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> JANUARY 2005 January
30, 2005
The
Fred Claire impersonator Blue,
Blue, Blue Your
favorite Dodger The
true fan January
25, 2005
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23, 2005
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18, 2005
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16, 2005
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13, 2005
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9, 2005
PDP:
"Derek, we'd like you to come to L.A. on Monday." January
8, 2005
January
6, 2005
January
4, 2005
January
3, 2005
January
1, 2005
The year began with Frank McCourt breaking into his kids' piggy banks to come up with the money to buy the Dodgers. We watched as Anaheim stole Vladimir Guerrero, and the Dodgers responded by inviting Jeremy Giambi to spring training. And then Bubba Trammell. And then Troy Brohawn. Finally, Major League Baseball owners gave the City of Los Angeles a collective middle finger, approving the sale of the team to Frank McCourt. Fans had very little hope for the Dodgers going into the season. On Opening Day, spirits were low. But Adrian Beltre learned to hit and Dodger baseball was suddenly fun. But then they lost eight in a row, and it looked like an early collapse was imminent. But then Alex Cora fouled off 18 pitches before homering off of Matt Clement. But then Hideo Nomo lost 20 mph off his fastball, and the rotation looked bad. But then Milton Bradley threw a bag of baseballs on the field, and fans were fired up. But then Paul Lo Duca and Dave Roberts were unloaded, and everyone was ready to burn down the stadium. But the addition of Steve Finley to the lineup gave some fans reason to get excited. But then Darren Dreifort blew his first save opportunity and was soon lost for the season... again. But then Jim Tracy came up with a bullpen solution, pitching Eric Gagne 32 straight innings. But then Gagne started to tire. (Imagine that.) But then the Dodgers kept coming from behind to win games, and Dodger baseball was exciting again. But then Brad Penny hurt his arm, and the trade started to look pretty friggin' bad again. But Adrian Beltre kept hitting with power to right field, and a Western Division Championship looked possible. But then Milton Bradley tried to kill a fan and was ejected from the game (later to be suspended for the rest of the season). But then the Dodgers scored five runs in the 9th inning to beat Colorado, 5-4. But then Jim Tracy fell in love with Mike Venafro, and hope turned to despair. But then David Ross hit an 11th inning home run and the magic was back. But then their lead was cut to just two games on the last weekend of the season and things got scary. But then Steve Finley delivered the big blow against the Giants, and things were beautiful. But then a bunch of you called for us to take down the Gibson counter. But then we refused. But then, as weird as it seemed, the Dodgers were in the playoffs. But then came the Cardinals, and the Dodgers were on the verge of another playoff sweep. But then Jose Lima had the performance of his career, and the Dodgers had momentum. But then Odalis Perez brought nothing but hair to the mound, and that was that. But then the Yankees choked, so at least there was something to cheer about. But then the Dodgers unceremoniously dismissed Ross Porter... and Jose Lima... and Steve Finley. But then there was talk of a Tim Hudson/Edwin Jackson deal. But then, when Hudson went to Atlanta, we were hit with rumors of DePodesta and Billy Beane faking the whole thing just to boost the value of those two pitchers. And then, out of nowhere, the Dodgers signed Jeff Kent. But then, we all began to realize, Kent's signing likely meant Beltre wouldn't be back. But then DePodesta and McCourt told us Adrian was still the team's top priority. But then, suddenly, Adrian was in Seattle. And Dodgers fans went into a state of mourning, their pain only increasing as news spread of a Green, Penny, and Brazoban deal. But Javier Vazquez didn't want to come to LA, and DePodesta didn't want to be hung in the streets, so the deal was called off. But then the Dodgers made the embarassing announcement that they had signed Jose Valentin... and let Alex Cora go. But then we began to think maybe McCourt was saving his money for a big-time pitcher. But then we realized there weren't any more big time pitchers available... and McCourt had no money, anyway. No one, however, passed that news along to Paul DePodesta, who then gave mediocre outfielder J.D. Drew a Dreifort-sized Christmas present. The
year ended, appropriately, with news that the Dodgers were, once
again, close to dealing Shawn Green to Arizona. The rollercoaster,
apparently, has no breaks. Lots of loops, but no breaks.
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By
now you've probably heard that Major League Baseball is searching
for the "ultimate Dodgers fan" to feature in a national
television commercial—part of the "I live for this"
campaign. 
Denying the Dodgers were close to dumping a couple of prospects
and $2.5 million for a washed up reliever, Paul DePodesta dispelled
rumors of a Byung Hyun Kim deal on Tuesday. You've got to believe
him, frankly, because he's apparently too busy trying to invite
Scott Erickson to spring training. With his career in the shitter,
Erickson has to be thrilled to get an invitation to a bar mitzvah,
let alone spring training. After posting some decent numbers early
in his career, Erickson's body has gone the way of Darren Dreifort.
He didn't pitch in 2001 after having an elbow ligament replaced
and didn't picth in 2003 after having shoulder surgery. Sandwiched
around those seasons were ERAs of 7.87, 5.55, and 6.67. When a guy
goes from making $7 million (in 2003) to $700,000 (in 2004), it's
an indication that things might not be going so well. Enter Paul
DePodesta, who believes in buying low. Well, it doesn't get any
lower than Scott Erickson. However if it means displacing Kaz Ishii,
we're all for another cripple.
After signing Derek Lowe a week or two ago, Paul DePodesta said
he was pretty much done making significant changes to the roster.
That leaves DePodesta about a month to make insignficant
changes to the roster. His first move was to invite five non-roster
pitchers to spring training: Kelly Wunsch (who sat out most of last
season because of a shoulder injury), Mike Venafro (who weighs about
130 pounds, each pound of which Jim Tracy would like to caress),
Aquilino Lopez (who spent much of last season at triple A), Ryan
Rupe (who couldn't cut it with the lowly Devil Rays), and Buddy
Carlyle (who is equally as useless). Now, there's word that the
Dodgers might be in the process of making a deal with Boston...
for Byung Hyun Kim. Byung Hyun Kim? It would make more sense for
them to get that little third base coach Wendell Kim. Byung
Hyun is a piece of garbage. He throws funny, he's terrible, and
he cries. Not to mention he's making $6 million dollars. Oh, and
he pretty much spent the entire 2004 season in the minors. The Boston
Globe reported on Sunday that the Red Sox have an offer from a team
willing to pay $2.5 million of Kim's deal, plus give up two prospects.
The Dodgers are mentioned as possibly being that team. It's hard
to believe any team would be so stupid, but the Dodgers are always
near the top of the stupidity ladder, so who knows. We do know this,
though: If Paul DePodesta forks over anything more than and a Dodger
dog and pair of Rick Monday's pants for Kim, he should lose his
job. And his legs. And his voice (so he couldn't scream, "Hey,
give me back my legs!") 
Figuring Kim Ng wouldn't be able to screw him over in arbitration
two years in a row, the Dodgers agreed to a $19 million deal with
Eric Gagne on Tuesday. Gagne will receive $8 million in 2005 and
$10 million in 2006. The Dodgers hold a $12 million option for 2007,
but since Gagne figures to be a down-and-out middle reliever by
then, there isn't a chance in hell they'll be exercising it. That
the Dodgers would sign Gagne to a two-year deal is actually surprising.
Gagne wasn't eligible for free agency until after the 2006 season,
and it's doubtful he'd be awarded more than $19 million in arbitration
the next two seasons. And with an overworked closer—more than
with any other player—past performance is no guarantee of future
success. Gagne showed signs of breaking down last season, and it's
really just a matter of time before he becomes Rob Dibble. That's
not to say he'll start throwing baseballs at fans, but rather that
his days are numbered. Paul DePodesta obviously knows this, so it's
a little surprising that the Dodgers made the deal (even though
Gagne has obviously proven his worth). Our guess is that Kim Ng
just couldn't come up with compelling arguments to devalue the Big
Fatty. Sources tell Dodger Blues that her best attempts were the
following:
Well, it's mid-January. With the exception of a couple non-roster
invitees, the Dodger roster is pretty much set. Barring a shark
attack or a life-threatening case of hemorrhoids, Kaz Ishii will
be on that roster. His role, however, remains undefined. Will he
be the fifth starter? Will he come out of the pen? Will he walk
more guys than he actually faces? Since no one wants to see him
on the mound, we present 'Seventeen uses for Kazuhisa Ishii':
If the Dodgers hadn't announced the signing of catcher Paul Bako
on Monday, and instead just put him in a Brent Mayne uniform, would
any Dodger fan have noticed? Truthfully, would any of the Dodger
players have noticed? Bako is so bad that Paul DePodesta
felt the need to immediately explain why he'd sign such a piece
of shit catcher, saying "The ones that create runs aren't available."
Off the record, DePodesta continued: "Yeah, Paul Bako is awful—even
worse than Mayne. But think about it. He's so bad, he'll make David
Ross look like Paul Lo—uh, I mean he'll make David Ross look
like Jorge Posada... you know, if Posada was white. Plus, he'll
be able to take care of my kid during games so I can spend more
time on the phone with my boyfriend, Billy Beane. And now all those
fat women can yell 'Hey Paulie' at someone again. You're not writing
this down, are you?" So, let's get this straight: the Dodgers
spend $140 million on free-agents this winter (including $2.5 million
on Ricky Ledee, a guy who figures to get a couple at-bats a week),
but are content with Dave Ross and Paul Bako behind the plate. Dave
and Paul. Paul and Dave. Any way you say it, it's pathetic. Bako
hit .203 last year and Ross wishes he hit .203 last year.
Sure, there's more to a good catcher than offensive numbers, but
how many automatic outs are the Dodgers willing to tolerate? You
already have an automatic out at the end of the lineup (especially
considering the way Dodgers pitchers bunt), you've got an automatic
out in the six spot (Choi), and you've got something very close
to an automatic out (probably an automatic strikeout) with Jose
Valentin. If the Dodgers don't score by the time the number five
batter hits, they're shit out of luck. Funny how Odalis thinks he's
going to get more run support this year.
Well, it's finally over. The Dodgers have a guy named Dioner. (No,
Wilson, we didn't say 'diner'.) Four hours shy of ending their second
48-hour negotiating window without a deal, the Arizona Diamondbacks
and Shawn Green have finally come to an agreement. Actually, they
came to two agreements. First, they agreed that it's very hot in
Phoenix. Second, they agreed on a two-year contract extension that
will likely keep Green in purple and teal until 2007. The Dodgers
agreed to give the Diamondbacks $10 million, and Green agreed to
restructure his contract, reducing his 2005 salary to $10.5 million.
So, let's see, basically the Dodgers are paying Green's entire '05
salary, and the Diamondbacks are giving him a uniform. Nice. We're
not complaining, though, primarily for three reasons: (1) If we
had heard anything about a third 48-hour window, we'd have set fire
to our own hair, (2) Hee-Seop Choi will undoubtedly pick up right
where Green left off, hitting weak grounders to the right side like
there's no tomorrow, and (3) The Dodgers are flying Derek Lowe to
L.A. on Monday for a physical. At least we think it's a phyiscal.
In typical Dodger fashion, even Lowe isn't sure: "I'm flying
to L.A. tomorrow morning, that is all I know," said the 31-year-old
right-hander. "I think I'm taking a physical tomorrow."
We would have loved to have heard the conversation between Lowe
and Paul DePodesta:
The
Dodgers are trying to dispose of Shawn Green with such desparation
that you'd think he had raped an usher or something. Operation 'No-Green-in-the-Ravine'
is now in its third incarnation, with the Dodgers granting the Diamondbacks
another 48-hour window in which to negotiate with Green. Paul DePodesta
wants Green gone like a sore on the ballsack—and the Diamondbacks
seem equally as committed to wooing the Dodger outfielder... and
why wouldn't they, considering the Dodgers are now willing to pay
$10 million of Green's $16 million salary? Give it a couple weeks,
the Dodgers will not only agree to pay Green's entire salary,
but they'll offer to pay half of Troy Glaus's as well. With a possible
Derek Lowe signing in the works, though, you can't blame DePodesta
for wanting to free up a bit of salary. A team can only overspend
on so many players at once. Lowe may not be worth the $36 million
the Dodgers are rumored to have offered him, but he'd be a good
addition to pitching staff that's still in need of one more solid
arm. Unlike Odalis Perez, Lowe was huge when it mattered in the
playoffs, winning all three of Boston's series-clinching games.
If he does end up wearing blue, Lowe should benefit from pitching
in the NL, and should enjoy pitching in Dodger Stadium. (Although
Dodger Stadium, with its new seats within three feet of John Shelby's
ass, isn't the pitcher's park it once was.) We're getting ahead
of ourselves, though. As of 3:13 PM on Saturday, Shawn Green is
still a Dodger. And, despite our prayers, so is Kaz Ishii.
Paul
DePodesta, they say, learned from the best. Paul DePodesta, they
say, has potential. Paul DePodesta, they say, is a "can't miss"
prospect. All that may be true, but the dude's rookie season isn't
going so well. At the trading deadline, he thought had sealed a
deal for Randy Johnson. It fell through. Last month, he thought
he was close to resigning Adrian Beltre. It didn't happen. Days
later, he had orchestrated a 3-team trade involving 10 players.
He backed out. Deciding he still wanted to get rid of Shawn Green,
he found another way to do it this week. And it fell through—at
least as of this moment. Paul DePodesta, you could say, is batting
about .240. If there was someone to take his place in the lineup,
he'd be benched right about now. Maybe he'd be back at triple-A.
Maybe he'd be released. His failure certainly doesn't mean he won't
be a successful general manager at some point—it just means
things aren't going too well for him right now. Like most people
with brains, he'll learn from his mistakes. Today, he learned one
thing: Shawn Green loves L.A. more than Randy Newman. Despite everyone
thinking the Arizona deal was done, the normally passive Green somehow
found the nerve to say "No thanks." The 48-hour negotiating
window ended Thursday morning with Green refusing to waive his no-trade
clause. DePodesta has done everything but light Green's uniform
on fire, and Shawn is still a Dodger. It's fucking comical. You
get the feeling DePodesta could tie rocks to Green's legs, drop
him off the Santa Monica pier, and Green would be standing at DePodesta's
front door by the time he got home. Unless Green and the Diamondbacks
have quietly extended the deadline and are still working on a deal,
it now looks like Green will be wearing blue again in 2005. Whether
you like Green or not, the 2005 Dodgers are a better team with him
in the lineup. The fact that he'll be playing for a team that doesn't
want him shouldn't matter much considering it's the final year of
his contract. He's got money to play for, and tons have guys have
proved that's incentive enough. Let's not get ahead of ourselves,
though. Those involved have been suspiciously quiet today. And if
there's any lesson to be learned from the last couple weeks of chaos,
it's that when the Dodgers are involved, anything can happen. (Well,
apparently not anything... after all, Kaz Ishii is still
a Dodger.)
Though the Dodgers have yet to announce it, it appears that Odalis
Perez is coming back—for $24 million dollars. Perez posted
a 3.25 ERA last season, although his 14.40 postseason ERA is a little
fresher in our memory. Considering who's available at this point,
Odalis is probably the best option. But at $8 million a year? Actually,
if Ricky Ledee is worth two and a half million, maybe Odalis really
does deserve eight. Who's to say? At least maybe now he'll be willing
to drop fifteen bucks for a fucking haircut. Whether he's worth
$24 million or not, at the very least it means the Dodgers still
have something to show for Mike Piazza. When Piazza was dealt in
'98, the Dodgers got Gary Sheffield, Bobby Bonilla, Charles Johnson,
and Jim Eisenreich. Within a year, Sheffield was the only one left.
Within a couple years, punk-ass Sheffield had worn out his welcome,
capping his time in L.A. with this one: "It's not my fault
they gave Eric Karros a no-trade clause when he's got no value."
In January 2002, Sheffield was shipped to Atlanta for Brian Jordan
and Odalis. With Jordan long gone, Odalis is it—the last link
to Piazza. Odalis is also the last link to Brian Falkenborg, whom
he ate during a game in late August. Cannibalism aside, the Dodgers
suddenly have a $95 million payroll. Truth be told, it's the weirdest
way $95 million has ever been spent. Paying J.D. Drew to be a player
he's never been. Paying Jeff Kent to be the player he was five years
ago. Paying Darren Dreifort to lie in a hospital bed. Paying Shawn
Green to play for a rival. Paying Jose Valentin to do anything.
Ninety-five million. Now, apparently, Frank McCourt can walk around
and tell everyone "Told you so." When the Dodgers finish
the season in third place, we'll be saying the same thing.
After
months of rumors, a few things became official on Monday: (1) Arte
Moreno hates Orange County, (2) the Dodgers hate Shawn Green, and
(3) the entire world hates the Yankees. (Well, the entire world
with the exception of those people living in New York and those
people who happen to be 6'-10" with 97 mph fastballs.) As for
the Green situation, you could see it coming. Only thing is you
just didn't know who was coming to the Dodgers. Funny, we still
don't know. And neither does Paul DePodesta. Only the sad, beleaguered
Dodgers would trade a 30 HR guy for two players to be named... sometime
soon. We do know a few things, though. We know that the two players,
whoever they may be, are essentially minor leaguers. We know that
neither will likely have any impact in 2005 for the Dodgers. We
also know that Shawn Green will hit .650 against his former team.
We would like to predict that he'll come up with a big hit to knock
the Dodgers out of contention in September, but that would be impossible
since the Dodgers will likely be knocked out in July. Sure, if Dioner
Navarro (the Yankees catching prospect who would go to AZ in exchange
for the Big, Ugly Unit and then come to LA for Green) can do what
people seem to think he can, there might be some long-term benefit
to the trade. It's really terrific and all that Navarro physically
resembles Ivan Rodriguez, but unless his Pudgy ass produces, no
one is going to give two shits what the guy looks like—even
if he doesn't miss any games for Rosh Hashana. DePodesta is obviously
banking on Navarro's future, because the Dodgers are throwing away
the 2005 season to get him... especially considering there's no
guarantee that they'll even get him. No, Shawn Green isn't the player
to build a team around, but his bat gave the Dodgers three legitimate
power threats. Wiithout much pitching (and if you haven't noticed,
the Dodgers don't have much), they need all the power they can get.
The Dodgers are saving $8 million by dealing Green (and somehow
got talked into sending an $8 million check along with him), but
don't expect that money to buy a great arm—if it buys anything
at all. More likely, it'll go back into Frank's pocket... along
with the Arte Moreno voodoo doll.
So, you blew $200 last night to get into a stupid bar so you could
pretend to be excited about a ball dropping, huh? Now that your
head has stopped spinning and your wallet is empty, we'll give you
another reason to be nauseous: The Dodger Blues Year in Review.
For Dodger fans, 2004 was a year of highs and lows. A year of ups
and downs. A year of joy and a year of depression. A year of...
ok, you get it. In case you forgot the details, however, let's reminisce.