July 31, 2007 - Giants 3, Dodgers 1
Seven fifty-bore

Dodger Stadium was sold out on Tuesday, and even those in attendance probably couldn't tell you why they were there. To see Barry Bonds do it? To see Barry Bonds not do it? To see Roberto Hernandez pitch an inning in relief? Whatever they were there for, fans didn't get much of a show. Bonds remained at 754 while the Dodgers managed just five hits off of Giants' starter Noah Lowry—and none off of five relievers. After leaving the bases loaded in the first inning, the Dodgers did very little else. Brad Penny—who was charged with just his second loss of the season—struck out Barry Bonds on three pitches in the first inning, providing the only entertainment of the night… unless you count Juan Pierre's throw to third base in the third inning which, believe it or not, came within inches of actually nailing a runner.

As for Tuesday's trading deadline, it thankfully came and went without much ado in Los Angeles. Colletti used the deadline to correct a mistake he made last season when he acquired Wilson Betemit from the Braves. Tuesday, Betemit was sent to the Yankees in exchange for reliever Scott Proctor, who came up through the Dodgers organization. In 2003, Proctor was traded by the Dodgers to New York along with Bubba Crosby for Robin Ventura. Proctor didn't do much in New York until last season, when he appeared in a league-high 83 games. The Yankees have been using him just as frequently this year, but with much less success. Proctor is flirting with a 1:1 ratio of strikeouts to walks and has given up a home run every six innings. More exciting than anything he does on the field during games, though, is what he does on the field after games. Following a disappointing appearance against Oakland a month ago, Proctor set fire to his equipment outside the dugout. It's not exactly throwing a plastic bottle at a fan, but I'll take it.

July 29, 2007 - Rockies 9, Dodgers 6
Dodgers scalped by Ubaldo

Because a three-team race isn't interesting enough, the Dodgers decided to let a fourth team into the mix this weekend. Losing to the Rockies on Saturday and Sunday, the Dodgers are now just three games up on Colorado--and percentage points ahead of San Diego and Arizona.

Chad Billingsley took the loss on Sunday, his first of the season. He went 4 1/3 innings, walking three and giving up two home runs. The Dodger bullpen was no better, giving up five runs over the next 4 2/3 innings. Rudy Seanez had his best appearance in weeks, however, going a third of an inning and not giving up a home run.

The loss of game was compounded by the loss of Jeff Kent, who had to leave in the ninth inning after straining his left hamstring. Kent was 4-for-4 and was hitting .500 over his last dozen games. The injury is just the latest for the Dodgers, who were already trying to nurse Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, and Randy Wolf back to health. (And Charley Steiner, too, who spilled hot coffee on his belly Sunday morning.) While Penny is scheduled to start Tuesday, Derek Lowe's next start is being pushed back to next Saturday, and Randy Wolf—in the midst of a rehab stint—is being shelved again. In all likelihood Wolf won't pitch again this year, which is a real shocker considering his tremendous durability over the last five years. (If you've been living on Mars, Wolf hasn't played a complete season since 2003.)

While Ned Colletti spends the next day or two trying to figure out how to fuck up the team's future, Dodger fans will be preparing for the arrival of an even more offensive creature: Barry Bonds. I've been going back and forth about the timing of this. On the one hand, the thought of seeing this asshole in orange possibly break baseball's most prized record on our soil is completely nauseating. On the other hand, what better way to ruin his moment than to have 55,000 Dodger fans telling the world what a cockface he is. And what better way than this for one lucky fan to say cockface: throw the ball back. I can't imagine that anyone would actually have the balls to do it, and frankly it would take incredible stupidity as well, but we're talking about the bleachers, so you never know. I do know this, though: I'd wet my goddamn pants and put that fan on a pedestal. Or at least send them a free shirt.

July 26, 2007 - Dodgers 5, Rockies 4
Mark Hendrickson: never been healthier

Jason Schmidt is gone for the year. Hong-Chih Kuo is gone for the year. Randy Wolf is on the disabled list. Takashi Saito has been on the shelf for almost two weeks. Derek Lowe left Wednesday's game with a strained groin. Brad Penny left Thursday's game with abdominal cramps. Mark Hendrickson and Brett Tomko? In perfect shape. Go figure.

The Dodgers beat the Rockies on Thursday, 5-4, but there's definite concern about the pitching staff. The concern shouldn't be over whether the Dodgers can overcome the injuries, though. The concern should be over whether Ned Colletti is going to get sodomized by another general manager. With Hendrickson and Tomko as the Dodgers' number four and five starters (and an injury away from being number three and four), there's clearly improvement to be had. But would that improvement really carry the Dodgers past the first round of the playoffs? Doubtful. Yet you know Ned's thinking, "Hmmmm, Jamie Moyer could really help us." Hey, Ned, you know what would help the Dodgers? Keeping James Fucking Loney.

As for Penny's abdominal cramps, he blamed it on Colorado's altitude. I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with the cheeseburgers he eats for breakfast. Look, a guy doesn't get to be 290 pounds by eating sushi. I doubt he and Olmedo Saenz have much to talk about off the field, but you know damn well those two go on late-night fast-food binges. And early-morning fast-food binges. And mid-afternoon food binges. McDonalds is McDonalds whether you're at sea level or a mile high.

July 24, 2007 - Astros 7, Dodgers 4
Seanez should follow in Biggio's footsteps

Mark Hendrickson saw something on Tuesday that he isn't used to seeing as a starting pitcher: the sixth inning. He didn't have much time to get a good look at it, though, getting yanked by Grady Little after allowing the first two Astros to reach base. Leading by two runs at the time, Little turned to Rudy Seanez. And I turned away from the television. I wasn't quick enough, though, as Seanez immediately allowed a game-tying double to Morgan Ensberg. The shitbag then walked two, setting the stage for Craig Biggio.

Prior to the game, Biggio had announced that he'll be retiring after the season—something like his 63rd season with the Astros. Facing 38-year-old Rudy Seanez with the bases juiced in the sixth, Biggio crushed the first pitch into the left field seats for his fourth career grand slam. Seanez might as well have put the ball on a tee, dusted Biggio's shoes, and warned fans in left to get their gloves ready. While it was a great moment for Biggio—who was never busted for drugs, drunk driving, rape, or illegal dogfighting—it was hopefully an embarrassing moment for Rudy Seanez, who should have retired about six years ago. In his last 4-2/3 innings, Seanez has now allowed five home runs. Five! That's not good. In fact, it's pretty goddamn terrible. I know the bullpen isn't in great shape, but Rudy friggin' Seanez?? Every other night? Rudy, do everyone a favor and pack your bags for El Centro.

July 23, 2007 - Dodgers 10, Astros 2
Bullpen's newest friend: Chad Billingsley

After having used the bullpen with alarming frequency for the past, oh, month and a half, you got the feeling Grady Little was letting Chad Billingsley go nine on Monday regardless of how he pitched. It just so happened—to Little's approval—that Billingsley pitched the best game of his short career. After being blasted by the Phillies in his last start, Billingsley went the distance on Monday, giving up five hits and two runs (both runs on a 9th inning home run).

Billingsley was the beneficiary of an offensive explosion from the Dodgers. Continuing to make Ned Colletti look like a genius for firing Eddie Murray (the key word being look), the Dodgers knocked out seventeen hits and scored ten runs off of four Houston pitchers. Jeff Kent answered the comment I made yesterday by going 4-for-4, Nomar Garciaparra showed a glimmer of his old self by getting three hits, and Juan Pierre... well, he went Juan for four.

There was good news off the field for the Dodgers as well on Monday. No, Rick Monday did not lose his tongue in a tragic electric toothbrush accident. Rather, an MRI on Takashi Saito's shoulder showed no structural damage. Cleared to play by the Dodgers' prized training staff, Saito is now on his way to meet the Dodgers in Texas... where he'll likely fall to the ground in pain after making three pitches on Tuesday.

July 22, 2007 - Mets 5, Dodgers 4
A true team effort

A day after carrying the Dodgers to victory with a home run against the Mets, Matt Kemp reminded us all that he's still a rookie-or that he's just blind. His dropped fly ball in the 9th inning on Sunday allowed the Mets to tie the game at four... and an inning later it was over.

Kemp, of course, was not alone in his failures on Saturday. Other than Derek Lowe, who found himself pitching a 1-2-3 seventh inning because the Dodger bullpen is a friggin' mess, pretty much everyone else wearing the Dodger uniform had a day to forget. I wish I could forget, but I can't:

• Rudy Seanez: allowed his inherited runner to score
• Roberto Hernandez: one inning, one run
• Jonathan Broxton: two wild pitches, blown save
• Nomar Garciaparra: hits a home run early in the game, but stands at the plate motionless with the winning run on base in the tenth
• Russell Martin: 0-for-5 with three strikeouts
• DJ Houlton: one inning, three hits, takes the loss
• Juan Pierre: 0-for-4
• Jeff Kent: shows less interest in playing baseball than the Pope
• Grady Little: bats James Loney seventh in the lineup
• Olmedo Saenz: finally starting to swing like a guy who looks like him should
• Takashi Saito: not disclosing that he actually dove headfirst off a cable car after the All-Star game two weeks ago
• Mike Lieberthal: didn't play, but screw him anyway

July 21, 2007 - Dodgers 8, Mets 6
Kemp's dinger rings Mets

A day after Brett Tomko looked like Brad Penny on the mound, Brad Penny looked a lot like Brett Tomko. Penny struggled through the first few innings on Saturday, giving up four runs to the Mets. It was Penny's second start after the All-Star break, and frankly, you couldn't help but wonder whether it would be the beginning of his second-half woes. Probably not fair to doubt a guy with a 2.40 ERA just because of a couple bad innings, but what's fair got to do with it? Thankfully (especially for the weary bullpen) Penny settled down and took the Dodgers into the 7th inning. With Takashi Saito apparently still not well enough to play, Grady Little turned to Jonathan Broxton for an inning and two-thirds. Bridging the gap between Penny and Broxton was Joe Beimel. Like Roberto Hernandez a day earlier, Beimel wasn't particularly effective in that role, giving up a two-run homer to Carlos Beltran.

The Dodger offense came up big on Saturday, or at least that's what I hear. It was a little tough to follow the game since Fox cut away every time Barry Bonds blinked or farted… and every time he was about to blink or fart. Look, it's not like I need to watch every Juan Pierre at-bat (in fact, it would have been great if Bonds timed his at-bats to coincide with Pierre's), but I also don't give a flying shit about Bonds-unless he's being mauled by a lion, in which case I'd ask to be immediately notified… even if I was in the middle of having sex with Jessica Alba.

Speaking of banging, Matt Kemp did just that in the fourth inning Saturday-banging a Jorge Sosa pitch over the wall in left for a 3-run homer. That turned the game around, and the Dodgers didn't look back. Actually, one Dodger looked back: Juan Pierre. After getting nicked by a pitch in the 6th inning, he looked back at the home plate umpire to make sure he saw it. Most guys try to play off a hit-by-pitch, but Juan Pierre was all over it. Already with two hits on the day, Pierre knew his chances of a third were slim. Amazingly, Pierre has lifted his batting average to .290. Terrific, but I'd still rather have an outfield of Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, and Luis Gonzalez… and have $45 million to play with.

July 19, 2007 - Mets 13, Dodgers 9
Nineteen hits, but still a sad tune

When Derek Lowe's first pitch of the night on Thursday was hit into center by Jose Reyes, you got the feeling it would be one of those games. When the Mets went on to score six runs in the inning, you got the feeling that Wilson Betemit might be pitching by the fourth inning. Tom Glavine wasn't much better, though, and the Dodgers crept back into the game. You could look at the positive, how the Dodgers didn't give up, or you could look at the reality of it: they really fucked themselves—especially on the basepaths early.

First mistake: Down by six, the Dodgers loaded the bases in the first inning with nobody out. Luis Gonzalez singled to right, driving in two. As the runs came in, Jeff Kent lost his goddamn mind and tried to go from first to third. He's 112 years old, the Dodgers were down by four, and the Mets have good arms in the outfield. And Kent needs to be at third? He was nailed (by Shawn Green, of course), and instead of having two on and one out, the Dodgers had one on and two out.

Second mistake: The Dodgers have the bases loaded and one out in the third inning. Olmedo Saenz hits a fly ball to center. Luis Gonzalez tags and scores. Meanwhile, Nomar Garciaparra (clearly not used to being on base) decides to tag at second. He's nailed at third for the final out of the inning, and the Dodgers are done. Clearly learning nothing from the experience, Nomar did it again in the bottom of the eighth with two outs-this time making it by a hair.

You could expect rookies to make baserunning mistakes like that, but guys who've been playing for a combined 28 years? The baserunning might not have cost the Dodgers the game, but it sure as hell cost them a couple golden opportunities to make it a closer one.

To add to the frustration, of course, former Dodgers Shawn Green, Marlon Anderson, and Aaron Friggin' Sele all contributed to the Mets' victory. Green went 2 for 5 with an assist, Anderson went 2 for 5 with 2 RBI and a sliding catch, and Sele went three innings without allowing an earned run. (As a Dodger last season, how many times did Sele go at least three innings without allowing an earned run? Twice.) Making it even more painful, the Dodgers left thirteen guys on base (if you count Juan Pierre as a guy).

Despite all the action on the field Thursday night, Vin Scully still found time in the fifth inning to share an important thought: "It's interesting how some James are Jimmy or Jim, and some James are James." Yes, Vinny, quite interesting. Thanks for that. Too bad you couldn't have just reached through the TV screen and punched me in the face instead.

July 18, 2007 - Dodgers 5, Phillies 4
Chad bad, but Dodgers win

With the Dodgers' pitching staff tired, it was kind of Chad Billingsley to throw a career high 113 pitches. The problem, however, was that his 113 pitches only took him through the fifth inning. For the final four innings, Grady Little turned to a quartet of tired relievers. On this day, the four were actually effective. Rudy Seanez, Joe Beimel, Jonathan Broxton, and Takashi Saito combined to shut down the Phillies, and the Dodgers came from behind to win, 5-4. Saito made things interesting in the ninth when he missed the call for a pitch-out and came within inches of hitting home plate umpire Mark Wegner square in the nuts. No harm was done, though, and Saito hung on for his 25th save.

Andre Ethier and Luis Gonzalez each had key home runs, which was nice considering that they're boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, maybe not in a Paul Shuey/Tom Martin kind of way, but they're definitely in love. Gonzalez played for Arizona when Ethier was at ASU, and they both followed each other's careers. A little weird for a major leaguer to keep up on what a random guy in college is doing, isn't it? Whatever, if their special relationship helps the Dodgers win, great.

Speaking of relationships, there might be a new one brewing in the Dodger bullpen. Forty-two-year-old Roberto Hernandez was called up by the Dodgers on Wednesday. He and Rudy Seanez should have a lot to talk about. The Dodgers are Hernandez's 10th team, and Seanez, of course, has been on about forty-five.

July 15, 2007 - Dodgers 5, Giants 3
Dodgers sweep; Tomko on top of the world

For most pitchers, giving up a run over five innings isn't anything terribly special. For Brett Tomko, however, it was an achievement he'll be someday be sharing with his grandchildren. "Grandkids," Brett will say, "Jump up here on my lap. I want to tell you a story about a game your Grandfather started for the Dodgers in the year two-thousand and seven. Boy, was it a game. I didn't give up one home run, or even walk in a run. I didn't throw a wild pitch, and two of the three runs weren't even earned. That grumpy guy with the moustache made an error." The grandchildren will be in awe until one checks online and sees that their grandfather actually had an ERA of almost six at the time and was only pitching because the team was afraid to let him come out of the bullpen.

Along with four scoreless innings of relief from Eric Stults, Joe Beimel, Jonathan Broxton, and Takashi Saito (which was refreshing considering the collapse a day earlier), Tomko's work on Sunday helped earn the Dodgers a series sweep—their third consecutive sweep in San Francisco. As with Saturday's game, the Dodgers screwed with the heads of Giants fans on Sunday. The Giants took a first-inning lead, and after the Dodgers regained the lead in the fourth, the Giants tied it in the fifth. Rafael Furcal's sixth-inning triple shut the San Francisco fans up for good, however, and the Dodgers went on to a 5-3 victory.

Continuing to impress, Matt Kemp and Russell Martin each had three hits. Continuing to disappoint, Nomar Garciaparra went 0-for-5. The umpires didn't help his cause by taking away a double that seemed to hit the foul line, but Nomar looks nothing like the Nomar of the past. In fact, Nomar doesn't even look anything like the Tripp Cromer of the past. If Nomar was down in the dumps on Sunday, he certainly had company. Barry Bonds went hitless as well, making him 0-for-12 in the series with three strikeouts and three double plays. Gee, it would sure be a shame to see Bonds go 0 for his next 470 at-bats.

July 13, 2007 - Dodgers 9, Giants 1
A Barry good night for Dodgers

The only thing San Francisco Giants fans hate more than the Dodgers is losing to the Dodgers. For the ninth game in a row on Friday night, the Giants did just that—lose to the Dodgers at home. As a Dodger fan, is there anything sweeter? The fact that the Giants are ten games out of first and ten years older than any other team in baseball does nothing to diminish the sweetness.

Not only did Barry Bonds make no progress toward his seldom-mentioned pursuit of the home run record, he grounded into two double-plays. The first was induced by Chad Billingsley (who pitched six shutout innings) and the second by Jonathan Broxton—with Bonds representing the tying run in the eighth inning. Personally, I'd puke my brains out if Bonds hit 755 or 756 against the Dodgers. It'll be upsetting enough just to see him pass Aaron; to see him do it against the Dodgers would be seeing Adolf Hitler fuck Jessica Alba in your bedroom.

Considering the way the Dodgers ended the first half of the season, the victory on Friday was an important one—especially since Brett Tomko pitches on Sunday. James Loney, Russell Martin, and Andre Ethier each had three hits, and Rafael Furcal and Juan Pierre each had two. The game was in reach for the Giants until the top of the ninth, when seven consecutive Dodger hits (most of which looked like they were thrown into the outfield by your grandma) brought in half a dozen runs. Things got so good for the Dodgers, even Nomar Garciaparra got a base hit. Friday the 13th craziness, I tell ya.

July 10, 2007 - AL 5, NL 4
All-Star game, or Dodger game?

The hour-long Willie Mays tribute notwithstanding, Tuesday's All-Star game had all the makings of a typical Dodger game. The National League left nine guys on base (including the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth), they displayed no power until it was too late, there was an inside-the-park home run on a ball misplayed by the outfield, and there were plenty of boos from Giants fans (directed, of course, at the Dodgers).

The American League victory gives them ten consecutive All-Star wins, a streak of National League futility that's truly LA-like. Only you can't really blame it on the Dodgers. From my quick calculations, they've had only thirteen All-Star at-bats over the past decade, going 3-for-13.

On Tuesday, the Dodgers were quiet once again. Russell Martin went 0-for-3 with a strikeout, and Brad Penny and Takashi Saito each threw a scoreless inning. Announcers Tim McCarver and Joe Buck focused on Martin's dad and Saito's age, saying nothing about how Penny had slimmed down to a taut 260. At least Penny didn't break an elbow, which I was totally prepared for. (Yeah, yeah, don't end a sentence with a preposition. Eat me.)

July 8, 2007 - Dodgers 9, Marlins 3
A tall order, but Hendrickson wins

It was a big day for Dodger fans on Sunday, as a trip to the ballpark meant getting to see Mark Hendrickson, Eric Stults, and Ramon Martinez. Believe it or not, though, all three actually contributed to the Dodgers' 9-3 win over Florida. In danger of going into the All-Star break on a five-game skid, the Dodgers now go into the break only losing four out of five. Now they can go home to their families with their heads held high.

All kidding aside, though, the Dodgers can at least rest assured that they've sent a message to Ned Colletti about the value of the team's youth. Home runs by Russell Martin and Andre Ethier propelled the Dodgers on Sunday, capping an impressive first half of the season for the current crop of prospects. It's no secret that the Dodgers need pitching help, and it's no secret that Colletti has a thing for aging veterans, but hopefully he'll realize the inevitable mistake in sacrificing the team's future for someone who might leave via free agency after the season. Sure, it's Los Angeles, so you've got to win now... but how many times has that been said over the last fifteen years, and how many times have they actually won? Frankly, if the Dodgers don't make the playoffs this season because they failed to pull off a big trade, fine by me. I want to go to the stadium next year and see guys like Matt Kemp, James Loney, Tony Abreu, Jonathan Broxton, Chad Billingsley, Adam Laroche, Martin, and Ethier. The Dodgers picked up one of the greatest pitchers in history last season, and where the hell did it get them? That's not to say Maddux didn't help them—it's just that one guy (or two, if you count that waste of skin Julio Lugo) rarely makes the difference.

Meanwhile, there's some sad news to report. In order to make space on the roster for Ramon Martinez, the Dodgers have optioned reliever D.J. Houlton to triple-A Las Vegas. Houlton fans shouldn't pout, though, as DJ figures to be back sometime in the middle of the 2009 season.

July 6, 2007 - Marlins 6, Dodgers 5
How about a nice kick in the nuts instead?

As fans walked into Dodger Stadium on Friday night, they should have been given a choice: Either sit down and enjoy three and a half hours of frustration, or take a quick kick to the groin and get on with your life. Unfortunately they weren't given the choice—they were given a Rafael Furcal bobblehead.

On this night, the bobblehead probably could have done a better job managing than Grady Little. The Dodgers were out of position players in the ninth inning, and the bullpen was depleted by the tenth. Standing in the on-deck circle representing the winning run in the tenth was Brad Penny. Unfortunately, Penny didn't get a chance to bat, as Juan for Six popped out with the bases loaded to end the game. Frustrating, but was it any more frustrating than watching a blind umpire take away a run from the Dodgers because he didn't see a pitch hit Matt Kemp in the foot? More frustrating than watching Andre Ethier ground into more double-plays than Eric Karros? More frustrating than seeing Takashi Saito blow a save after the Dodgers had ninety-nine straight victories at home when leading after eight innings? More frustrating than seeing the bottom half of the lineup go 0-for-14? More frustrating than seeing the Dodgers leave a dozen guys on base? More frustrating than seeing two great plays by Furcal go for naught? More frustrating than watching Brett Tomko walk the leadoff man in the tenth inning? More frustrating than knowing that the Dodgers had a chance to gain ground on practically everyone in the West?

That game sucked donkey dick. Is the season over yet?

July 5, 2007 - Braves 8, Dodgers 6
Penny to hit cleanup for All-Stars

What Brad Penny didn't do on the mound Thursday night, he did at the plate. His three RBIs weren't enough, though, as Atlanta knocked off the Dodgers, 8-6. On the mound, Penny lasted only four innings—probably two more than he would have if the Dodger bullpen was rested. He gave up six runs, nine hits, and walked four. Tim Hudson was no better for the Braves, but Chipper Jones' two homers were the difference. The homers put Chipper ahead of Braves legend Dale Murphy on Atlanta's all-time home run list. For those who are too young to remember, Dale Murphy had a huge mole on the right side of his face. Just thought I'd point that out.

Here's another thing to point out: the fucking Dodgers left eleven guys on base. They had Juan Pierre on third with nobody out in the fourth inning. Left him. They had the bases loaded in the fifth. Left 'em loaded. They had two guys on in the sixth. Left 'em both. Meanwhile, someone left the iron just beyond centerfield, as smoke from a house fire drifted into the stadium. Too bad the smoke didn't stick around long enough to obscure my view of the Dodgers going down on four pitches in the ninth inning. It almost takes less time to say Saltalamacchia than it does for the Dodgers to throw in the towel.

If anything good came out of Thursday's game, it's that Brett Tomko didn't pitch. Tomko, who gave up three runs on Wednesday, has been so bad out of the bullpen that the Dodgers are considering putting him back in the starting rotation. With Randy Wolf and Hong-Chih Kuo on the DL, the Dodger rotation is hurting for bodies. Frankly, I'd rather see a dead body on the mound than Brett Tomko. Speaking of dead bodies, Joe Beimel is still alive. Beimel was hospitalized on Tuesday for heart palpitations, but was released on Thursday. Doctors were initially unable to find the cause of his palpitations, but ultimately determined that he was just excited to see fireworks.

July 3, 2007 - Dodgers 7, Braves 6
Revenge, but reversed for once

As a Dodger fan, you grow accustomed to watching mediocre former Dodgers come back to haunt their old team. It happened with Jeromy Burnitz, it happens with Craig Counsell, and it happens with Jose Cruz, Jr. Last month, it even happened with Dioner Navarro and Edwin Jackson—on consecutive nights.

Tuesday, however, a freakish thing happened. A mediocre Dodger had a great night against his former team. Wilson Betemit—the Adrian Beltre of the Braves (except that he never had a breakout season)—led the Dodgers to a 7-6 victory over Atlanta. Starting in place of Nomar Garciaparra, Betemit had a single, double, and home run. He drove in four, and surely drove Braves fans mad. With Barry Bonds just four homers away from Hank Aaron, Braves fans are already on edge; now with the Betemit game they're probably ready to jump from... uh... actually, I know nothing about Atlanta. I have no idea where they'd jump from.

The victory was also a big one for the Dodger bullpen, which followed Randy Wolf's early departure by pitching six scoreless innings. D.J. Houlton pitched three, with Rudy Seanez, Jonathan Broxton, and Takashi Saito combining for the final three. Matt Kemp came up with the tie-breaking hit in the seventh inning—a two-out base hit to center—and will probably be rewarded by sitting on the bench Wednesday. Can we just get it over with and make him the starting right fielder? Andre Ethier can play left when Luis Gonzalez gets injured in a few weeks, but until then, it's Kemp time. And time for me to update the friggin' Fan of the Month.

July 1, 2007 - Dodgers 5, Padres 0
Dodgers salvage one from San Diego

After losing to the Padres on Friday and Saturday, the Dodgers saved face on Sunday by shutting down San Diego, 5-0. Matt Kemp and Rafael Furcal each homered, Russell Martin extended his hitting streak to a career-high 11 games, and Juan for Three stole his fifth base of the series.

The game was won on the mound, though, as Chad Billingsley threw seven strong innings, giving up just three hits and striking out nine. (To be fair, though, three of the strikeouts were of Russell Branyan, whose average has been hovering around the Betemit line.) Nonetheless, it was nice to finally see Billingsley have a game like that.

Meanwhile, National League All-Star selections were announced on Sunday, and I'm sad to report that Marlon Anderson wasn't chosen. I suppose that's a good thing, though, since he's no longer a Dodger. Among the other moves the Dodgers made over the weekend, Hong-Chih Kuo returns to Las Vegas, Mark Hendrickson returns to the starting rotation, and the biggest move of all: D.J. Houlton returns to the Major Leagues.

News of Houlton's recall spread quickly across Los Angeles on Saturday, with Channels 4, 7, and 11 breaking into their regularly scheduled programming to announce the move. Reporters descended on the airport, each hoping to be the first to interview Houlton as he stepped off the plane. Avoiding the media, however, the 27-year-old pitcher (who's really 47, by the way), was hurried into a limo on the runway and whisked off to the stadium. Making his first appearance for the Dodgers since 2005, Houlton pitched a scoreless ninth on Sunday. Grown men were crying, teenage girls were fainting, and cotton candy vendors paused to absorb the enormity of the moment. The DJ spins again.