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> JUNE 2009 June 30, 2009 - Rockies 3, Dodgers 0
June 28, 2009 - Mariners 4, Dodgers 2
On Saturday, the Dodgers got just five hits; on Sunday, same story. Beyond the two runs they pushed across in the fifth inning, the Dodgers tiptoed through the game, never really looking like they had any interest in being out in the 90 degree sun. The second, third, fourth, and fifth spots in the lineup went a combined 0-for-18, and Hiroki Kuroda allowed four runs on eight hits. Adrian Beltre, meanwhile, knocked in a run for the Mariners and made two great plays at third. More importantly, rumor has it that Ronald Belisario got a Bluetooth headset. June 26, 2009 - Dodgers 8, Mariners 2
This was clearly Ethier’s game, but Clayton Kershaw should probably get a little love as well. Kershaw went six, giving up two runs and striking out eight. The win puts the Dodgers back to being eight games ahead of the Giants, who lost on Friday. I’m not exactly sure what business the Giants have being six games over .500, but all it would take is a lousy week for the Dodgers’ seemingly comfortable lead in the West to disappear. No need to worry, though, because a certain someone appears to be on the way back. I’m talking about Jason Schmidt, of course. Believe it or not, Schmidt pitched 7-2/3 scoreless innings on Friday at Triple-A—and, as of the moment, has yet to collapse in pain. (He must be saving that for the night in late July when he returns to the Dodgers... for about 10 minutes.) June 24, 2009 - White Sox 10, Dodgers 7
Wolf isn’t alone, however, on the list of self-loathing Dodger pitchers. Cory Wade pitched an inning, giving up two home runs, and James McDonald gave up another—the second of the day to Josh Fields, a guy who entered the game 0 for his last 16. If you’re counting at home, that’s six home runs for the White Sox. If you’re counting somewhere other than home, it’s still six home runs for the White Sox. Wednesday also brought some good news for the Dodgers. Claudio Vargas, on the DL all season, appears to be healed from his shoulder injury. (If you’re perceptive enough to ask, "What shoulder injury," you’re right—he doesn’t have a shoulder injury. It’s actually his elbow. But if you knew that you either spend way too much time following the career of Claudio Vargas, or you’re actually Claudio Vargas.) June 21, 2009 - Dodgers 5, Angels 3
Juan Pierre had a pair of run-scoring doubles (one that even went over the left fielder who, to be perfectly honet, was positioned about twenty feet beyond the infield dirt), James Loney hit a two-run homer, and Casey Blake had an RBI infield single. The Dodgers were up 5-1 entering the ninth, but Jonathan Broxton made it interesting for the second night in a row. After grooving a couple of 0-2 pitches and watching the Angels score two, Broxton found himself facing the potential tying run in Mike Napoli. The Angels catcher grounded out to third, however, and the Dodgers escaped the O.C. having won two of three. And for many Dodger fans, Sunday’s game was extra special as fathers and sons had the opportunity to join together in cursing Joe Morgan. June 19, 2009 - Angels 5 , Dodgers 4
I don’t know, maybe it all wouldn’t bother me so much if the Dodgers had just won and sent 40,000 disappointed people back to their homes in Buena Park, Tustin, and Yorba Linda. The Dodgers really had no excuse to lose. They had a three-run lead in the sixth, (which Chad Billingsley blew), they had a couple great plays from Casey Blake, and they had countless chances to break the game open. They left the bases loaded in the third and eighth innings, and left two on in the ninth when Matt Kemp struck out to end the game. Now, the attention turns to Saturday’s matchup: Weaver vs. Weaver... or, as an Angels broadcaster might say, Weaver vs. Weavy. June 18, 2009 - Dodgers 3, Athletics 2
Brent Leach certainly isn’t complaining, as he faced two batters and was the pitcher of record when Mark Loretta knocked in James Loney in the bottom of the seventh. The win puts the Dodgers nine games ahead of the Giants and somehow improves their record to 44-23 despite having averaged just four runs a game over their last nine wins. Lastly, I’d just like to officially say goodbye to Jason Repko. While technically he’s still on the Triple-A team, the Dodgers have given Mitch Jones the #17 uniform that Repko has dirtied (albeit infrequently) over the last four seasons. The Dodgers have recalled fourteen players from the minors this season, and Repko’s still in Albuquerque. I’m not saying the Dodgers should recall him, but shouldn’t they just release the poor guy already? At least give him a chance to hook up with the Royals or something. June 16, 2009 - Dodgers 5, Athletics 4
While those 41,000 fans were busy buying Dodger Dogs, beer, and leftover Jamie Hoffman jerseys, the Dodgers and A’s stayed scoreless through five innings. Clayton Kershaw came out in the sixth, having walked three and struck out eight, but Ronald Belisario picked up nicely for him. The Dodgers finally pushed across two runs in the bottom of the sixth on a single and two doubles. Things went terribly wrong for Ramon Troncoso in the eighth, though. Moments after Vin Scully made a point of mentioning how many home runs Troncoso had allowed this season (zero), he allowed two—one a three-run shot. Down by two, the Dodgers fought back in the bottom of the inning, tying the game with two singles, a walk, a double, and a fielder’s choice. In the tenth, the A’s decided to get on board with the whole charity thing. After a leadoff single by Orlando Hudson, the other Orlando on the field (Cabrera) bobbled Casey Blake’s ground ball, and the Dodgers were in business. Two outs later—and after the reversal of a call at first base—Matt Kemp drove one through the right side, scoring Hudson and giving the Dodgers another walk-off victory. Exciting, but I’ll end with this: Russell Martin went 0-for-4 and in an at-bat 10 years in the making, Mitch Jones struck out. June 14, 2009 - Dodgers 6, Rangers 3
I was annoyed when he showed up fat to spring training last year. I was angry that he didn’t get into shape by April or May. I resented the fact that he didn’t seem to care about struggling. And I disliked him for taking Dodger fans’ money and giving back nothing in return. It wasn’t until this weekend, though, that I can say I truly hate the man. After his comments about not getting respect from Frank McCourt, his home run on Saturday, and his base hit and homer on Sunday, I’d like to shove a hockey stick up his fucking ass. And since the Dodgers are technically still his employer, shouldn’t they be able to arrange that? On Sunday, Jones’ base hit in the first inning led to two runs, and his home run in the fourth off Chad Billingsley got the Rangers to within a run of the Dodgers. God bless Jonathan Broxton for striking Jones out on three pitches in the ninth—one of three strikeouts Broxton had in picking up his 16th save of the year. The Dodgers finally got a solid performance from a starter, with Chad Billingsley working into the eighth inning before he was pulled. Casey Blake, obviously feeling at home in a state where there are a lot of lumberjacks, led the Dodgers’ offense by knocking in four of the team’s six runs. June 12, 2009 - Rangers 6, Dodgers 0
Kuroda gave up five runs—four earned—in 5+ innings, allowing four singles, two doubles, a triple, and a home run. The Dodgers offense watched jealously, as they came up empty inning after inning. Texas starter Vicente Padilla, who hadn’t won in more than a month, allowed just four hits, and two relievers combined to finish off the floundering Dodgers. June 9, 2009 - Dodgers 6, Padres 4
Thankfully for the Dodgers, the stadium grounds crew found a way to secretly move in the outfield walls before the bottom of each inning. The Dodgers, who rank 26th in the majors in home runs, actually hit four—two from Andre Ethier, and one each from Orlando Hudson and Matt Kemp. Partial credit goes to my intoxicated wife, who called Hudson’s shot and Ethier’s second one. She should have kept drinking, though, because once she sobered up her predictions became absurd: a James Loney triple, a Mark Loretta double, and a Juan Pierre single (none of which happened, obviously). Here’s a prediction of my own: We’re eating canned peaches for dinner the rest of the week because we just spent $75 on alcohol. Speaking of canned peaches (or anything else that’s edible), Jonathan Broxton picked up his 14th save with a not-so-smooth ninth inning. With the tying run at the plate after a walk and a single, Broxton struck out Brian Giles to end the game. The victory puts the Dodgers at 40-20, which assures them of having a winning record when Manny returns… even if they lose the next nineteen games. June 7, 2009 - Phillies 7, Dodgers 2
Combine a lousy start with a struggling Dodgers offense (yes, struggling—they’ve scored two runs or fewer in 7 of their last 11 games), and you end up with a Phillies victory. The Dodgers weren’t without opportunities, but they failed to capitalize on them. They left two on in the 4th, and then blew a chance in the 6th when Matt Kemp grounded into a double play (bad call or not). To cap the fun, Chan Ho Park—who entered the game with a hot 7.32 ERA—threw three scoreless innings in relief of Antonio Bastardo (no comment), limiting the Dodgers to just a hit. June 4, 2009 - Phillies 3, Dodgers 0
The Dodger offense, meanwhile, produced just five hits—all in different innings. Rafael Furcal and Russell Martin each went hitless, leaving me to wonder if they’re having a competition to see who can be the first to drop under .200. If Martin ends up that low, it wouldn’t be for lack of an afro—the growth of which seems to be inversely proportionate to the decline of his career. Good thing for me I can always live in the past. While the Dodgers struggled on the field, I sat above third base reminiscing with friends about who wore certain uniform numbers (8, for instance, was worn by the likes of Greg Gagne, Mark Grudzielanek, and Ron Coomer), who went 0-for-28 in 1991 before he was traded (Jose Gonzalez), and who the Dodgers dealt for Kevin Tapani and Mark Guthrie (turns out it was Ron Coomer again, among others). I can’t remember what I did yesterday, but I know that Charlie Hough replaced Glenn Gregson as pitching coach in 1998. Fucking awesome. June 2, 2009 - Dodgers 6, Diamondbacks 5
I re-joined the game as Rafael Furcal walked to load the bases with two outs in the eighth. Orlando Hudson walked to force in a run, and then James Loney came to bat with the tying runs on base. Not about to fall for their tease, though, I grabbed the remote and readied myself to turn off the TV once Loney grounded to first. Only he didn’t. He smoked one to the gap in right-center, just out of Justin Upton’s reach, and suddenly the game was tied—at least momentarily. A wild pitch sent Loney to third, and a clutch single by The Beard put the Dodgers ahead, 6-5. Jonathan Broxton set the Diamondbacks down in the ninth for his 12th save, and the Dodgers avoided what would have been their fourth loss in five games. More importantly, I still had time for porn. June 1, 2009 - Diamondbacks 3, Dodgers 2
The first three wild pitches came in the seventh inning—all from Cory Wade. Despite two walks on top of those wild pitches, though, Wade emerged unscathed. The same couldn’t be said for Brent Leach, who apparently hadn’t coated his body with enough rosin prior to each blink of his eye. Leach gave up a single to Gerardo Parra, wild pitching him to second... and then to third. Parra then scored on a groundout, making it 3-0 Arizona. Only in the ninth did the Dodgers’ offense—which had twice wasted leadoff doubles—finally awaken. After J. Martin struck out to start the inning, L. Ethier singled (I think his fifth hit since Manny left), Matt Kemp reached on an error, and Rafael Furcal singled in Ethier. Jamie Hoffman flew to left for the second out, bringing up Juan Pierre. Earning at least $500 of his $9 million salary, Pierre lined one over short, driving in Kemp. With the tying run at third, and all 2,500 people who were left at the stadium on their feet, Mark Loretta flew out to left to end it. For the record, that’s the Dodgers’ third loss in the last four games—and they’ve scored a total of five runs in those losses. I should point out two important things about Monday’s loss, though. First, it marked the return of Hiroki Kuroda, who went five innings, striking out six and walking three. Second, there is a porn star in Arizona’s bullpen. His name is Clay Zavada, and his moustache probably smells like a combination of dirty vagina, tobacco, and huevos rancheros. |
The best thing about Tuesday night’s Dodger game was its length: two hours and fifteen minutes—short enough that Dodger fans can pretend like it never happened. I’ll start pretending in a few minutes, right after I go get an In-n-Out shake to make me feel better. Maybe two, actually—one for each hit the Dodgers got on Tuesday. James Loney singled in the second inning and Juan Castro in the eighth. Despite those two rallies and 11 strikeouts from Chad Billingsley, the Dodgers lost to the Rockies, 3-0. Jason Marquis didn’t allow a Dodger to reach second base, and helped his own cause by driving home two runs in the seventh. (Of course, it helped that he hit the ball to Juan Pierre, who looked like he was fielding and throwing home for the first time in his life. Seriously, it takes three seconds to transfer the goddamn ball from your glove to your hand and toss it toward the plate?)
While Manny Ramirez is back in Southern California, someone may want to let the Dodgers know that he’s not actually back in their lineup yet. For a week now, the Dodgers have looked like they’re waiting for someone else to deliver the energy, the inspiration, and the big hit. Facing two very mediocre teams, they’ve lost 4 of 6, and are lucky to still find themselves seven games in front of the San Francisco Giants.
Andre Ethier has accomplished a lot in his short major league career, but only when you’re mentioned in the same breath as Hee Seop Choi do you really know you’ve made it. In the midst of his final season with the Dodgers, Choi homered three times in a game. No Dodger had done it since—until Friday night. Ethier homered to right center in the second inning, right field in the sixth, and then deep into the visitors bullpen in the eighth. The three home runs give him fourteen for the year, and if you listened to Vinny for even three seconds on Friday, you’d know that all but one of them have come at Dodger Stadium.
Sometimes a guy has a lousy start but talks after the game about how he had good stuff and his location was off. Or how the other team just hit good pitches. Or how balls were just finding their way into the outfield. Not Randy Wolf—at least not on Wednesday. After giving up three home runs in 3+ innings against the Chicago White Sox, Wolf put it this way: "I stunk." He continued: "It’s virtually impossible to look at yourself in the mirror and think you’re going to get big league hitters out when you’re hitting your spot 30 percent of the time." He wasn’t done: "Frankly, I’m embarrassed with the way I pitched." And finally: "When you’re awful, you deserve to get your teeth kicked in." While the team dentist won’t be particularly happy to hear that, it’s certainly nice to see that Wolf hates himself, since I hate him too.
On Saturday night, the impossible happened: Russell Martin hit a home run. But just when you thought it couldn’t get any crazier, Clayton Kershaw took the mound on Sunday… and stayed on it through the seventh inning. Actually, I’m not even sure Kershaw knew that baseball games could have more than five innings. Kershaw walked four, struck out five, and didn’t allow a run. His biggest challenge came in the fifth when he worked out of a bases loaded, nobody out jam.
I’m all for being passionate and intense, but didn’t Friday night’s game in Anaheim seem like a little much? From the Angels fans who clearly thought this was the seventh game of the World Series to the Angels broadcasters who orgasmed about twice an inning, I spent most of the nine innings nauseous and angry. It didn’t help to hear Chone Figgins, Macier Izturis, and Vladimir Guerrero be referred to as Figgy, Izzy, and Vlady. Jesus Christ, if you’re so in love, why not just go down on the field and have sex with them?
Under the heading of "Are you F’ing kidding me," add Juan Pierre’s play in the seventh inning Thursday night. With Rajai Davis on first and the Dodgers up by a run, Nomar Garciaparra hit a looping single to left. As Davis cruised around to third, Pierre picked up the ball, looked toward Davis, and then lobbed the ball toward second base. Davis didn’t stop, and easily scored the tying run. From first base. On a single to left field. First of all, I don’t care if a goddamn cheetah is on the bases—it shouldn’t score from first on a single to left. Second, didn’t Juan Pierre play on the same goddamn team with Nomar Garciaparra for two years? Did he ever watch him run? I don’t think the guy is sneaking into second on a base hit. Third, I don’t care where Rafael Furcal may have been telling Pierre to throw the ball—Pierre has the whole play in front of him. Know the situation, know who’s on base, know the score, and throw the ball to the right place. I know he’s not going to throw a bullet to home plate, but he didn’t need to. If the ball went in anywhere near third base, Davis isn’t coming home, Nomar isn’t going to second, and Randy Wolf gets a fucking win for once. In fifteen starts this season, Wolf has ten no-decisions.
Forty-one thousand people watched the Dodgers beat the A’s on Tuesday night at Dodger Stadium, although I'm guessing that only about 3,000 of them had tickets before the Dodgers came up with their "free parking" promotion. Oh, sorry, did I say promotion? I meant to say that Frank McCourt decided to give fans free parking this week out of the goodness of his heart. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that no one in the city wanted to attend a mid-week game against Oakland. Nothing at all.
In my thirty-four years on this planet, I’ve never had a shortage of people to despise. There was my first little league coach, who made me hit righty despite being a lefty. There was my tenth grade English teacher who firmly believed that we lived in medieval times. There are City of LA parking enforcement officers, there are the people who don’t pull completely into the left turn lane, there are the people who call everyone boss, chief, captain, or sport, and there’s Oprah. As much as I hate all of these people, though, I can confidently say that there’s one person who I hate the most: Andruw Jones.
If there’s anything positive to take from Friday night’s loss to the Texas Rangers, it’s that Andruw Jones didn’t play. I don’t know if I can stomach that son-of-a-bitch coming to the plate against the Dodgers… with runners on base… ninth inning… one-run game. It’s bound to happen one of these days, although probably not for awhile if the Dodgers continue to play like they did on Friday. When your starting pitcher gets rocked and you don’t score any runs, you typically don’t have to worry about any ninth inning drama.
After facing the World Champion Phillies over the weekend, the Dodgers had an opportunity to relax a little on Monday, knowing they were facing the slightly less formidable Padres on Tuesday night. Maybe Chad Billingsley relaxed a little too much. Billingsley gave up two runs in the first inning and was in constant trouble over the five and two-thirds innings he pitched.
Dodger fans who were committed enough to stick around on Friday night and Saturday afternoon were treated to heroics from Rafael Furcal and Andre Ethier, as the Dodgers rallied to beat Philadelphia both days. Dodger fans who were committed enough to stick around on Sunday evening were… well… treated to Travis Schlichting’s major league debut. And I must say, he was pretty schlitty. Schlichting gave up a home run to the first batter he faced (Ryan Howard) and then walked the bases full an inning later. None of it mattered, though, since Randy Wolf had already pitched six and a third crappy innings—long enough for the damage to be done.
Well, at least there was one home team scoring tonight in Downtown LA. While the Lakers beat the crap out of Orlando, the Dodgers barely showed a heartbeat against the Philadelphia Phillies, losing 3-0. Cole Hamels, who entered the game with an ERA of more than 5.00, threw a complete game shutout, walking none and making just 97 pitches. Clayton Kershaw had another underwhelming start, lasting until just the sixth inning.
Typically, I’m either in or out. I either watch a game or I don’t. Nine innings or nothing. Ok, you get the point. On Tuesday night, however, two innings was enough. Randy Wolf was on pace to give up about twenty-five runs, Danny Haren seemed on his game, and frankly, I had other shit to do… that is, until about 9:30 when I couldn’t take anymore and turned on the TV. Part of me expected to have missed a miraculous fifth-inning comeback, part of me expected the Diamondbacks to be up 14-3, and part of me strongly considered turning on porn instead. Turns out the happy ending was on Channel 9.
Well, that figured. The Arizona Diamondbacks beat the Dodgers by a run on Monday—a run that came from the final two of five wild pitches by Dodgers relievers. The eighth inning run didn’t look like much at the time, with the Diamondbacks already up 2-0 and the Dodgers comatose at the plate, but leave it to the Dodgers to eventually make the wild run count.