, and finally a victory over the Padres’ ace. Of course, it also makes me think of another expression—What in the hell took so long? Sure, Peavy knows how to pitch, but it took six years to score all of four runs off the guy? Maybe the 2009 Dodgers just have the special touch.
God, I wish I could have seen the look on Jeff Weaver’s face when Joe Torre told him Sunday afternoon that he’s headed to Triple-A. Frankly, I don’t care what ultimately happens with the rest of the roster, I’m just glad I don’t have to see that crabby bastard come out of the bullpen. Okay, that’s not true. I mean, it’s true about not wanting to see that crabby bastard come out of the pen. What’s not true is that I don’t care what happens with the rest of the roster. I mean I do care. Jesus, maybe I’ll regain my ability to write a coherent sentence by mid-April… right about the time they recall Weaver from Triple-A. 
Remember when the Freeway Series would last all weekend, command all of Southern California’s attention, and draw 150,000 fans? Yeah, I barely remember those days either. Thursday night’s Freeway "Game" had little resemblance to the Freeway Series of old, but it afforded 31,000 fans—or at least those who didn’t just walk in the gates, grab their free magnet schedule, and immediately leave—a chance to finally see Doug Mientkiewicz in a Dodger uniform. Thrilling. 
Danny Ardoin, who I forgot even existed until the Dodgers cut him from the major league roster on Wednesday, has ten days to either accept the assignment or become a free agent. Who’s the April fool? Probably the Dodgers, who’d have to pay Ardoin $211,000 to play at Triple-A—a huge salary for a minor leaguer. I guess it’s a drop in the bucket for the Dodgers, though, who’ll be paying Andruw Jones about the same amount—each week this season.