|
> AUGUST 2006 August 30, 2006 - Dodgers 7, Reds 3 Dodgers have Reds seeing blue
There were a lot of smiles at Dodger Stadium during the game, especially in the bottom of the eighth when the Dodgers hit three home runs to turn a tight 4-2 ballgame into a 7-2 picnic. Wilson Betemit, Olmedo Saenz, and Rafael Furcal all hit solo shots off of two Cincinnati relievers. Olmedo's home run was a true bomb, landing deep in the left field pavilion. Trying to throw a fastball by Olmedo Saenz, Vin Scully said, "is like trying to throw a lambchop by a wolf." Or, it's like a trying to throw a lambchop by Olmedo Saenz. Or a slice of pizza by Olmedo Saenz. Or a chicken burrito by Olmedo Saenz. Either way, Saenz put a week's worth of hamburgers behind his swing and gave the Dodgers another insurance run. There was one run the Dodgers didn't record on Wednesday. With one out in the 5th inning, J.D. Drew lined one into center that got past Ken Griffey. As Griffey ran the ball down (or jogged the ball down, really), third base coach Rich Donnelly waved Drew around third. Since we don't know that much about Donnelly, we have one question: Is he retarded? Unless an opposing outfielder gets attacked by a heard of buffalo, there ain't no way in hell J.D. Drew gets an inside-the-park home run. Actually, it doesn't even matter who's running. That's just a stupid gamble. Sure, it's exciting if it pays off, but so is breaking into Jessica Alba's house and hopping in bed with her. Doesn't mean it's smart move, though. If Donnelly had kept Drew at third, there'd be one out with Nomar Garciaparra and Andre Ethier coming up. As it was, Garciaparra hit a fly ball that would have easily scored Drew. The way the Dodger pitchers have been blowing leads of late, every run matters. You can't coach third base with your heart. Thankfully for Donnelly, the play was moot as the Dodgers put away the Reds, 7-3. With their fifth win in a row, the Dodgers maintain their three game lead in the West and wait for Colorado to come to town on Friday. If you plan on attending Friday's game, you might want to leave home now so you make it there before the 4th friggin' inning. The fact that the parking lot was full of brake lights at 7:55 on Wedesday is just pathetic. And don't blame the traffic. Blame the fact that you're not smart enough to leave work a half hour early, the fact that you don't know how to drive, and the fact that you're not a true baseball fan. August
27, 2006 -
Dodgers 6, Diamondbacks 3
Offensively, Wilson Betemit had the big blow on Sunday, hitting a 2-run homer in the sixth inning to turn the Dodgers 3-2 edge into a slightly more comfortable 5-2 lead. More impressively, Betemit didn't make any horrific mistakes at third. Betemit's glove and bat have clearly been underwhelming as a Dodger, but he's got a couple fans in the front office, and that's all that really matters. You get the feeling he could go 0-for-50 and he'd still be in there five or six days a week. So the Dodgers leave Arizona having won two of three from the Diamondbacks and sit two games up in the West. Frankly, they've got Craig Counsell to thank. It's not too often that the little rat bastard doesn't single-handedly destroy the Dodgers. In the three games this weekend, Counsell went 1-for-9 with two walks and a stolen base. Now that's the Craig Counsell who played for the Dodgers in '99. (No, we won't forget those 108 crappy at-bats.) August
26, 2006 -
Dodgers 4, Diamondbacks 3
The way things have been going for the Dodgers, the win might be a big one. As opposed to earlier in the season when they'd seemingly alternate wins and losses, the Dodgers have become the streakiest team in baseball since the All-Star break. Losing thirteen out of fourteen... winning sixteen out of seventeen... losing six of eight. It's as tough as ever to be a Dodger fan these days. Just when you've told all your friends that you've had enough, they suck you back in. And just when you're sucked back in, they turn to crap again. It's like leaving your girlfriend after she puts on 80 pounds. Enough is enough, you tell her. Then you see her a couple months later, she's been eating string beans for every meal, looks amazing, and you guys get back together. The next day you see her downing corn dogs. That's bullshit. August
23, 2006 -
Padres 1, Dodgers 0
Maybe they should have molded the dolls to look like Bruce Bochy. After all, it was the Padres manager who tattled on Grady Little, telling the umpires that Little had stepped off the mound and then back on—officially constituting two visits. Officially, Bochy's just an asshole. Worrying about Little taking two steps off the mound to talk to the home plate umpire is like giving someone a ticket for being four inches over the limit line at an intersection. Big fucking deal. Hey Bruce, check it out, we just took the label off our mattress. You gonna turn us in to Larry Miller? Sadly, however, the Dodgers have bigger problems than a couple of ejections. Poor offense, poor defense, and a poor start from Penny contributed to the Dodgers' third loss in a row to the Padres. Three days ago the Dodgers had a comfortable four game lead in the West. Today, the lead stands at one. A Dodger collapse? Nah, you've got to be kidding. August
22, 2006 -
Padres 1, Dodgers 0
On Tuesday, the Dodgers managed just five hits and—typically, it seems—wasted Mark Hendrickson's best start of the year. After doing nothing but suck, he finally steps up and pitches six solid innings... and the Dodgers can't score a single run. The smell of Bruce Bochy's armpits must be like Kryptonite to the Dodgers. They're 3-9 against the Padres this season and over the last few years have lost something like 450 games to their Sea World-loving neighbors down south. Mike Piazza had the big hit on Tuesday, smashing a line drive off of Rafael Furcal's glove in the bottom of the sixth to drive in the only run. Mark your calendar for September 7-10, when more former Dodgers (Shawn Green, Paul Lo Duca, Jose Valentin, Ricky Ledee, and Guillermo Mota) punish their old team. August
20, 2006 -
Dodgers 5, Giants 2
Derek Lowe knocked in the Dodgers third run and then cruised on the mound until the ninth. Jeff Kent made things interesting by watching a double-play ball go through his legs and the Giants loaded the bases with nobody out. Takashi Saito came in to strike out Steve Finley but then walked Barry Bonds (who's hitting more like Barry Lyons these days). With the tying runs on base, Saito struck out Pedro Feliz and Eliezer Alfonso to end it and send 42,000 Giants fans home in a bad mood. The Dodgers' win puts them four games ahead of San Diego and Arizona and seven in front of San Francisco and Colorado. They've won six straight series, nineteen of their last twenty-two, and seven of their last nine against the Giants. Clearly Toby Hall deserves most of the credit. August
19, 2006 -
Dodgers 14, Giants 7
Andre Ethier had a big night, knocking in three runs, and even J.D. Drew had three RBI of his own. Still, we just can't sit here and pretend that we didn't see Drew play the outfield like he was a blind man who had just rode the Tea Cups. The Dodgers entered the bottom of the fifth up 10-4, but Jamie Wright singled off of Greg Maddux and Omar Vizquel reached first on an error by Nomar Garciaparra. With two outs, Ray Durham hit one to deep right field. Drew retreated, turned, turned again, ran a hook pattern, did a pirouette, and then half-heartedly jumped at the wall. Realizing he jumped too high, Drew reached down in a last-ditch attempt to make the catch, but the ball glanced off his glove. Drew staggered a few feet towards the infield like a drunk homeless man, and then circled around and picked up the ball. Durham was at third, two runs had scored, and a once laughable 10-0 lead was now a tenuous 10-6 lead. In the scheme of things, Drew's play was harmless—and he even knocked in two insurance runs a couple of innings later—but we can't help but think that Drew just isn't all there. Durham's 5th inning shot was catchable, and perhaps so was Omar Vizquel's bloop single in the 4th that gave the Giants their first hit off of Maddux. If you want to blame the wind, fine, but there's more going on than that. Sure, maybe we should be used to Drew's style by now, but it's just too damn frustrating to accept. As is the fact that he has three years remaining on his contract. God help us all. August
16, 2006 -
Marlins 15, Dodgers 4
Sadly, the rest of the Dodger pitchers didn't fare much better on Wednesday. Of the five guys to take the mound, only Brett Tomko escaped unscathed... and that's just because the Marlins were tired of hitting by the ninth inning. Thankfully Cody Ross left the game in the fourth inning or he might have driven in ten runs. The former Dodger knocked in four in his first three at-bats before colliding with teammate Dan Uggla in right field. Unfortunately for the Dodgers, Mark Hendrickson didn't collide with anyone. August
15, 2006 -
Dodgers 4, Marlins 0
Tuesday's win—powered offensively by some clutch hitting in the 7th inning—was the Dodgers' seventeenth win in the last eighteen games. The last time the Dodgers had a comparable streak was 1899, when Jeff Kent was only 4 years old. What's a little sad, however, is that even with their streak, they still only lead the West by three and a half games. Sure, being three and a half games up is better than three and a half games back, but considering the fact that they lost 13 of 14 prior to this streak, forgive us if we're not wetting our Takashi Saito autographed underpants. August
13, 2006 -
Dodgers 1, Giants 0
Sunday's matchup of Greg Maddux and Jason Schmidt proved to be no disappointment. Once in a while there's a game that makes you remember what baseball used to be like before steroids, shitty pitching, and the disappearance of fundamentals. Sunday was that game—a pitcher's duel straight out of the 1970s. Schmidt went eight innings, allowed five hits, and struck out nine. Maddux went eight innings, allowed two hits, and retired twenty-two straight batters after giving up two singles in the first. After three appearances, you can't really complain about Maddux. He's thrown a six-inning no-hitter, a six-inning victory, and an eight-inning shutout. Of the twenty innings he's pitched for the Dodgers, he hasn't allowed a hit in fifteen of them. For a guy who's made his living letting guys hit the ball, that's a pretty sweet start. It's also been a pretty sweet stretch for the Dodgers. With the 3-game sweep of San Francisco—their first against the Giants at Dodger Stadium since September 1989—the Dodgers have now won fifteen of their last sixteen. Clearly, they're doing it by spreading the load. There isn't one guy carrying the team, and other than Toby Hall, they're isn't one guy who's dragging the team down. Mark Hendrickson battled on Friday night, Wilson Betemit had the big blow on Saturday, and Russell Martin was the hero on Sunday. Even Brett Tomko got the job done, pitching a scoreless ninth after Maddux was removed. More importantly, Tomko saved Grady Little's ass, making his manager look like a genius for taking out a guy who had only made 68 pitches and had retired the last twenty-two guys he'd faced. August
10, 2006 -
Dodgers 4, Rockies 3
While the Dodgers are far from being in control of the division, the ground they've made up in two weeks is definitely impressive. More impressive would be sticking around the top for a few weeks. Even more impressive than that would be someone teaching Chad Billingsley how to throw a strike. The rookie threw more balls than strikes on Thursday and now has 47 walks and only 38 strikeouts this year. Billingsley issued three straight walks in the third inning but managed to get out of a bases loaded mess. In the fourth, Billingsley walked the first two batters before retiring the next three in order. He then walked the leadoff guy in the fifth. After the game, he walked his dog, walked to the market, and walked like an Egyptian. August
9, 2006 -
Rockies 3, Dodgers 1
The Dodgers' only run came on a 5th inning sacrifice fly from Derek Lowe, but it looked as if they'd easily break a 1-1 tie in the eighth. Even the scoreboard was confident, giving the Dodgers an imaginary run. But it wasn't to be. With one out and the bases loaded, Jeff Kent showed the patience of, well, someone half his age, popping up to second base on the first pitch. Andre Ethier then showed the patience of someone, well, exactly his age, weakly grounding out to second on a 2-0 pitch from a guy who had just entered the game. We suppose you can call it a rookie mistake, but even a high school kid knows that you make a guy throw a strike, especially if he's fresh out of the pen. The Dodgers' streak seemed to catch up with them in the top of the ninth. Or, to be more accurate, Grady Little's managing caught up with them in the top of the ninth. Little seems to have very little respect for that thing called a position, and doesn't appear to see anything wrong with moving guys around the field like they're ceramic chess pieces. One minute Julio Lugo is at second base, one minute he's rumored to be playing the outfield, and one minute he's making his first career start at third. Then eight innings later he's back at second. His inability to knock down a line drive in the ninth gave the Rockies the game-winning run, but you can blame Little as much as Lugo. Meanwhile, Wilson Betemit is suddenly in the game, and botches a routine rundown, James Loney finds himself in right field for the first time in his career, and Olmedo Saenz—who moves with the gracefulness of a dump truck—looks down to see himself wearing a first baseman's glove. With Nomar Garciaparra back in action the Dodgers definitely have a logjam in the infield, but that's no excuse for playing musical bases. (Incidentally, props to Ned Colletti on giving Little nine infielders but releasing two outfielders. Nice work.) Finally, we leave you with this shocker: Nancy Drew is hurt. Jeez, he'd better stop playing with such gusto. August
8, 2006 -
Dodgers 4, Rockies 2
While we're pretty sure Saenz would prefer a couple of donuts to a testicle massage, Dodger Blues will not go back on our word. We might wear latex gloves, we might throw up, and we might need years of therapy, but we won't go back on our word. Olmedo, we'll meet you behind the left field pavilion before batting practice. All we ask is that you shower first. August
7, 2006 -
Dodgers 7, Rockies 2
With Monday's victory over the Rockies, the Dodgers have now won ten in a row. They're two games over .500, are tied for the Wild Card lead, and have inched to within a game and a half of the Padres—this week's first place team. rBrad Penny pitched eight strong innings (without any conniption fits) and Jeff Kent returned to the lineup with two hits, including a 2-run homer to center. Kent's return, however, meant that someone needed to go, and that someone was Elmer Dessens. Someone, no one... whatever. The way the Dodgers were playing late in July, it wouldn't have been a surprise to see them finish the season 25 games below .500. They couldn't pitch, and when they did, they couldn't hit. When they did hit, they couldn't field. And when they could field, there was Danys Baez coming out of the bullpen. A lot has changed in less than two weeks, and frankly we take credit for all of it. On the morning of July 28th—after the Dodgers had lost thirteen of the previous fourteen—we changed the Photo Fun graphic on the site to show a fan stabbing himself. The Dodgers haven't lost since. August
4, 2006 -
Dodgers 6, Marlins 2
Before the game, the Dodgers officially parted ways with Jose Cruz, Jr., giving him his unconditional release. The Dodgers had designated Cruz for assignment last week with the hopes that they could trade him, but a little league team in Sylmar was the only one to express interest. In releasing Cruz, the Dodgers will eat $1.2 million—most of which should come out of Kim Ng's pockets. It was Ng and Roy Smith who signed Cruz to an extension while they were playing around in the then-empty general manager's office. (They also stole paper clips and some USB cables that Paul DePodesta had left behind, but that's none of our business.) So, the Dodgers are on a roll, playing well, and making up ground in the standings. That means only one thing: a twelve game losing streak around the corner. August
3, 2006 -
Dodgers 3, Reds 0
Despite Joe Beimel blowing Maddux' no-hitter immediately after the rain delay, three Dodger relievers combined to complete the shutout and record the team's second straight series sweep. After losing thirteen of the first fourteen after the break, the Dodgers have done a one-eighty and find themselves just three games back in the West and two back in the Wild Card race. How the hell is that possible? A week ago it didn't look like the Dodgers would ever win another game... let alone six... in a row. Maybe Danys Baez had terrible gas and everyone can finally breathe again. Who knows. August
1, 2006 -
Dodgers 10, Reds 4
The
Dodgers' fourth consecutive win moves them to within four games
of the Padres and into a tie for third place. Our bad, Ned Colletti
is a genius. |
A
night after going sixteen innings to knock of the Reds on Tuesday,
the Dodgers had little interest in going more than nine on Wednesday.
Greg Maddux was happy to assist to that end, going seven innings
and allowing just two earned runs. Maddux also knocked in two runs,
one on a base hit and one on a perfectly executed squeeze play.
Watching fundamentally unsound pitchers over the years, you really
have to appreciate a guy like Maddux. He knows what to do with a
comebacker, he knows when to cover first, and he knows when it's
okay to crack a smile.
It
took the guy a few starts, but Chad Billingsley has apparently figured
out the key to winning games: throwing strikes. Billingsley walked
only one on Sunday, pitching seven innings and giving up two runs.
If Grady Little can shuffle the rotation so that Billingsley only
faces the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers just might have a chance.
As
the Diamondbacks inched back on Saturday, one run at a time, it
felt more and more like the Dodgers' fifth consecutive loss was
inevitable. Just when they had completely blown their 3-0 lead,
however, Jeff Kent came up big, hitting a home run to begin the
ninth inning. Takashi Saito, who blew his second save of the season
a day before, rebounded to pitch a scoreless ninth and seal the
victory for the Dodgers, who remain a game up on San Diego. 
Well,
so much for Grady Little's bid to become the first manager in modern
history to not care enough to be ejected from a game. Little made
it five months into the season without getting kicked out of a game,
but a combination of a shitty umpire crew and building frustration
from his team's sudden plunge led to his early exit on Wednesday.
Little already had company in the clubhouse, as Julio Lugo was booted
an inning earlier. Shortly after Little's departure, Brad Penny
followed—after being coaxed into a violent eruption by plate
umpire Rick Reed. Little, Lugo, and Penny spent the rest of the
game building voodoo dolls of the umpiring crew... although Penny's
looked remarkably like Alyssa Milano.
You
start to get wrapped up in the Dodgers' incredible month of August
and it's easy to forget. It's easy forget that these are the Dodgers.
It's easy to forget that they can be as bad as they are good. And
it's easy to forget that it only can take a couple of days for things
to go sour. Well, that's not so easy to forget anymore. The Dodgers
were cruising when they arrived in San Diego early this week, but
after Monday's 4-2 loss and Tuesday's 1-0 loss to the Padres, the
Dodgers lead in the West is down to two games. After winning nineteen
of twenty-two, the Dodgers have been humbled, losing four of their
last six. Aside from a runaway game against the Giants over the
weekend, the Dodgers have posted more than five runs in a game only
once since August 7th. And it gets worse: Olmedo Saenz seeems to
have dropped a couple pounds. That's a bad omen if there's ever
been one.
Instead
of sending us threatening emails about how we're too hard on J.D.
Drew, how about some thank you notes? After calling out Drew on
Saturday night, the fragile outfielder responded in the first inning
on Sunday, blasting a 2-run homer to spark the Dodgers 5-2 victory
over the Giants. While it wasn't his batting we necessarily called
him out on, apparently all he needed was a little fire lit under
his ass. (Ok, fine, the huge box of bibles we sent to his hotel
room might have had something to do with it, too.) 
Rebounding
from their two-game losing streak, the Dodgers clobbered the Giants
for ten runs in the first two innings on Saturday night en route
to a 14-7 victory. As the Dodgers pounded out hit after hit in the
second inning and the Giants threw the ball away, you couldn't help
but smile knowing that 43,000 Giants fans were getting to witness
the bloodshed firsthand. 
Well,
you had to figure it was coming. After three weeks of insane play,
the Dodgers finally broke down on Wednesday. (And when we say broke
down, we're talking on the side of the freeway... with smoke
coming from the hood... and the gas tank on fire.) The Dodgers lost
by eleven runs and were pretty much fucked from the start. Mark
Hendrickson walked the bases loaded in the first inning, and all
three runners came around to score. It's truly amazing that Hendrickson
could throw so many balls considering that he releases the ball
about nine feet from home plate, but whatever. Hendrickson could
blindfold opposing batters and we're still pretty sure he wouldn't
be able to get them out. In nine games as a Dodger, Hendrickson
has a 5.19 ERA and a record of 1-5. He's so forgettable that it
took us about fifteen minutes the other day to even remember who
the Dodgers' fifth starter was.
Since
he was recalled from Triple-A on June 14th, Chad Billingsley has
found a place to live, has found some veteran pitchers to guide
him, and has found out that fortunes can change drastically for
a major league baseball team. There was only one thing he seemed
to have trouble finding: the strike zone. After Tuesday, however,
the search appears to be over. In what was clearly the best start
of his rookie season, Billingsley struck out nine Marlins and walked
only one in seven shutout innings. The Marlins aren't exactly tearing
up the league, but what does being eight games under .500 really
mean? After all, the Dodgers were there just a little more than
two weeks ago.
Is
there anything better than watching the Dodgers beat the Giants?
Well, yes: Watching the Dodgers beat the Giants with a walk-off
home run in the bottom of the tenth. Is there anything better than
that? Sure: Having that walk-off home run seal a series sweep. And
is there anything better than that? Absolutely: Spotting those pathetic
souls dressed in orange and black try to sneak their way out of
the stadium without anyone seeing their autograped Marvin Benard
jersey.
The
Dodgers are going to win. Nope, the Rockies tied it. The Dodgers
are going to win. Nope, the Rockies tied it. The Dodgers are going
to win. Nope, the Rockies tied it. Finally, in the bottom of the
ninth, the Dodgers actually won. Takashi Saito got the victory despite
being charged with his first blown save of the season (thanks to
defensive blunders by Jason Repko and Jeff Kent). Kenny Lofton bailed
his teammates out in the bottom of the inning, however, driving
in Julio Lugo from second base to give the Dodgers a walk-off victory.
The win is their twelfth in the last thirteen games and puts the
Dodgers in sole possession of first place for the first time since
June 26th.
After
winning eleven games in a row, you wouldn't think a single loss
would be too frustrating... but these are the Dodgers we're talking
about. Taking a very winnable game and quickly turning it into an
embarrassment, the Dodgers lost to Colorado on Wednesday night,
3-1. It's not frustrating that they lost—it's frustrating
how they lost (on mistake after mistake), and when
they lost (on a day where they could have moved into sole possession
of first place). 
The
last time the Dodgers won eleven games in a row, Jody Reed was the
second baseman, Lenny Harris weighed less than three hundred pounds,
and Darryl Strawberry was doing coke in the clubhouse. That was
1993, and on Tuesday, the Dodgers did it again... minus the coke.
Greg Maddux went six innings, and although not nearly as sharp as
he was last week, limited the Rockies to two runs. A home run by
Rafael Furcal gave the Dodgers their first run and a Wilson Betemit
homer tied the game at two in the seventh inning. Then Olmedo Saenz
took things into his own hands. Well aware that an eleventh consecutive
win would earn him a testicle massage (see 8/7 article), Saenz delivered
the game winning base hit, driving in Russell Martin later in the
seventh.
Last
week, after the Dodgers had won a few in a row, a friend predicted
that the streak would reach eleven. "If the Dodgers win eleven
in a row," I responded, "I'll give Olmedo Saenz a testicle
massage." Well, things are about to get very intimate. And
gross. 
Well,
would you look at that. The Dodgers are two games out of first place.
Fans are getting excited again, the team is getting confident again,
and Ned Colletti is looking in the mirror with a big smile (although
he can barely see any teeth through that moustache). On Friday night,
the Dodgers won their seventh consecutive game, putting away the
Marlins, 6-2. Rafael Furcal had two hits to extend his modest hitting
streak, Kenny Lofton went 3-for-5 with a home run, and Julio Lugo...
well, he went 0-for-4. Derek Lowe actually decided to earn some
of his salary, going seven innings and allowing just a run. That
makes Carolyn Hughes very hot.
There
are three things growing this week for the Dodgers: (1) their winning
streak—now at six, (2) Greg Maddux's chin—now of the double
variety, and (3) Charley Steiner and Steve Lyons' penises—throbbing
with excitement over seeing a future Hall-of-Famer wearing Dodger
blue. We hear the Dodgers won on Thursday, but it was tough to know
since the cameras only seemed to be following Maddux... on the mound,
in the dugout, and in the shower washing his saggy man boobs. Looking
more like a third base coach than a pitcher, Maddux began his Dodger
career in style, tossing six innings of no-hit ball. Only a rain
delay ended the old man's bid for his first no-hitter, a feat that
Maddux doesn't seem particularly concerned about. Clearly he's much
more concerned about keeping his 68-year-old stirrup socks in perfect
condition. Hey, whatever works. 
Techincally,
David Ross played on Tuesday against his former team. The closer
he looked, however, he'd realize that the Dodgers are his former
team in name only. Just four active Dodgers (Olmedo Saenz, Giovanni
Carrara, Elmer Dessens, and Brad Penny) were on the 2004 team with
Ross. Nonetheless, Ross did what most former Dodgers do: crank it
up a notch against the team that discarded them. Ross went 2-for-3
on Tuesday with a home run and 2 RBIs, but it wasn't enough to down
the Dodgers. Taking advantage of a Ryan Freel error in the seventh
inning, the Dodgers scored five unearned runs (including Olmedo
Saenz all the way from first base) and went on to beat the Reds,
10-4. Rafael Furcal had three hits and 4 RBIs, James Loney had three
hits, and Wilson Betemit and J.D. Drew had two apiece. Cesar Izturis
also went 2-for-4... uh, in Chicago.