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> DECEMBER 2005 December
23, 2005
In other Dodger news, Norihiro Nakamura was officially released earlier in the week. Nakamura, who spent the majority of last season at triple-A Las Vegas, will be sorely missed by... by... uh... his translator, who's now out of a job. December
20, 2005
The Lofton signing wasn't the Dodgers' only move of the day. Brian Myrow fans suffered a big blow when the team non-tendered the 29-year-old rookie. Jason Phillips and Mike Edwards are history, too. Paul DePodesta fans are celebrating, however, as his boy Choi agreed to a $725,000 contract. That's a $375,000 raise. Dude hits .253, strikes out 25% of the time, displays no power aside from a freakish weekend, and gets a raise? Absurd. December
18, 2005
As for Nomar, wherever on the field he ends up (hopefully, as far as we're concerned, replacing Hee Seop Choi at first base), his health will be the biggest issue. He played in only 21 games in 2001 because of a wrist injury, played in 81 games in 2004 because of an Achilles tendon injury, and wound up playing just 62 games last season because of a groin injury. If Nomar ends up playing first base, there could be an infield logjam when Cesar Izturis comes back around the All-Star break. Odds are, however, Garciaparra will be on the DL by July, so it might work out perfectly. Gotta give Colletti credit for thinking ahead. And it never hurts to have seven guys capable of playing shortstop. You never know when six of 'em will eat bad Chinese food. December
15, 2005
First, McCourt hired a Harvard guy, Paul DePodesta. Then he took the names off of the Dodger uniforms. Then he convinced DePodesta to sign Derek Lowe, who spent seven seasons in Boston. Then the Dodgers hired analyst Steve Lyons, who played for the Sox. Late last season, the Dodgers acquired Jose Cruz, Jr., who had spent nearly two weeks with the Red Sox. Then, a couple weeks ago, McCourt hired Grady Little, who spent two years in Boston. Soon after, the Dodgers hired Tagg Romney—the son of Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney—as chief marketing officer. Days later, the Dodgers agreed to a deal with Bill Mueller, who played the last three seasons with the Red Sox. Now, there are rumors that the Dodgers are pursuing Nomar Garciaparra and Johnny Damon (which, whether they land either of them or not, is a pretty positive sign). Continuing his quest to Bostonize the Dodgers, sources tell us that McCourt soon plans to add a Freedom Trail on the Loge level, declare the Yankees as the Dodgers' biggest rival, and capture Peter Gammons. December
14, 2005
December
13, 2005
While Bradley's anger caused him problems on and off the field, the Dodgers didn't trade him for that reason. The Dodgers traded Milton Bradley because he doesn't get along with Jeff Kent. Period. Sadly, you can't really blame the Dodgers for making the trade. With what went down last season, there's no way in hell Bradley and Kent could co-exist in the same clubhouse in 2006. It's easy to say, “Well why can't they realize what's best for the team and just get along?” The problem is that they're both lunatics, and, as a general rule, lunatics can't get along with each other (unless, of course, we're talking about the kind of lunatic that pierces their scrotum or plasters their car with bumper stickers or eats glue, but we're not). Jeff Kent and Milton Bradley are both babies, and clearly Grady Little has no interest in breast-feeding… although it's a good bet he's got some healthy man boobs. While the Dodgers may not miss Milton Bradley the Distraction (a.k.a. Milton Bradley the Wife Beater, Milton Bradley the Bottle Thrower, Milton Bradley the Ball Tosser, and Milton Bradley the Disorderly Conduct Man), they will undoubtedly miss Milton Bradley the Baseball Player. Besides his energy and passion (the likes of which the Dodgers hadn't seen since Kirk Gibson), Bradley knew how to play the game. It's not very often you see a guy hit a home run in one at-bat and then lay down a perfect bunt in his next. He was a joy to watch, and you can't say that about too many guys playing baseball. (Granted, one of the reasons he was a joy to watch was that every so often you'd be lucky enough to witness him having a mental breakdown.) Along with Bradley, the Dodgers sent Antonio Perez to Oakland. Perez, who hit .297 last season, was recently sidelined in the Dominican Winter League after being hit in the face with a pitch and suffering a small fracture of his left cheekbone. Unless the Dodgers know something about him that Oakland doesn't (such as the fact that he was actually killed by that pitch), losing Perez is a bit of a drag. He did, after all, lead the team in batting. It's a little hard to believe that the Dodgers couldn't get any major league talent in exchange for Perez and Bradley, and considering that Billy Beane was involved, who knows whether they got any minor league talent either.... er, Ethier. While Andre Ethier was the Texas League player of the year last season—hitting .319 in 131 games with 18 homers and 80 RBI in Midland—he'll likely end up having nine at-bats in Los Angeles, striking out eight times and getting hit by a pitch. Good news for Jeff Kent, though: Ethier is a huge NASCAR fan. December
10, 2005
December
8, 2005
"Oh Jesus Christ," said Idone Givasheet. "I've been crying since yesterday. I don't know who I'm going to root for anymore. The way Jason Grabowski walked back to the dugout after striking out, dragging the bat and looking at the ground... it made me weak in the knees." Givasheet isn't alone. Hoo Fuh-Kin Kayrz, a Dodger fan since birth, doesn't know what he'll do with his Bako blog. "I used to write about him every day," said Kayrz. "Well, I mean, all thirteen games that he played with the Dodgers. That double he got on May 12th... wow!" Thankfully for fans, Ned Colletti figures to bring in a whole new crop of crap to fill up spots on the bench and the DL. Grabowski fans have no fear: Mike Mordecai to the rescue. Bako fans need not worry: Sandy Alomar Jr. will fill the void. Valentin fans: move the fuck to New York. December
7, 2005
You think we're joking? Ned Colletti woke up on Tuesday morning, right in midst of the Winter Meetings, and found that his cell phone wasn't working. Had he forgotten to charge it? No. Was he out of his service area? No. Was there lousy reception in his hotel room? No. So what exactly happened? Pretty simple: the San Francisco Giants stopped paying for his phone. Beautiful. The Los Angeles Dodgers general manager was using a San Francisco Giants cell phone. Colletti got the situation straightened out later in the day, but it just goes to show that the Dodger front office really is as incompetent as it seems—maybe even more so. There are sales people for douche companies who are given a cell phone their first day on the job. The Los Angeles Dodgers, though, somehow forgot. It's probably because Frank McCourt has fired everyone who used to handle those kinds of things. Maybe it needs to be added to Drew McCourt's job description. That way he can make himself useful when he's not playing with Legos in daddy's office. December
6, 2005
Grady Little won 93 games in his first season as Red Sox manager, and 95 games in his second season. He also won 6 games in the postseason. That's 194 games in two seasons. Yet, if it weren't for the Red Sox championship a year after Little departed, people in Boston would still be calling for his head. He won 194 games, but Sox fans best remember the game that could have been his 195th. Little, of course, failed to pull Pedro Martinez in the 8th inning in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. If we were Red Sox fans, we probably wouldn't be able to forgive him for that either. But we're not Red Sox fans, and as much as Little made a huge mistake that night, it was just one night. (In comparison, Jim Tracy made mistakes like that every night.) After the 2003 ALCS, Peter Gammons wrote about the anger directed toward Little: "This is pure, unadulterated hatred for a wonderfully decent man who was a large part in the centrifugal force that held together a team that had a few dysfunctional parts, not to mention the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' bullpen." Granted, in the same article Gammons also wrote this: "Dodger fans should be excited about the McCourt deal after years of the O'Malley family running one of baseball's three jeweled franchises like a family compound, then the present owners essentially running it with benign neglect." Well, so much for Gammons' credibility. The selection of Little may not make you jump with glee, but it's a better choice than Jim Fregosi. And at least the guy has a sense of humor. Asked about his strengths as a manager, Little mentioned his ability to communicate with players, saying with his southern drawl, "I think one of the main reasons I'm able to communicate is that I'm talking so slow, it's real easy for someone to comprehend what the hell I'm saying. They don't miss anything." We'll see if he's still joking, though, after watching Jason Repko repeatedly swing at balls in the dirt. As for Little's reputation, let's face it—if his biggest problem is leaving a superstar pitcher in a postseason game too long, he really shouldn't have any problems in Los Angeles. After all, the Dodgers don't have any pitchers who can make it past the 7th inning, and they don't figure to make it to the postseason anyway. December
4, 2005
In
addition to giving the Dodger offense a boost, the signing of Furcal
is big for Ned Colletti. When the Dodgers' pursuit of Brian Giles
failed last week, Colletti quickly turned his attention to Furcal,
who seemed a sure bet to end up in Chicago. The fact that Colletti
was able to steal a guy away from two teams with better prospects
of winning definitely says something. Maybe it says that he's aggressive.
Maybe it says that he gets respect. Or, more likely, it says that
he overpaid. Regardless, it restores a little bit of the organization's
clout—at least momentarily. Sadly, they had to break the bank
to do it. Now, more importantly, who's going to break the news to
Oscar Robles that he's playing in Mexico next season? |
Not that we care, but maybe someone should check on Frank McCourt
to make sure he's not tied up and bound in his office. How else
can you explain the Dodgers' sudden shopping spree? Ned Colletti
continued dishing out McCourt's dough on Thursday, signing free-agent
Brett Tomko to a 2-year deal worth $8.7 million. If Tomko is a $4
million dollar pitcher, than we're the John Steinbeck of the internet.
It's terrific that Tomko pitched two great games against the Dodgers
over the course of his 9-year career (one against Nomo in '97 and
one when Steve Finley hit his slam in '04), but he's not any better
than D.J. Houlton or, for that matter, D.J. Houlton's grandmother.
Tomko has a career ERA of 4.52, and you can't blame it on spending
time in the American League (where he pitched for only two seasons).
If there's any positive with Tomko, it's that he eats innings (as
opposed to Odalis Perez, who eats everything), meaning we'll see
less of Jonathan Broxton and Franquelis Osoria.
It's
the season for giving, and Ned Colletti has certainly been in the
spirit. After signing Nomar Garciaparra on Monday, Colletti inked
free agent Kenny Lofton to a deal on Tuesday, giving the 58-year-old
a one-year contract, and giving the Dodgers a temporary replacement
for Milton Bradley. In a matter of weeks, Colletti has replenished
the Dodger roster with a well-known group of players— well-known
because they've played a collective 6,233 games in the major leagues
(just three more games than Jesse Orosco played in his career).
Despite his age, Lofton's numbers have remained fairly steady...
which begs the question: Why are the Dodgers his eighth team in
the last five years? Is it because he drops stinkers in the dugout?
Is it because he hooks up with the manager's daughter? Is it because
he drops stinkers on the manager's daughter? Whatever the
reason, Lofton has been moving from team to team at a Todd Zeile-like
pace—only Zeile got to go home to a gymnast.
The
Dodgers took another step toward becoming the 2003 Boston Red Sox
on Sunday, coming to terms with Mr. Mia Hamm on a one-year deal.
While Nomar Garciaparra is definitely a huge risk and isn't nearly
the player he once was, the signing actually makes sense for a number
of reasons. First of all, the Dodgers need a bat. Second, the Dodgers
need players who are capable of getting along with each other. And
third, Dodger fans need to feel a little love—need to feel
like their team is at least making an attempt to be competitive.
It's icing on the cake that the New York Yankees were one of the
teams that lost out on Nomar. The Yankees, in fact, have lost out
on just about everybody they've gone after this offseason. The Dodgers,
on the other hand, have actually succeeded in luring guys away from
other, more stable organizations. Rafael Furcal left the Braves
and almost signed with the Cubs before choosing the Dodgers (granted,
for a lot more money). Bill Mueller turned down a 3-year deal with
Pittsburgh and an offer from the Giants to sign a 2-year deal with
the Dodgers. And now Garciaparra, offered deals by the Yankees,
Astros, and Indians, has chose the Dodgers, a team in complete disarray
just a few weeks ago. While we don't see the point of Sandy Alomar
Jr. and we're not exactly keen on the idea of the Kenny Lofton (should
he accept the Dodgers' offer), Ned Colletti has done a pretty decent
job of turning a heap of shit into a somewhat respectable team—without
sacrificing the future or locking the organization into long-term
deals.
If there was a way to have a tea party in Los Angeles, you get the
feeling Frank McCourt would arrange it. After failing to buy the
Boston Red Sox a few years ago, McCourt is now doing everything
in his power to turn Los Angeles into Boston. If it brings the Dodgers
a championship, more power to him, but it's a little eerie at the
moment. It's like having an Asian fetish, but not being able to
land an Asian girl, so you get a white girl and buy her kimonos.
After
watching Ned Colletti for a few weeks, we've come to one conclusion:
he doesn't see so good. It's the only explanation, really, for the
way he's reshaping the roster. He sits in his office, looks out
on Dodger Stadium, and sees an infield. That's it, an infield. He
signed Rafael Furcal even though the Dodgers already had a shortstop—two,
actually. He signed Sandy Alomar, Jr. even though the Dodgers already
had a backup catcher who can't throw. He signed Bill Mueller even
though the Dodgers had a couple young guys who probably could have
handled the job. Meanwhile, what's he done with the outfield? Oh,
other than trading their best outfielder, not a thing. As it stands
now, the Dodger outfield is as bad as its ever been—and that
includes those unforgettable years in the 80s when Ken Landreaux,
Candy Maldonado, and Mike Marshall patrolled the turf. If the season
were to start today, Jose Cruz, Ricky Ledee, and J.D. Drew would
be the starting three—assuming J.D. wouldn't mind playing on
crutches. These guys aren't terrible, but they make an ugly threesome.
Cruz is a good platoon player, Ledee is a good backup, and Drew
is a good... uh... oh, forget it. The point is, the Dodgers don't
have a sure thing in the outfield. Not one. Yeah, Bill Mueller is
a good guy to have around, but was there no better way to spend
$10 million? Hell, for $20,000 they could have hired a hypnotist
to convince Bradley and Kent that they were soulmates. How do you
think Paul Shuey and Tom Martin got so close?
To no one's surprise, the Dodgers dumped Milton Bradley on Tuesday,
trading him to Oakland for minor league outfielder Andre Ethier.
Upon hearing the news, Bradley expressed hope that a fresh start—his
eighth in the last three years—would benefit his rocky career. Bradley
then stood up, broke a ceramic mug across his dog's head, and set
fire to his home.
Foiled in their bid to sign Gary Carter, the Dodgers settled for
Sandy Alomar Jr. on Saturday, signing the 65-year-old catcher to
a one-year contract. Sources tell Dodger Blues that the contract
is heavily laden with incentives: Alomar gets $500 each time he's
able to stand up, $1,000 each time he has a solid bowel movement,
and $50,000 if he doesn't have a knee operation by March. The numbers
on Alomar put Darren Dreifort to shame: in recent years he's had
twelve stints on the disabled list and seven knee operations (five
on the left and two on the right). The signing of Alomar suggests
a few things: (1) The Dodgers have no confidence in Jason Phillips,
(2) Ned Colletti blew his wad on Rafael Furcal and has nothing left,
and (3) the opposition is going to run wild on the Dodgers again.
In seventeen attempts against him last year, Alomar didn't throw
out a single runner. Well then, who better to mentor Dioner Navarro?
Essentially the Dodgers are paying almost three quarters of a million
dollars for a coach with bad knees. Well, at least J.D. Drew will
have a friend on the DL to commiserate with. 
It's been a difficult few years for Dodger fans, but they've never
suffered more than they have this week. First came Wednesday's devastating
news: Jason Grabowski had signed to play ball in Japan. Then came
the news on Thursday morning that Jose Valentin, everyone's favorite
Zorro look-alike, had signed with the Mets. Hours later, it only
got worse as Gabor Paul Bako II, everyone's favorite Gabor, agreed
to a deal with the Kansas City Royals. Needless to say, Dodger fans
are in shock.
Imagine the press conference a few days from now, after a desperate
Ned Colletti dips into the bargain bin for outfield help...
Considering
that Jim Fregosi was the team's only managerial candidate for weeks,
it may have come as a shocker to him that Grady Little was ultimately
hired as Dodger manager at baseball's Winter Meetings on Tuesday.
Considering Frank McCourt's obsession with Boston, however, the
hiring of Little makes perfect sense—well, except for the fact that
Little is hated in Boston.
Aside
from the fact that Dodgers already have a shortstop, the surprising
signing of Rafael Furcal is—dare we say—a pretty good
move. While thirty-nine million is a crapload to pay a shortstop
who doesn't hit home runs, Furcal fills a hole the Dodgers have
had since Dave Roberts was traded—that of leadoff man. He also
fills a hole the Dodgers have had since Raul Mondesi was traded—that
of drunk driver. Furcal has been arrested twice for drunk driving,
but we've got to admit that his arrests to stolen base ratio (of
1 to 95) is pretty impressive. It's clear, however, that Furcal's
troubles with alcohol aren't over. How else would you explain his
decision to sign with the Dodgers over the Cubs or Braves? Frank
McCourt took Furcal out to dinner Friday night and obviously got
the dude sauced. Some food, some drinks, some lies about what the
team's direction is... and boom, he's a Dodger. Just wait until
the poor guy sobers up. "It's going to be tough. This is going
to be the first time he's ever been without Bobby Cox," said
Furcal's agent Paul Kinzer. Sorry, Paul, one minor correction: This
is going to be the first time he's ever been without a manager.
Period.