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> SEPTEMBER 2006 September 30, 2006 - Dodgers 4, Giants 2 October bound Greg Maddux earned the victory on Saturday, pitching seven innings of three-hit ball. Since he made only seventy-one pitches, maybe he can start Sunday instead of Eric Stults. Takashi Saito earned his 24th save, although we're still waiting for him to grow a goatee. Meanwhile, Julio Lugo finally contributed, driving in two of the Dodgers' four runs. We'll happily take the credit for that, having made Grady Little Asshole of the Moment on Friday for keeping Lugo in the lineup despite his anemic numbers. Saturday's victory was extra sweet, of course, because it came on the Giants' home turf. You know that Giants fans were just living for this weekend... which really means that they have absolutely nothing to live for anymore. Such a shame. September
29, 2006 -
Dodgers 4, Giants 3 For six innings, it didn't look too good for the Dodgers. They had only two hits off Noah Lowry and Hong-Chih Kuo had given up three runs—the last two coming in the fifth after J.D. Drew and Kenny Lofton misplayed a couple of fly balls. Drew redeemed himself an inning later, though, taking Lowry over the wall in right to pull the Dodgers to within one. While you can certainly question Grady Little's moves in the ninth (pinch-hitting for Marlon Anderson but not pinch-hitting for Julio Lugo?), you can't argue with the result: two runs off of Mike Stanton to give the Dodgers the lead. Of course, what's a Giant-Dodger game without a little drama in the bottom of the ninth? Takashi Saito got the first out, but then Steve Finley stepped to the plate—probably sent by the baseball Gods just to fuck with Dodger fans. Older, a little weaker, and wearing the uniform of the team he destroyed two years ago, Finley singled to center. Fine, only a single. But suddenly Finley was at third. And the winning run was at second. Finley's going to score the goddamn tying run, we thought. Then he'll get up again in the 12th inning and win the game with a home run into the river, or whatever the hell that water is behind the stadium. Just as we were preparing ourselves for the worst, though, the best happened: Saito struck out Mark Sweeney and the Dodgers moved into a tie for first place. September
28, 2006 -
Dodgers 19, Rockies 11 1. Is it safe yet to call Brad Penny the Dodgers' #5 starter? 2. Does Grady Little realize that there are only three games left in the season? It took six hits and a walk before he pulled Chad Billingsley in the fourth inning. Sure, it's not exactly like you've got a wealth of arms in the pen, but when you're fighting for the postseason and your pitcher's taking punches, you yank the kid. 3. Could we have been wrong about James Loney? Honestly, we didn't think he'd have nine RBIs in his entire career, let alone in a stretch of seven innings. He's still a little odd looking, though. 4. How long before Rockies' reliever Jeremy Affeldt kills himself? In the 6th inning, he walked Mark Hendrickson on five pitches. That's like standing over the bathtub to piss in the drain and pissing in your own mouth instead. How can you throw a ball to Mark Hendrickson? 5. Mike Venafro isn't working at a gas station yet? The former Dodger pitched an inning, immediately giving up two run-scoring singles. Then he did something that we never saw him do when he was a Dodger—he got an out. Actually, he got three of them. 6. Is there something about Vinny Castilla that we're missing? Yeah, he hit a lot of home runs in Colorado, but so did Dante friggin' Bichette. Tears over Vinny Castilla? Must suck to be a Rockies' fan. 7. Is there something wrong with Toby Hall and Einar Diaz that we don't know about? Did the equipment manager leave their catcher's mitts in L.A.? The Dodgers were up by eight runs in the 9th inning, and up to the plate walks Russell Martin. We're talking about a guy who's caught every inning of every game for, oh, about four months. Is Grady Little waiting for Martin's fucking knees to just catch fire? Christ, man, let the dude sit for 20 minutes. 8. How's it possible for a guy who's 5'-11" and had never hit more than a handful of home runs in a season to not only hit 7 home runs in 60 at-bats, but to hit them with Barry Bonds-like uumph? Kim Ng may have to share an office with surplus Steve Garvey bobbleheads, but she should be proud of arranging the Marlon Anderson deal. (Now that we say that, of course, Anderson will probably go hitless in San Francisco and drop a fly ball to cost the Dodgers the season. And Ng will convince Ned Colletti to give Brett Tomko a contract extension. September
27, 2006 -
Dodgers 6, Rockies 4 Wednesday, it took a late-inning comeback and some solid relief pitching from JonaTON BroxTON and Takashi Saito. The comeback was keyed by Andre Ethier's seventh inning pinch-hit single, just his second hit in his last thirty at-bats. A month and a half ago, Ethier was everyone's choice for Rookie of the Year. But then something happened: pitchers adjusted and Andre didn't. His average plummeted along with his playing time, and now he spends the majority of games comparing cuticles with Ramon Martinez. Wednesday, however, was his night. Everything is falling right into place for the Dodgers... so that the goddamn Giants can ruin their season. The Dodgers can't clinch anything before their weekend series up north, nor can they be eliminated before then. So, one way of the other, it's going to happen in San Francisco. After Steve Finley's home run in 2004 that put the nail in the Giants' coffin, there's nothing San Francisco would like more than to return the favor this year... especially if Finley is the man to do it. Orange and black bastards. September
26, 2006 -
Dodgers 11, Rockies 4 With five games left in the season, and the Dodgers two games down in the standings to San Diego, it's clearly time to focus on the Wild Card. For the Dodgers, that means winning. For Dodger fans, though, there are some other things you can do to help your team. Fly to Washington, where the Phillies are for two more days. Sneak a midget into the Phillies' clubhouse and have him drop Ex-Lax into the Gatorade. Have him put bees in Jeff Conine's mitt. Hit yourself in the nuts with a hammer and tell the D.C. police that Ryan Howard did it—and that he also carried liquids onto the Phillies' plane. Later that night, call Chase Utley's hotel room. Tell him that you're Condoleeza Rice and you're a big fan of his. Make him spell Condoleeza. Then call Jimmy Rollins. Tell him that you're Chase Utley. Tell him to meet you at the Lincoln Memorial. Put on a Chase Utley mask, go to the Lincoln Memorial, and... uh... well, figure it out on the way. But you get the point, right? The Dodgers need help. As a fan, it's time to earn your keep. September
24, 2006 -
Dodgers 5, Diamondbacks 1 For the second time in a week, though, it was Nomar Garciaparra who got the attention. With the score tied 1-1 in the bottom of the ninth, Marlon Anderson led off with a single up the middle and was sacrificed to second by Russell Martin. So it's a tie score, ninth inning, a week left in the season, Dodgers are desperately fighting to remain in the playoff hunt, and who's the best they have to send to the plate? Oscar friggin' Robles. After fouling off a few and taking the count full, Robles grounded meekly to the right side. After walks to Rafael Furcal and Kenny Lofton, though, the Dodgers suddenly had the bases loaded for Nomar... and the gimp delivered. The win means the Dodgers keep pace with the Phillies and Padres, who don't appear intent on losing too many more games this season. The Dodgers are off on Monday, with the Phillies playing Houston and the Padres in St. Louis. Regardless of what happens in those games, at least one thing's for sure: no more of this half-game shit starting on Tuesday. Make's it a lot easier for those of us who are mathematically challenged. Or just stupid. September
23, 2006 -
Diamondbacks 9, Dodgers 3 Clearly they blew their wad last Monday. Since that magical game, the Dodgers have had the intensity of a wilted piece of celery. If a team can't ride that euphoria for even a week or two, they don't deserve to be playing in October. The way the Dodgers looked on Saturday night, we're not even sure they've got enough juice to keep playing through next weekend. After putting up three runs in the bottom of the first, the Dodgers sat back and watched the last eight innings pass them by. It only took a couple minutes for Brad Penny—the most ineffective sixteen-game winner in baseball history—to blow the lead, and only a couple more minutes for the Dodgers to make a big error, one of two on the night. The loss drops the Dodgers a game and a half behind the Padres in the West, and a half game behind the Phillies in the Wild Card race. The Phillies have won nine of their last eleven and the Padres have won eight of their last eleven. The Dodgers, meanwhile, have lost six of their last ten—and they haven't exactly been facing the cream of the crop. As a Dodger fan, though, you've got to look at the positive. If they're eliminated by Wednesday, you'll get to see a lot of James Loney in the last few games. September
21, 2006 -
Dodgers 5, Pirates 2 The Dodgers managed five runs on only six hits, none of which came off the bat of Julio Lugo. Yeah, real surprising. Apparently Lugo has 28 hits as a Dodger, although we've yet to see a single one. He's batting .217, which seems about a hundred points too high. While the pickup of Lugo has been a total failure, Marlon Anderson is making Ned Colletti look like a genius. Though Anderson was 0-for-2 with a walk on Thursday, he put down a perfect squeeze bunt in the 8th inning, giving the Dodgers another insurance run. You've gotta like his swagger, too. Maybe it's something about wearing Milton Bradley's old uniform. Although if it is, Anderson's wife had better start practicing how to dial 9-1-1. With nine games left in the season, the Dodgers remain a half-game out of first place and are now a half-game up on the Phillies in the Wild Card race. "Dodgers take over NL Wild Card lead," the Dodgers' web site read on Thursday night. Well, yeah, they're at the top of the Wild Card race because they're no longer at the top of the Western Divison. Is that something to be proud of? It's like your daughter getting excited about getting a new bunny when the only reason she got a new one is that she fed lighter fluid to the old one. September
19, 2006 -
Pirates 10, Dodgers 6 It was fun, but the party's over. Wait, wasn't Monday's game supposed to destroy the Padres and propel the Dodgers to the World Series? Yeaaaah.... uh... not so much. As the Dodgers got knocked around by Pittsburgh, the Padres topped the Diamondbacks. So much for momentum. Less than twenty-four hours after the Dodgers were making out with eachother in the clubhouse, they're back in second place. Things looked promising for a minute or two, as Rafael Furcal hit Ian Snell's first pitch over the wall in right. But then something horrible happened: Kenny Lofton didn't hit a home run. And neither did Nomar Garciaparra. And neither did Jeff Kent. Clearly confused, the Dodgers' bats went silent. Meanwhile, Hong-Chih Kuo got the Dodgers into the sixth and turned the ball over to Elmer Dessens with the bases loaded. Dessens had pitched just two innings since September 3rd, and it showed. The second batter he faced took him deep, and the Dodgers were down by five. While you've got to love Marlon Anderson's effort on the ball, it would be nice if Grady Little put the same effort into his managerial decisions. Not only was Dessens brought into a tough situation without a lot of recent work, but Brett Tomko was then brought in to pitch the eighth with the Dodgers down by only three. Tomko hasn't pitched a convincing inning since, oh, 1998, and the eighth inning was no exception. Tomko gave up four hits, four runs, and threw a wild pitch with a guy on third. It's terrific that Tomko prefers to be a reliever rather than a starter, and he can call himself a reliever all he wants, but relief is the furthest thing from what he brings. He's a goddamn nightmare and should have his arms broken. Thankfully, Grady Little looked pretty stupid a couple of minutes later when Marlon Anderson smashed a 3-run homer in the bottom of the inning. That brought the Dodgers to within four of the Pirates. Hmmm, that number four sounds familiar. Why does it sound so familiar? Oh yeah, it was the number of runs that piece-of-crap Brett Tomko had just given up. Monday? What happened on Monday? September
18, 2006 -
Dodgers 11, Padres 10 Where the hell do we begin after something like that? Four hours before Nomar Garciaparra took Rudy Seanez deep to end it, the rollercoaster began with Brad Penny giving up four runs in the first inning (DISCOURAGING). The Dodgers threatened in the bottom of the first inning (UPLIFTING), but Garciaparra grounded into a double play to kill the rally (DEPRESSING). Still, the Dodgers pecked away at Jake Peavy and tied the game in the third inning (EXCITING). In the sixth, it looked like they'd break the game open after loading the bases with nobody out (INSPIRING), but Rafael Furcal forced a run at the plate and Kenny Lofton grounded into an inning-ending double play (HORRIFYING). The Padres then got to Jonathan Broxton in the eighth inning, taking the lead on a play that saw J.D. Drew misplay the ball, Lofton overrun the ball, Kent throw the ball to the wrong base, and Russell Martin drop the ball (EMBARRASSING). Of course, the Dodgers came back to get a run in the bottom of the inning and with two outs had runners at second and third (CAPTIVATING). Garciaparra struck out swinging, though, and down went the Dodgers (DISGUSTING). Minutes later, Takashi Saito had given up three runs in the top of the ninth, and the Dodgers were no longer just losing, but losing by four (DISHEARTENING). The momentum, however, was about to shift—in a cataclysmic way. With Jon Adkins on the mound for the Padres to start the bottom of the ninth, Jeff Kent went deep (AWAKENING). Seconds later, J.D. Drew followed with a shot to right (INTERESTING). In came Trevor Hoffman, and out went his first pitch to Russell Martin (ELECTRIFYING). Up stepped Marlon Anderson, and—as if you were watching something out of a ridiculous movie—there went the ball over the wall in right-center (ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?). Padres 9, Dodgers 9. It wasn't meant to be, though, as the Padres broke through against Aaron Sele for a run in the top of the tenth (SADDENING). But wait, Kenny Lofton walked to start the bottom of the tenth (EYE-OPENING). Up stepped Nomar, who twice had choked earlier in the night. And on a 3-1 pitch from 72-year-old Rudy Seanez, Nomar delivered, sending the ball halfway up the bleachers in left (ASTONISHING). The Dodgers exploded from the dugout. Handicapped fans jumped from their wheelchairs. Girls ripped off their tops. It was pandemonium at Dodger Stadium, and even J.D. Drew smiled. Monday's game is why baseball is the greatest goddamn sport in the world and why you should just go to hell if you leave games in the eighth inning. It's just a win, but man is it a win. A loss would have dropped the Dodgers a game and a half behind the Padres, and a loss after hitting four consecutive home runs in the ninth would have been totally devastating. We're still not sure what's most amazing about the game. Was it that the Padres blew two four-run leads? Was it that the Dodgers hit seven home runs, four of them in a row in the bottom of the ninth? Was it that Marlon Anderson hit two home runs and had a career-high five hits? Frankly, the most amazing thing is that Brett Tomko and Aaron Sele both pitched—and the Dodgers still won. September
17, 2006 -
Padres 2, Dodgers 1 After a horrendous series against the awful Cubs that saw them blow late-inning leads in two of the three games, the Dodgers' lethargy has carried over into the weekend. They managed just two runs on Saturday in an 11-2 ass-whipping, and only put together four hits on Sunday. Derek Lowe pitched seven solid innings, striking out nine, but Jonathan Broxton gave up a run in the top of the ninth and Trevor Hoffman earned the save for the Padres—the 475th of his career. Interestingly, 440 of them have come against the Dodgers. Look, Hoffman's a great closer, but, holy christ man, he's not invincible—he does have fifty-five career losses. Someone might want to mention that to the Dodgers, who seem to crap their pants as soon as he comes in. Actually, they just crap their pants as soon as the Padres come to town. We're not talking about the '27 Yankees. These are the 2006 San Diego Padres, for chrissakes. They're eight games above .500. As for the Dodgers, well, things have been better. Other than Rafael Furcal and Jeff Kent, there isn't a Dodger regular hitting over .260 over the last 30 games. Come to think of it, though, how many regulars are there? Maybe four? The way Grady Little shuffles the lineup, nobody seems to get more than ten at-bats a week. The way the Dodgers are hitting, you can't really blame him. Wilson Betemit is three for his last thirty-two. Andre Ethier is three for his last thirty. And Julio Lugo, well, he's pretty much hitting his weight—which isn't a compliment considering that he hasn't eaten in weeks. Aaah, late September. September
12, 2006 -
Cubs 9, Dodgers 8 "Once upon a time I was a Dodger fan. And then Cesar Izturis cut off my balls." "Why doesn't Kenny Lofton just kick the ball into the infield? He'd have a better chance at throwing someone out. Dickhead." "I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew. I hate JD Drew." "Mark Hendrickson and Tim Hamulack probably couldn't get my dead grandmother out! In fact, they'd have a hard time getting me out (and I'm in my late fifties - but I did get 6 straight hits to finish out my softball season and my team finished in 1st place.)" "Tonight's debacle was almost as bad as a game I remember in the earlyish 90s when the Dodgers were winning by like nine runs going into the ninth and lost... was it the Phillies who beat them then? Anyway, my ulcer was already hurting me enough tonight before watching this debacle... maybe I can sue the Dodgers for exacerbating my internal injuries." "I blame Grady Little for leaving Derek Lowe in the game too long. He's so fucking worried about letting his pitchers get a win that he's willing to see them lose. If I ever see him on the street, I'll run him over--and then steal his wallet. And then light the wallet on fire. And then throw it at his bleeding corpse." "I just threw my shoe through the front window, smashed my face against the floor of my bathtub, and vomited on my cat. How do you clean barf off of a cat? Screw it, it's a cat." September
10, 2006 -
Dodgers 9, Mets 1
The split with the Mets is huge for the Dodgers, especially coming off of a series loss in Milwaukee. You would have liked to have seen the Dodgers win three of the four, but in this case, you've got to be content with mediocrity. Maybe even happy with mediocrity, considering we fully expected the Mets to sweep the Dodgers and Shawn Green to piss down their throats. September
8, 2006 -
Dodgers 5, Mets 0
The win was big, not just because of the standings, but because it could fool the Dodgers into thinking they've actually got a chance to take the series from the Mets this weekend. If they get cocky enough to think they can take three of four, good for them. Well, good for them if they actually do it. Not good for them if they lose the next two. As for Kuo, who was taking Chad Billingsley's spot in the rotation, he'll most likely get another start. That, of course, means that Mark Hendrickson should find himself a nice, comfortable chair in the bullpen. Unfortunately, though, no one know's how long Kuo's arm will hold up. Having undergone two Tommy John surgeries, the arm could rip out of its socket at any moment. Funny enough, it was Darren Dreifort who convinced Kuo to keep going and not let the surgeries end his career. Maybe they should actually award Kuo's win on Friday to Dreifort. That would give Darren a much more respectable 10 wins for the $55 million he was paid. September
7, 2006 -
Mets 7, Dodgers 0
At thirty-five games above .500, it's safe to say the Mets are a good ballclub, but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow the Dodgers' futility. Neither does watching Shawn Green, Jose Valentin, and Guillermo Mota shine. Green went 2-for-3, Valentin had a 2-run homer, and Guillermo Mota came in to squash the Dodgers' only attempt at a rally. At least Duaner Sanchez is on the DL and Paul Lo Duca is more concerned with finding new poon. With three games left in the series, the Dodgers probably need to win at least two of them to keep their lead over the Padres. The Padres just wrapped up a 5-1 homestand and now play on the road, where they've actually had more success this year. On the contrary, the Dodgers have had little success on the road—unless you measure success by the number of chicken nuggets Olmedo Saenz consumes. September
5, 2006 -
Brewers 9, Dodgers 0
On Tuesday, of couse, Hendrickson wasn't the Dodgers' only problem. They had just four hits, made three errors, and in general looked like the life had been sucked out of them with an elephant's trunk. This was the third loss in a row for the Dodgers, and combined with the Padres' fourth win in a row, their lead in the West is down to one. Man, when the Dodgers fall, they don't fuck around. No worries, though. Oscar Robles is back. September
4, 2006 -
Brewers 6, Dodgers 3
On Sunday against the Rockies, the Dodgers' chances looked pretty good. They had won seven in a row and standing on the mound for Colorado was Byung-Hyun Kim, a guy who was 0-4 with a 9.00 ERA in his last five starts. Well, as we all know, that didn't turn out so well. The Dodgers sucked it up, got on the plane, and figured they'd straighten themselves out in Milwaukee. After all, the Brewers had lost ten in a row and Greg Maddux was on the mound for the Dodgers. Once again, though, things didn't go according to plan. Maddux wasn't sharp, the Dodgers didn't hit in sync, and Jeff Kent's old legs didn't have much left. Maddux left in the 6th inning with the bases loaded only to watch Giovanni Carrara immediately give up a 2-run single and hit a batter. Carrara was recalled before the game and it looks like his fourth stint in a Dodger uniform may be a very short one. Hopefully the Dodgers send him on a tour of a brewery and he gets lost... forever. You see, people, this is exactly why we're hesitant to ever get excited. You say we're negative, you say we're haters, but the fact is, we've been through this before. And if you can't remember all the times the Dodgers have choked in September, you're just an idiot. You think this is a great Dodger team because they've had a couple winning streaks since the All-Star break? They're a good team, sure, but a great team would have pulled away from the pack in the National League West by now. If the Dodgers were in the National Leage East, they'd be eleven games back. So spare us the "Dodgers rule!" emails and do what we do: prepare for the worst. September
3, 2006 -
Rockies 12, Dodgers 5
As for the Dodgers' offense on Sunday, it took the day off. Actually, it was given the day off. Nomar Garciaparra, Jeff Kent and Russell Martin, who rank second, third and fourth on the Dodgers in RBI, all sat. Grady Little also tried to give Vin Scully the day off, but he couldn't find his way up to the broadscating booth. Just about the only Dodger who had any success at the plate was Marlon Anderson, who went 2-for-2 with a home run. Anderson is now 3-for-4 as a Dodger, but before you wet your pants, remember Tyler Houston? Acquired during the 2002 season, Houston went 4-for-4 in his first game as a Dodger, knocking in four runs and scoring three. It was all downhill from there, as Houston hit .200 with just three RBIs the rest of the season. September
2, 2006 -
Dodgers 14, Rockies 5
Penny watched from the dugout as Elmer Dessens took over for him, and then scurried back into the clubhouse when Dessens got the Dodgers out of the inning, keeping his possible win intact. Would it have killed Brad to stick around for five more seconds and give Dessens a pat on the back? Apparently so. Their lead cut to two in the top of the 6th, the Dodgers bounced back in the bottom of the inning. With five hits, three walks, and a sacrifice fly, the Dodgers turned the game into a laugher—funny enough that Grady Little felt comfortable bringing in Mark Hendrickson to pitch an inning. The only guy not laughing was Matt Kemp, who went 0-for-5 with three strikeouts. September
1, 2006 -
Dodgers 6, Rockies 3
Finally, while the Rockies might not be producing tons of talent these days, they are producing some dudes with bizarre names. There's Clint Barmes, of course, and then Brad Hawpe. Add to that Ryan Spilborghs, Chris Iannetta, and Troy Tulowitzki. Why do we point this out? Uh, probably because the Dodgers have won six in a row and it's not the right time to waste a paragraph ragging on Nomar for being 6-for-40.
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For
once, the Dodgers are hot at the right time. Winning six in a row
and eight of their last nine, the Dodgers clinched a playoff spot
on Saturday afternoon in San Francisco. Whether they're the Western
Division champs or the Wild Card beneficiary won't be known until
Sunday, but for most of the Dodgers, it doesn't matter. "We're
just happy to be in the postseason," said Derek Lowe, "especially
since most of our bullpen is so goddamn awful." (Fine, he didn't
say that, but you know he's thinking it.)
Forty-four
thousand people showed up at Phone Company Park on Friday night
to watch the Giants play spoiler. Forty-four thousand people went
home disappointed. So sorry, you bastards. Not only did the Dodgers
beat the Giants, they came from behind in the 9th inning to do it.
And not only that, a former Giant—just in the game—helped
the Dodgers save the lead in the bottom of the inning. And not only
that, orange is a stupid color.
The
Dodgers won their fourth in a row on Thursday, keeping pace with
the Padres and gaining ground on the Phillies (well, maybe gaining
ground on the Phillies... as we write this, they're down 3-1). The
Dodgers hopped on a plane after the game and flew to San Francisco,
surely sad to see Denver behind them. They scored 36 runs in the
three-game series, culminating with the 19 they posted on the scoreboard
on Thursday afternoon. It was a vintage Coors Field ballgame, but
it left us with some burning questions.
For
the second day in a row on Wednesday, things went two-thirds right
for the Dodgers. On Tuesday, the Dodgers won, San Diego won, and
Philadephia lost. On Wednesday, the Dodgers won again, only this
time the Padres dropped a game and the Phillies came out on top.
So, with four games to go, the Dodgers are up one and down one—a
game ahead in the Wild Card, a game down in the Western Division.
Another
day passed on Tuesday, and the Dodgers are no closer to first place.
They are, however, closer to a playoff spot than they were a day
earlier. After neither the Padres or Phillies had lost a game for
almost a month (or so it seemed), the Phillies finally did on Tuesday...
and the Dodgers took advantage. With three runs in the first inning
and eight more later in the game, the Dodgers put away the Rockies,
11-4. Greg Maddux wasn't particularly sharp, but it's definitely
because of Denver. It has nothing to do with the fact that he's
56 years old. Nothing. Maddux went six innings and made 76 pitches.
And a few of them were actually swung at and missed.
Just
when you thought you'd never see anything as amazing as last Monday's
improbable victory over the Padres, Dodger fans were treated to
another shocker on Sunday: nine strong innings from the pitching
staff. With the exception of Derek Lowe's performance on Friday
night, the pitching mound at Dodger Stadium hasn't seen much in
the way of success lately. On Sunday, Hong-Chih Kuo pulled it together
and threw seven innings of one-run ball, striking out eight. The
best part of it was that Grady Little could skip right over Brett
Tomko, gamble with Jonathan Broxton for an inning, and then turn
to Takashi Saito. While Tomko sat in the clubhouse getting his ass
whipped in Xbox baseball, Broxton and Saito combined to strike out
five Diamondbacks.
It's
Saturday night in late September and the Philadelphia Phillies beat
the Florida Marlins. Down in San Diego, the Padres beat the Pittsburgh
Pirates. That's what good teams do with a week left in the season
and everything on the line—they win. What do the Dodgers do?
They give up seventeen hits to a last place team and swing at every
first pitch they see.
Coming
into Thursday night's game with the Pirates, the Dodgers had a record
of eight wins and eleven losses in September. Nice of them to really
bear down when it counts. Monday night's game aside, the Dodgers
have displayed very little in the way of intensity over the last
couple weeks, and even less in the way of talent. One piece of the
puzzle finally came together on Thursday, even if just for a night.
The Dodger bullpen, a disaster over the last week or so (and generally
mediocre prior to that), threw four scoreless innings, giving Chad
Billingsley his sixth major league victory. Joe Beimel pitched two
innings, Jonathan Broxton—who actually looks larger than he
did earlier in the week, if that's possible—pitched one, and
Takashi Saito struck out the side in the ninth for his 20th save.
The
Dodgers were, for one day, the talk of Los Angeles. At work, on
the radio, in the abortion clinic... everyone was talking about
the Dodgers. These, of course, are people who generally don't give
a shit about baseball and suddenly became fans on Monday night,
but there was a rare buzz nonetheless. A half million people claimed
to have been at the game, and another half million pretended like
they didn't turn it off in the eighth inning. All day long, fans
relived the magic... listening to Vin Scully's calls, even listening
to Charley Steiner scream like a little girl.
Frustration.
Excitement. Torture. Hope. Despair. Jubilation. Disappointment.
Suspense. Misery. Insanity. Horror. Bliss. And those were just the
emotions you experienced sitting in traffic to get to Monday's game.
Things only got more intense at the stadium, as the Dodgers knocked
off the Padres in one of the more memorable games in Dodger history.
Saying that Monday's game was an emotional see-saw is like saying
that the universe is large.
Some
things are only a matter of time. A 3-hour drive from Santa Monica
to Downtown Los Angeles? Only a matter of time. Global warming killing
us all? Only a matter of time. Britney Spears having her ninth child?
Only a matter of time. It was also only a matter of time before
the Dodgers' mediocrity caught up with them. On Sunday, it finally
happened, as they were knocked out of first place, a spot in which
they clearly didn't belong.
If
you ever wondered why this web site exists, Tuesday night's game
should have made it pretty clear. If you didn't watch Tuesday night's
game, consider yourself blessed. It was, without a doubt, the worst
game the Dodgers have played in many months, possibly years. Rather
than recount the horror, though, we'll allow Dodger fans to speak
for themselves--at least those who were kind enough to email us.
Here's what some of them had to say...
Two
weeks ago, the name Eric Stults only conjured up images of one thing:
the kid from Mask. Truth be told, that was Eric Stoltz, but
the name now means something else to Dodger fans. Whether Stults
is given the chance this year to do anything beyond what he did
on Sunday, the rookie certainly made his mark. Stults went six innings
against the powerful Mets, giving up just one earned run. While
that was a pleasant surprise, it was even more shocking to watch
what followed: three scoreless innings from Elmer Dessens, Mark
Hendrickson, and Aaron Sele. Of course, had the Dodgers not been
ahead by eight runs, it's quite unlikely that Grady Little would
have used that terrific trio, but you can't complain about the job
they did. Nor can you complain about the offense on Sunday. The
Dodgers got four RBIs from Nomar Garciaparra, three RBIs from Kenny
Lofton, and and three hits Rafael Furcal, who's making up for a
poor start with his new team. 
The
Dodgers turned the tables on the Mets on Friday night, shutting
down the league's best. Hong-Chih Kuo, making his first major league
start, pitched six scoreless innings in a 5-0 win that kept the
Dodgers in first place in the West—barely. The Dodgers got
two gift runs in the first inning after a David Wright error, and
added three more later, two on home runs by Rafael Furcal and Nomar
Garciaparra in the fifth inning. 
The
Dodgers arrived in New York in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday,
but by Thursday night they were obviously still asleep. It took
only minutes for the Mets to take a 2-0 lead, and it took the Dodgers
two hours and forty minutes to, well, do nothing at all. That seems
to be their routine of late, as the Dodgers have scored five runs
in their last four games. They've been shut out in two of the last
three, and find themselves just percentage points above the San
Diego Padres—who they led by four games a week ago.
Tom
Petty may have sang about Ventura and Mulholland but he clearly
never saw Mark Hendrickson pitch. In another stellar outing, Hendrickson
gave up five runs on Tuesday night, including three on a first-inning
homer. He lasted just four innings and is now 1-7 as a Dodger. Christ,
Charley Steiner's left testicle could have lost seven games for
the Dodgers. Hendrickson is a total waste of space, and his continued
presence on the mound is unfair to fans, players, and Rick Honeycutt's
neck. While there's really nothing Mark Hendrickson can do about
the fact that he sucks, Grady Little can certainly do something:
sit the beast.
Well,
the Dodgers have picked a fine time to go in the crapper. With big
series coming up with the mighty Mets and pesky Padres, the Dodgers
know that they've got to fatten up on the Rockies and Brewers. Knowing
and doing are two very different things, however, and
the way the Dodgers have played the last two days, the race could
get very interesting. 
It
was a close game on Sunday. That is, until the Rockies suddenly
realized that they were facing Aaron Sele. After scoring one run
in the fourth, the Rockies busted through for six in the fifth against
Sele and Elmer Dessens (who apparently now pitches every day). The
Rockies went on to score five more runs and beat the Dodgers 12-5.
Dodger pitchers gave up eighteen hits and none escaped unscathed.
Hong-Chih Kuo gave up a run in two innings, and Joe Beimel—just
trying to get the Dodgers to the plane—gave up two home runs
in the ninth. It was Matt Holliday's 481-foot blast off of Dessens
in the fifth inning that got the attention, however. Holliday's
shot ranked up there with the biggest blasts ever hit at Dodger
Stadium. Willie Stargell had a 507-footer, Mark McGwire a 483-footer,
and Tripp Cromer a 211-footer.
Once
again, you're welcome. It's happened with J.D. Drew, it's happened
with Rafael Furcal, and on Saturday, it happened with Nomar Garciaparra.
A day after calling Garciaparra out for being 6-for-40, he drives
in six runs with a 3-run homer and a bases-clearing double. Nomar's
two hits and six RBI led a 15-hit Dodger attack. Taking advantage
of sloppy Colorado defense (we fully expected Clint Hurdle to set
fire to Clint Barmes in the dugout) the Dodgers' posted an early
seven on the board. Brad Penny faltered in the 6th, however, letting
the Rockies creep back. A crappy call by second base umpire Doug
Eddings didn't help Penny, but neither did the five hits he allowed
in the inning. 
It's
a new month for the Dodgers, but they continued to play like it
was August on Friday night, beating the Rockies, 6-3. It was their
6th straight win and their 72nd of the season—one more win
than all of last year. Hmmm, they must not miss Jason Grabowski
after all. Their newest pinch-hitter got a base hit in the 6th inning,
their rejuvenated leadoff guy knocked in two runs, and their dependable-of-late
bullpen pitched four scoreless innings. Derek Lowe only made it
through five, seeming to suffer a bit from his 3-inning relief stint
on Tuesday. (Well, either that or he and Carolyn Hughes had a big
night on Thursday.) Wilson Betemit also contributed, first by failing
to field a roller up the line, and then by homering in the ninth
off of Jose Mesa. If Dodger pitchers can keep guys from hitting
the ball to the left side, Betemit might actually have a future
with the Dodgers.