|
> AUGUST 2002 August
30, 2002
August
28, 2002
August
26, 2002
August
25, 2002
August
24, 2002
August
22, 2002
August
21, 2002
August
18, 2002
August
17, 2002
August
15, 2002
August
12, 2002
August
11, 2002
August
9, 2002
August
8, 2002
August
6, 2002
August
5, 2002
August
1, 2002
|
Wishing
they were somewhere other than on a baseball field, the Dodgers
began the post-almost-a-strike portion of the season with an 8-4
loss to Houston. Andy Ashby pitched like shit, and Kevin Brown didn't
do much better, allowing three earned runs (including two home runs)
in three innings of relief. Even Jose Vizcaino hit one out off of
Brown—the same Jose-Fucking-Vizcaino who hit a total of 4 home
runs in 3+ seasons with the Dodgers. Vizcaino's eyes opened even
bigger than they usually are when Brown grooved that fastball. Meanwhile,
the Dodgers managed only 5 hits and were lucky to pick up three
runs on a Beltre shot just off the foul pole. With the Dodgers'
wild card lead down to mere games, the team can be thankful of one
thing: Jeff Reboulet is off the disabled list. HELL YEAH!
If
Wednesday's game against the Diamondbacks was the last of the season,
the Dodgers went out in style. Or to be more precise, Odalis Perez
went out in style. Perez pitched eight shutout innings and accounted
for the only run of the game, crushing a ball over the right field
wall in the fifth for his first major league home run. Perez received
a curtain call from the fans, and then continued to take care of
business on the mound. Not much can be said for the rest of the
team, however, which managed only three hits. Eric Gagne, whose
hat is looking forward to a strike, struck out the side in the 9th
and broke Todd Worrell's L.A. Dodger record for saves in a season.
Thank-fuckin'-God that Worrell is out of the goddamn record books.
How he got in there in the first place is a mystery. Also a mystery
is why Chad Kreuter's son walked onto the field with the rest of
the team for the postgame handshakes. Where's Nildamarie Cora??
Alex
Cora was taken off the field in an ambulance, but the rest of the
team should have been removed in a coroner's van. The Dodgers managed
to score an early three runs off a shaky Curt Schilling, but completely
shut down after the sixth, getting only two hits the rest of the
way. Fun game. Cora gets clobbered. Gagne blows a save with two
outs in the 9th. Marquis Grissom strikes out five times. Mike Fetters
hurls two scoreless innings against his former club (the one who
traded him for Terry Mulholland). And Guillermo Mota makes about
95 pitches in two innings, and is eventually tagged with the loss
in the 12th. The loss aside, the Dodgers are fortunate they didn't
lose more. After going 3-for-3 including a home run off of Schilling,
Alex Cora led off the 9th with a walk. He then tried to steal second,
and hurled himself into Tony Womack as if he was wearing a red cape.
Cora's head slammed into Womack's knee, and he lay motionless on
the field until paramedics moved him onto a stretcher about ten
minutes later. Scary moment, but word is that he suffered a mild
concussion and will be OK. But here's the most interesting piece
of news to come out of this: Cora's wife is named Nildamarie. His
concussion can't hurt as bad as that name.
Sometimes,
Kaz Ishii looks like crap for five or six innings. Sunday, he only
looked like crap for one. That's because he didn't make it to the
second. Ishii walked two and gave up four hits in the first inning,
including bombs by Chipper Jones, redneck extreme, and Javy Lopez.
For once Jim Tracy made the smart move, pulling Ishii after the
inning. Tracy's move in the 5th was a bit more confusing, however.
As ESPN announcers Jon Miller and Joe Morgan discussed Tracy, the
camera focused on him in the dugout. Fine. So far, so good. Until
you looked a little bit closer and realized that TRACY WAS HOLDING
JIM COLBURN'S FUCKING HAND!!! And not only holding it, but rubbing
it. What the hell is that? Certainly explains why Tracy sits there
passive on the bench most of the time, seemingly uninterested in
the game. Who wants to bother going to the mound when you're trying
to get in the pitching coach's pants? No goddamn wonder Gary Sheffield
wanted out. 
Ah,
how sweet it is. Gary Sheffield, in his return to Dodger Stadium,
lost Cesar Izturis' fly ball in the sun on Saturday, starting a
7th inning rally that helped the Dodgers beat the Braves 4-3. Izturis
ended up on second, and the Dodgers went on to score twice in the
inning. Sheffield has been hitting like crazy for Atlanta, but how
satisfying that he'd fuck up on a routine fly ball. It's surprising
that he didn't accuse Bob Daly of directing the sun's rays into
right field. Prick.
For
the second day in a row, the Dodgers overcame a late-inning deficit
and beat the Florida Marlins. For the second day in a row, the Dodgers
got clutch hitting. And for the second day in a row—hold on
to your shorts— Paul Shuey wasn't scored upon. Thursday, he
even picked up a save. What's next? O.J. Simpson finds the real
killer? Britney Spears gets caught on video making out with Anna
Kournikova? Time to buy a friggin' lottery ticket because it's either
Dodger fans' lucky day or the earth is incredibly close to spiraling
out of control and crashing into the goddamn sun.
Clutch
hits by Eric Karros and Shawn Green gave the Dodgers a 4-3 victory
over the Marlins on Wednesday, but let's focus on what's important:
Paul Quantrill-Trombley blows. With the score tied 2-2 in the 7th,
starter Omar Daal was taken out for a pinch hitter. Quantrill-Trombley
was brought in to pitch the eighth, and within seconds had walked
the leadoff hitter. Despite a double play, Quantrill-Trombley managed
to get into trouble again, and finally his persistence paid off—with
two outs, he gave up the go-ahead run. Lucky bitch was spared the
loss by some late inning heroics, however. Note to Mike Kinkade:
when you hit the ball over the wall, you don't have to sprint around
the bases. Yeah, most of us know it's something very unfamiliar
to you, but put on an act, man, and pretend like you've done it
before.
Taking
advantage of a Mets team that's gone in the shitter, the Dodgers
completed a sweep on Sunday, edging New York 2-1. Andy Ashby pitched
seven strong innings, allowing just a run on four hits, and the
Dodger bullpen managed to hang on for the final two innings. Eric
Gagne picked up his 43rd save, striking out Mike Piazza and Mo Vaughn
to end the game. The Mets have lost 11 straight games at home, and
made the Dodgers look like a decent team. (Joke's on them.) Not
everything went smoothly for the Dodgers, however, as Eric Karros
was booted by home plate umpire Gary Cederstrom (yesterday's a-hole)
in the 3rd inning. After a called third strike, Karros slowly walked
away from the plate, arguing with Cederstrom until he was kicked
out. It looked as if Karros welcomed the ejection, and even Vinny
mentioned that Karros might have had thoughts of going home early.
Hey, Eric: shave and go to hell.
Odalis
Perez took a perfect game into the 7th inning on Saturday night,
and lost it on an umpire's call. With one out in the 7th, Rey Ordonez
took the count full. He then tried to hold up on a Perez fastball,
but obviously went around. Home plate umpire Brian Onora ruled the
pitch a ball, and on an appeal to first, umpire Gary Cederstrom
ruled that Ordonez didn't go around. It's one thing to lose a perfect
game on a clean base hit, or even a Dave Hansen error, but to lose
it on a goddamn umpire's shitty call is garbage. Ok, he lost the
perfect game... but at least Perez still has the no hitter. No,
wait, Mike Piazza just hit a ball 700 feet. Fucker. Oh well, at
least Paul Shuey still sucks.
Even
when they win, it's obvious the Dodgers want to lose. On Thursday
in Montreal, the Dodgers hung on through a funky 8th and 9th, and
beat the Expos, 1-0. Even though Omar Daal had allowed only four
hits through seven, Jim Tracy pulled a "Jim Tracy", taking
Daal out for a pinch hitter... which meant two things: (1) The Dodgers
were turning to the bullpen, and (2) Jim Tracy is still a total
moron. Paul Quantrill-Trombley wasted no time getting into trouble,
as Jose Vidro greeted him with a shot down the line. (Shocking.)
Quantrill lucked out big time, though, as the ball nailed third
base umpire Tim Timmons, and Vidro was thrown out rounding first.
Not about to be thwarted in his attempt to ruin the game, however,
Quantrill proceeded to give up a double and two walks. Grandpa Orosco
managed to get the final out, and Quantrill was off the hook. The
ninth inning was no prettier. Tyler Houston bobbled a throw to start
the inning, and with two outs Eric Gagne gave up what should have
been a game-tying base hit—but Shawn Green decided to show
some hustle, and threw out Henry Mateo at the plate. Gagne was spared
his second blown save of the series, and for one day at least, luck
was on the Dodgers side. Either that, or Tommy Lasorda is sleeping
with God.
Although
the the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services recently
issued an advisory warning all pitchers to stay the hell away from
Giovanni Carrara, Paul Quantrill-Trombley, and Paul Shuey, it's
apparent that Eric Gagne didn't take the advice. Gagne gave up a
go-ahead two-run home run to Troy O'Leary on his first pitch Tuesday
night, ruining the return to his hometown, and ruining the game
for the Dodgers. It is a sad day indeed, as Eric Gagne has been
infected with the bullpen plague. Andy Ashby worked 7 2/3 strong
innings, and in an attempt to avoid the usual relief debacle, Jim
Tracy went straight to Gagne with two outs in the eighth. But Gagne
grooved a fastball—something batters have come to expect—and
that was that. The Dodgers made a meek attempt to tie the game in
the top of the 9th, but Mike Kinkade struck out with Cesar Izturis
on third.
Dan
Evans has made some bad deals, but acquiring Paul Shuey-Trombley
may eventually rank up there as one of the worst—especially
when Ricardo Rodriguez becomes a star for Cleveland. Shuey-Trombley
has a 10.80 ERA since joining the Dodgers, and let yet ANOTHER game
get away on Sunday. With the score tied 3-3 in the eighth, Jim Tracy
summoned Shuey, and in a matter of minutes, the Phillies were up
6-3. Two Dodger errors didn't help, but let's place the blame on
whom it is deserved: piece of crap Paul Shuey. Wouldn't it just
be easier if the guys in the 'pen didn't even have names on the
back of their uniforms? They're all the same, who gives a shit which
one is brought in. Or make it fun and just give everyone "Mulholland"
uniforms.
The
Dodgers won Friday night in dramatic fashion, but dramatic only
becuase their relief pitching SUCKS ASS. Leading 4-2 in the eighth,
Jim Tracy brought in Paul Quantrill-Trombley to start the inning.
Omar Daal had made only 73 pitches through seven innings, and Tracy
brings in Quantrill-Trombley. You may as well have brought in Ross
Porter to pitch. Six batters later, Paul Shuey-Mulholland gives
up a grand slam to Pat Burrell, and the Dodgers are down 6-4. Mark
Grudzielanek's clutch 3-run homer in the bottom of the inning gave
the Dodgers the eventual win, but we won't let Tracy off the hook
quite so easily. Daal had made 73 pitches. Make no mistake, Daal
generally sucks, but when a guy makes only 73 pitches and looks
in command, YOU LEAVE HIM IN—especially if your bullpen is
weaker than the Pope.
For
the first time in about nine years, Chad Kreuter had a multi-hit
game. His three hits on Thursday night helped the Dodgers to a 10-5
win over the Pirates and should buy him another 2 years on the team.
Adrian Beltre and Shawn Green added 2-run homers, and the Dodgers
regained the Wild Card lead despite a typically mediocre performance
by Kaz Ishii. Dodger relievers didn't do much better, but Paul Shuey-Trombley-Mulholland
and Jesse Orosco both managed to work out of jams. Oh, and Eric
Karros was hitless— shocking.
Energy.
Intensity. Fire. All are words completely foreign to the Dodgers.
Blowing opportunities and leaving ten on base, the Dodgers lost
to the Pirates on Tuesday night, 3-1. Odalis Perez gave up three
solo shots, and the Dodger offense looked as lethargic as ever.
They wasted a huge chance in the second inning after a Grudzielanek
fly ball went off the head of left fielder Brian Giles. Despite
a carom which sent the ball dribbling into right-center, Adrian
Beltre—who was on first—was held at third for some bizarre
reason by Glenn Hoffman. Grudzielanek, not able to see from under
his helmet tucked over his nose, ended up on third along with Beltre.
Instead of second and third and only one out, the Dodgers ran themselves
out of the inning with little league stupidity. A bright spot, however,
came later in the game when Vin Scully openly declared his attraction
to Pirates' centerfielder Adam Hyzdu, saying he had a "good
jaw line." Scully is so goddamn bored with the Dodgers that
he's looking for opposing players to hump. Very sad.
Just
like Darryl Strawberry soliciting a hooker, it should never come
as a shock when the Dodger bullpen chokes. Still, to a true Dodger
fan, there's nothing more frustrating. It happened once again Monday
afternoon, as the Dodgers blew a one-run lead in the 8th inning,
losing to the Rolen-less Phillies, 7-5. Paul Shuey began the fun
by giving up a walk, single, and then a 2-out game-tying hit to
Travis Lee. After another Shuey walk, enter that hellhole of a pitcher,
Giovanni Carrara. Three pitches—and two hit batters later,
the Phillies were up 7-5. It's really too bad Jimmy Rollins didn't
charge the mound and beat the shit out of Carrara. So, the Dodgers
lose two of four from the Phillies and now find themselves 7 games
back. Gee, who would have thunk it.
Dan
Iassogna screwed up. Screwed up big time. Iassogna, the relatively
inexperienced home plate umpire, booted Eric Gagne in the 9th inning
after the Dodger closer beaned Adam Dunn with a pitch. The beaning—
obviously unintentional to everyone in the universe but Iassogna—came
a pitch after Aaron Boone's 2-run homer. Sure, it was a terrible
decision by ump, and the Dodgers can whine all they want about how
unfair the ejection was, but the fact remains: they blew a FOUR
RUN lead in the 9th. Time to worry less about the umpires, and more
about the pieces of shit coming out of the Dodger bullpen. They
were still up by 2 when Gagne was kicked out, but Paul Quantrill-Trombley
and Giovanni Cararra couldn't hold it. Sandwiched in between was
Jesse Orosco, who actually got two outs, but Tracy had to "play
the percentages" like the friggin' retard he is, so Carrara
was brought in to face righty Jason Larue, who of course doubled
to left. Then, two innings later, Omar Daal gave up the game-winning
shot to Griffey. Clutch pitching. Nice job.