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Look, we all know about Kirk Gibson's homer, Steve Finley's slam, and the four consecutive ninth-inning home runs in 2006. Here, though, I'm talking about off-the-field embarrassments, on-the-field stupidity, and other stuff that gives us all the Dodger Blues.

1925 - Charles Ebbets dies on Opening Day
1977 - Lasorda and Rau argue during World Series
1978 - Lasorda goes on Dave Kingman tirade
1981 - Rick Sutcliffe destroys Lasorda's office
1984 - Lasorda goes on Kurt Bevacqua tirade
1985 - Dave Stewart gets BJ from transvestite hooker
1987 - Al Campanis makes racial remarks on Nightline
1988 - Kirk Gibson goes apeshit over eyeblack
1988 - Jay Howell uses pine tar
1990 - Dodgers blow 10-run lead in 8th and 9th innings
1993 - Eric Davis drives getaway car
1995 - Dodgers forfeit after fans hurl balls
1997 - Wilton Guerrero corks bat
1999 - Kevin Brown destroys a toilet
1999 - Chan Ho Park gives up 2 slams to Tatis in 1 inning
1999 - Carlos Perez attacks water cooler with bat
1999 - Raul Mondesi goes on tirade
2000 - Lesbians kiss and get booted
2001 - Gary Sheffield rips Dodgers
2001 - Kevin Malone challenges fan
2001 - Tommy Lasorda falls at all-star game
2004 - Jose Lima sings anthem while wife's boobs get the attention
2004 - Milton Bradley goes apeshit, tossing balls
2004 - Milton Bradley goes apeshit, tossing a bottle
2004 - Dodgers and Cardinals shake hands
2005 - Duaner Sanchez throws his glove at the ball
2005 - Derek Lowe and Carolyn Hughes secretly mate
2006 - Joe Beimel cuts his hand at a bar
2006 - Two Dodgers nailed at home seconds apart

> Charles Ebbets dies on Opening Day

April 18, 1925

Charles Ebbets, who began as a ticket seller and eventually became president and owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, died at his Waldorf-Astoria apartment—on the morning of Opening Day. Ebbets served as team president for 26 years, and the Dodgers honored his memory by losing that afternoon to the Giants at Ebbets Field, 7-0.

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> Lasorda removes Doug Rau in '77 World Series

October 15, 1977

Doug Rau was the Dodger starter in Game 4 of the 1977 World Series. After the Yankees got three consecutive hits off of Rau in the third inning, Tommy Lasorda went to the mound to pull him. What followed was a classic exchange. The Yankees ended up scoring three times in the third inning, but the Dodgers came up with two of their own in the third when Davey Lopes blasted a Ron Guidry pitch over the center-field fence. Reggie Jackson hit a solo shot in the sixth, and that's how it ended: Yankees 4, Dodgers 2. But the game produced this:

> Listen to Tommy and Rau argue (MP3 format)

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> Lasorda goes on Dave Kingman tirade

June 4, 1976

This one never gets old. After a game in which Dave Kingman hit three home runs to beat the Dodgers (the first of two 3-HR games that Kingman would have against the Dodgers), Tommy Lasorda was asked by reporter Paul Olden what he thought of Kingman's performance. The rest is history:

Reporter: Can you give us just a few basic comments about your feelings on the game?

Lasorda: Well, naturally I feel bad about losing a ball game like that, there's no way you should lose that ball game. An', it, uh, just doesn't make sense.

R: What's your opinion of Kingman's performance?

TL: What's my opinion of Kingman's performance!? What the BLEEP do you think is my opinion of it? I think it was BLEEPING BLEEP. Put that in, I don't BLEEP. Opinion of his performance!!? BLEEP, he beat us with three BLEEPING home runs! What the BLEEP do you mean, "What is my opinion of his performance?" How could you ask me a question like that, "What is my opinion of his performance?" BLEEP, he hit three home runs! BLEEP. I'm BLEEPING pissed off to lose that BLEEPING game. And you ask me my opinion of his performance! BLEEP. That's a tough question to ask me, isn't it? "What is my opinion of his performance?"

R: Yes, it is. I asked it, and you gave me an answer...

TL: Well, I didn't give you a good answer because I'm mad, but I mean...

R: Well, is wasn't a good question...

TL: That's a tough question to ask me right now, "What is my opinion of his performance." I mean, you want me to tell you what my opinion of his performance is...

R: You just did...

TL: That's right. BLEEP. Guy hits three home runs against us. BLEEP.

> Listen to the interview. (RealMedia file)

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> Rick Sutcliffe destroys Lasorda's office

October 1981

Rick Sutcliffe was the NL Rookie of the Year in 1979, but that didn't mean Tommy Lasorda liked him. In fact, it was widely known that Lasorda and Sutcliffe got along poorly. After Lasorda left Sutcliffe off the Dodgers' 1981 postseason roster, Sutcliffe burst into Lasorda's office, overturned his desk and smashed chairs. "There was a lot of booming and banging going on in Tommy's office, chairs getting busted up and all," recalled Dusty Baker, a Dodger outfielder at the time. Within a couple months, Sutcliffe was a Cleveland Indian.

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> Lasorda goes on Kurt Bevacqua tirade

According to some, it all began when Tom Niedenfuer was fined $500 for hitting a San Diego batter. Outfielder Kurt Bevacqua told the press: "They ought to fine that fat little Italian, too. He ordered it." Soon Lasorda was asked his opinion of Bevacqua. The rest is history.

TL: BLEEPING Bevacqua, who couldn't hit water if he fell out a BLEEPING boat.

> Listen to Tommy's one-liner (WAV file)

TL: And I guaran-BLEEPING-tee you this, when I pitched and I was gonna pitch against a BLEEPING team that had guys on it like Bevacqua, I'd send a BLEEPING limosine to get the BLEEPER to make sure he was in the motherBLEEPING lineup because I'd kick that BLEEPER's ass any BLEEPING day of the week. He's a BLEEPING motherBLEEPING bigmouth, I'll tell you that.

> Listen to Tommy's extended tirade (WAV file)

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> Dave Stewart gets BJ from transvestite hooker

January 23, 1985

Dave Stewart had his share of personal problems throughout his career, but this has got to be the highlight. After police observed him soliciting a prostitute in downtown L.A., Stewart was arrested a few minutes later in a nearby alley. Also arrested was the hooker, "Lucille." It just so happened, however, that Lucille was actually Elson Tyler, a 27-year-old 6-foot-3 unemployed laborer. ''Mr. Stewart said he was unaware that Tyler was a male until after the arrest,'' Police Cmdr. William Booth said. ''That was his statement and we have reason to believe him.'' Vice officers refused to give details of the incident but a police source said the transvestite was performing oral on Stewart. While the incident occured when Stewart was no longer a member of the Dodgers, this was just too good to pass up... sort of like a BJ from a 235-pound transvestite.

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> Al Campanis makes racial remarks on Nightline

April 6, 1987

General Manager of the Dodgers since 1968, Al Campanis' tenure came to an abrupt end two days after an April 6, 1978 interview on Nightline. While being interviewed live about Jackie Robinson, Nightline anchorman Ted Koppel asked him why there had been only a few black managers and no black GMs in Major League Baseball. Campanis' response quickly made news:

"[Blacks] may not have some of the necessities to be, let's say, a field manager, or, perhaps, a general manager."

Campanis went on: "I know that they have wanted to manage, and many of them haven't managed. But they are outstanding athletes, very God-gifted and wonderful people.... They are gifted with great musculature (sic) and various other things. They are fleet of foot and this is why there are a number of black ballplayers in the major leagues."

Campanis also said in the interview that blacks are poor swimmers "because they don't have the buoyancy." Koppel gave Campanis an opportunity to rescind his remarks, but Campanis chose only to confirm his views. After intense public backlash, Campanis resigned on April 8, 1978... and in came Fred Claire.

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> Kirk Gibson walks out of camp after eyeblack incident

March 3, 1988

Preparing for his first spring training game as a Dodger, Gibson began his pregame warm-ups in the outfield. Taking off his hat to wipe sweat from his head, Gibson noticed people laughing. He soon realized that someone had greased the inside of his cap with eyeblack and he had unknowingly wiped it all over himself.

He immediately took off for the visitors' clubhouse, warning Lasorda on the way, "Tommy, you find out what son of a bitch did this, because I'm going to tear his head off." Lasorda tried to smooth things over, and culprit Jesse Orosco eventually tried to apologize (a conversation I would have loved to hear), but Gibson scared the hell out of everyone and apparently got his point across: winning is what's fun.

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> Jay Howell suspended for use of pine tar

October 8, 1988

It was game three of the '88 Division Series against the Mets. After Jay Howell's fifth pitch to Kevin McReynolds, who was leading off the ninth inning, Met Manager Davey Johnson asked plate umpire Joe West to examine Howell's glove for what he believed to be pine tar. After a thorough examination, crew chief Harry Wendelstedt ejected Howell and delivered the glove to National League President Bart Giamatti, who was sitting near the Met dugout.

Howell would eventually be suspended for three games, though Giamatti later reduced the sentence to two games "in view of Howell's apology and in an attempt not to further penalize his teammates and fans during this crucial series."

Without Howell, the Dodgers had only 4 relievers and 4 starters. Even though Howell sucked and losing him for a couple games was probably a blessing, this was one of the biggest bonehead moves in postseason history.

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> Dodgers blow 10-run lead to Phillies

August 21, 1990

Leading 11-1 in the eighth inning, the Dodgers were all set to gain a game on the first-place Reds. But then it happened. The Philadelphia Phillies, thanks to shitty Dodger relief pitching and two errors by rookie Jose Offerman, scored two runs in the eighth inning and nine runs in the ninth to defeat the Dodgers, 12-11. It was their biggest ninth-inning rally in 72 years.

Trailing, 11-1, the Phillies scored their two runs in the eighth against Don Aase on a two-run double by Von Hayes. OK, fine, 11-3 going into the ninth. After Dodger rookie Dave Walsh retired only one of the first seven batters in the ninth, Tim Crews was brought in. Dale Murphy immediately hit a two-run double off Crews to narrow the gap to 11-8. John Kruk then delivered the big blow, a three-run homer off Crews. Rod Booker followed with a single and scored the game-winner when Carmelo Martinez doubled off Jay Howell. Tommy Lasorda was so livid he would have ripped his own balls off if his fat stomach didn't get in the way.

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> With Eric Davis behind the wheel, Vince Coleman throws firecrackers at fans

Jul 24, 1993

After a Dodger victory, Eric Davis and Mets outfielder Vince Coleman drove through the Dodger Stadium parking lot. In what Dodger Eric Davis later called a "joke," Coleman tossed an M-80 firecracker from Davis' car. The result: Three fans were reportedly injured by the explosion, including an 11-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl.

Davis acknowledged that Coleman threw the firecracker out of his car, but Coleman later said that he didn't know throwing firecrackers at people could result in injury. Genius.

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> Dodgers forfeit game after fans toss balls on field

August 10, 1995

After fans hurled their souvenir baseballs onto the field for the third time during the game, umpires decided to forfeit the game to the Cardinals with one out in the Dodgers' ninth. It was the first forfeit in the National League in 41 years. The biggest uproar began when Raul Mondesi, who took a highly questionable strike two from umpire Jim Quick in the ninth, argued after swinging and missing strike three. He was ejected by Quick, who moments earlier had booted Eric Karros for a belated objection to his eighth-inning strikeout. When Tommy Lasorda joined the fray and also was booted, a hail of baseballs came onto the field, matching an incident that occurred in the seventh inning (when fans tossed some balls to the Cardinal rightfielder who had earlier juggled a ball). Quick waved the Cardinals in from the field for the second time in the game. Just after he motioned the Cardinals back onto the field, more baseballs came flying out from the stands, and the umpires called the game. Said Quick: "When a ball zinged by Jordan in center field, I said, `That's it.' "

First-base umpire Bob Davidson said, "Lasorda instigated the whole damn thing by waving his fat little arms out there. We gave them three chances. Strike three and you're out." Lasorda was furious when told the umpires blamed him. "How did I instigate it? I was talking to Jim Quick. All I was asking was why he threw my players out," Lasorda said. "We didn't throw the balls. Who made them throw the balls the first time? What the hell did I do? If I don't come out and ask why my players are being thrown out, what kind of a manager am I? That's all I did. I tell you, that is a real crime, for those guys to try to put that blame on me."

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> Wilton Guerrero uses corked bat

June 1, 1997

Rookie second baseman Wilton Guerrero, who proved throughout his time with the Dodgers that he was a complete idiot, shatters his bat while grounding out to lead off the game. Umpires become suspicious after Guerrero immediately races to retrieve pieces of the shattered bat. Umpire Steve Ripley sees that the bat has been altered and shows it to crew chief Bruce Froemming, who then ejects Guerrero. Guerrero eventually earns an 8-day suspension, a $1,000 fine, and the nickname "Corky" from Jim Rome. Incidentally, the Dodgers won the game 6-1 win when Mike Piazza, Eric Karros and Todd Zeile hit back-to-back-to-back home runs in the 4th inning. Goddammit, remember those days?

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> Kevin Brown destroys a toilet

March 13, 1999

As Kevin Brown was taking a post-workout shower in the Dodgertown clubhouse, an unidentified player flushed a toilet. The water temperature in the shower immediately became hotter, and so did Brown. Pissed about being scalded, the first-year Dodger took a nearby bat and destroyed the toilet—without even checking if anyone needed to take a dump. After putting on pants, Brown then left the spring training complex. (The incident would serve as inspiration for Carlos Perez's water cooler attack just a couple months later.) "He did something I'd like to do many times when I was in the shower and someone flushed the toilet," manager Davey Johnson later said.

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> Chan Ho Park gives up 2 slams to Tatis in 1 inning

April 24, 1999

Not one of Chan Ho Park's better games. Facing the Cardinals, Park struggled from the outset, but worked out of a bases-loaded situation in the second inning. Then, however, came the third inning. With nobody out and the bases loaded, third baseman Fernando Tatis—who had yet to ever hit a grand slam—sent a 2-0 fastball from Park 450 feet into the left field bullpen. Later in the inning, with Park still on the mound, Tatis came up again—and again with the sacks juiced. The count went full, and Tatis lined Park's slider into the left field pavillion. And so marked the first time in baseball history that a pitcher served up two grand slams to the same guy in the same inning. (The only other pitcher to give up two grand slams in the same inning is Pittsburgh's Bill Phillips, who did it in 1890.) The Cardinals eventually won the game, 12-5. Afterward, Dodgers GM Kevin Malone acknowledged that something was wrong with Park: "I think his concentration is off, but it's not his stuff." What the fuck does that mean?

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> Carlos Perez attacks water cooler with bat

June 17, 1999

Frustrated over his miserable season, Carlos Perez displayed his anger during a bizarre eruption in the dugout moments after being removed from a Dodger/Pirate game. Perez struck out Jose Guillen to open the fourth inning, but then his problems began. Perez walked Abraham Nunez, batting eighth in the Pirate order, then walked pitcher Francisco Cordova and leadoff batter Mike Benjamin. Davey Johnson then removed Perez, receiving a mock ovation from the crowd of 25,384 that expressed contempt for Perez from the outset. Moments after entering the dugout, Perez grabbed a bat and began hitting the water cooler and empty buckets. He struck the objects 14 times before disappearing into the tunnel leading into the clubhouse. A beautiful sight!

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> Raul Mondesi goes on profanity-filled tirade

August 11, 1999

Frustrated over the team's horrendous season and what he believed to be finger pointing in his direction by the manager and GM (little did he know they were just pointing at his ridiculous afro), Raul Mondesi lashed out in the clubhouse:

"I'm tired of all this. I told my agent to get me the fuck out of here as soon as possible. I can't take this anymore. I've had to deal with this all year. I told them to trade me because I don't want to fucking be here. Fuck Davey and fuck Malone, they try to put all of our problems on me. They're trying to say that all this shit is my fault. That's the way they feel. Fine. Just get me out of here. Fuck Davey. Fuck Malone. Fuck both of them."

Mondesi went on to wear out his welcome in Toronto, New York, Pittsburgh, and Anaheim as well. Who would think?

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> Lesbians kiss and get kicked out

August 8, 2000

After making out with eachother in the 7th inning, Meredith Kott—later identified as former porn star Nico Treasures—and Danielle Goldey were kicked out of the stadium for "lewd behavior." The couple was surrounded by stadium security guards and ordered to leave immediately, without even gathering up their belongings, and asked never to "set foot back on the premises." Nearby spectators, justifiably pissed as hell, booed the guards. Tom Goodwin strikes out four times and no one kicks him out, but a couple of chicks kiss, and they're immediately gone. It's just not fair.

Goldey was particularly hurt by the expulsion, because she has been "bleeding [Dodger] blue since I was a kid." The couple had planned to sue the Dodgers, but ended up not doing so after the team promised to give 5,000 tickets to gay and lesbian organizations and continue sensitivity training for all Dodger employees. Rumor has it that part of this training involves watching Bob Daly and Bob Graziano tongue eachother.

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> Gary Sheffield rips Dodgers and demands trade

February, 2001

Spring Training was less than a week away. Gary Sheffield was under contract through 2003 and would earn a total of $30 million dollars, not including an $11 million club option for 2004. That, however, didn't stop him from asking for more money. Told by Dodgers chairman Bob Daly that the team couldn't honor his request, Sheffield vented during an interview with Baseball Weekly.

"Come on, they're paying Brownie $15 million a year until he's 41," he was quoted as saying. "They just gave Dreifort $55 million when he's only won 39 games in his career and had arm surgery. They gave Shawn Green $13 million a year. And how about Carlos Perez -- paying him $6 million a year? And you talk about risk, that I'm a risk? That's an insult... I'm getting less than Dreifort? I'm getting just $3 million more than Carlos Perez? It's not my fault they signed Perez to that stupid contract. It's not my fault they gave Eric Karros a no-trade clause when he's got no value. It's not my fault they gave Greenie all that money. They give out all of these dumb contracts and when it comes to me -- nothing."

Later referring to himself in the third person (a clear sign someone is lacking some brain cells), Sheffield claimed it was all about respect. Bull. It's about money. Sheffield would have been perfectly happy to stay in L.A. if Daly and company had agreed to his absurd request: a four-year contract extension--with three years still remaining on his current deal.

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> Kevin Malone challenges a Padres fan to a fight

April 14, 2001

Just a couple weeks into the 2001 season, Dodgers GM Kevin Malone once again showed what a dipshit he is. Jim Esterbrooks, a Padres season ticket-holder, said Malone began arguing with him during a game at Qualcomm Stadium. Esterbrooks and others seated in a section behind home plate said Malone challenged him to a fight in defense of Sheffield, whom Esterbrooks was heckling. "I was stunned when it happened," Esterbrooks said. "He started calling me 'Mouth.' He said, 'What do you know, Mouth?'"

Malone told the Los Angeles Times that Esterbrooks was the aggressor. "I can't comment on what he felt I was doing," Malone said. "He was loud, belligerent, obnoxious and rude. He knew who I was, and I didn't know that at the time." After announcing his resignation (firing) a few days later, Malone cited his exuberance: "That passion has, I'm sure, annoyed some, been misunderstood by others, but respected by those who know me best." Those who know him best include his non-English speaking maid, and his senile grandmother.

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> Tommy Lasorda falls

July 10, 2001

Mets' manager Bobby Valentine invited Tommy Lasorda to the 2001 All-Star Game and sent him out to coach third base in the sixth inning. On a pitch from Mike Stanton, Vladimir Guerrero's bat splintered apart, the barrel nailing Lasorda on his hip. Lasorda tumbled backward, heels over head, then quickly got up. "I'm not quite as agile as I used to be," he said. "I'll be 74 in a couple months." When it was clear Lasorda was unhurt, Barry Bonds ran out of the NL dugout and tried to put a chest protector on him.

It's funny just to see Lasorda move. But seeing him fall ranks up there as one of the best.

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> Jose Lima sings anthem while wife's boobs get the attention

May 13 , 2004

Rumor has it that Jose Lima sang the National Anthem on May 13, 2004 at Dodger Stadium. No one saw Jose singing, however, because his wife's giants boobs blocked the view. (Actually, there were conflicting reports on who she actually was— his wife? an ex-wife? A common-law companion? With Jose, there's no telling what the relationship was.) Nonetheless, Melissa became instantly famous after the Dodgers posted a picture of the two on the team's web site. Cowardly, however, the team soon cropped Melissa out of the picture. No matter, there's no cropping those giant milk jugs out of our minds. She could breast feed the entire team with those things (and probably did).

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> Milton Bradley goes apeshit, tossing balls

June 3, 2004

Milton Bradley joined the Dodgers just before the '04 season with a reputation for rage. It wasn't until a couple months into the season, though, that Los Angeles got to witness the rage firsthand. With the Dodgers down 1-0 in the 6th inning, Bradley came to bat.... well, he came to the plate at least. After a just couple words with the home plate umpire, Bradley was ejected. After being restrained by Jim Tracy (who has no business trying to restrain a guy of Bradley's intensity), Milton took off his batting gloves and helmet, calmly leaving them in the batters box along with his bat. Ah, the calm before the storm. The calm before the hurricane. The calm before all hell broke loose. After making his deposit near home plate, Bradley walked back to the dugout en route to the clubhouse. Ah, but not so fast. Combine inner rage with a full bag of baseballs and you get one thing: fun at the ballpark. The Dodgers failed to entertain the fans that Tuesday evening, but Milton Bradley succeeded. And all it took was about six dozen balls on the field, courtesy of Milton. Lest the fans in the left field corner not enjoy the fun, Bradley picked up one of the balls and tossed it down the line. A spectacular sight. You've gotta love it when a grown man has a fit in front of 30,000 people. Pure entertainment.

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> Milton Bradley goes apeshit, tossing a bottle

September 28, 2004

A couple months removed from his ball-tossing tirade, Milton Bradley was ready to blow again. After a fan tossed a plastic bottle at Bradley in the eighth inning, all hell broke loose.
The fan threw the bottle onto the field one play after Bradley dropped pinch-hitter Mark Sweeney's liner with the bases loaded, allowing two runs to score and giving the Rockies a 3-0 lead.

Bradley picked up the bottle, left his position and angrily approached the stands, yelling like a crazy person. He then slammed the bottle into the stands. Several Dodgers players came out to right field and tried to calm down Bradley, who was arguing with umpire Jim Joyce and was soon ejected. As Bradley walked from right field to the Dodgers' dugout, he ripped his jersey and hat off. With the crowd behind the dugout booing, Bradley gestured with palms up, urging the fans on. Coach Jim Riggleman eventually pulled Bradley into the dugout.

Bradley was suspended for the final five games of the season—in the midst of a pennant race.

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> Dodgers and Cardinals shake hands

October 11, 2004

When Jason Isringhausen struck out Alex Cora to end Game 4 of the 2004 Division Series and send the Cardinals to the NLCS, the Dodgers clearly weren't ready to leave the field and head home for the winter. So they walked over to the celebrating Cardinals and congratulated them. Some people thought it was gay, others thought that the display—which never happens in baseball—showed good sportsmanship.

``That's the first time I've seen a team doing that to the other ballclub when they were the losing ballclub, and I think that was very special,'' St. Louis star Albert Pujols said.

``Everybody just wanted to go out there and just wish them luck,'' Dodgers star Adrian Beltre said.

``I think it was a professional show of class between two very classy organizations,'' said Dodgers manager Jim Tracy. ``To play this series the way it was played with the intensity it was played, it said a lot.'' Yeah, ok, Tracy's the expert on intensity. Uh-huh.

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> Duaner Sanchez throws his glove at the ball

May 28, 2005

With the Dodgers leading 4-2 over Arizona in the 7th inning, and Dodger pitcher Derek Thompson in line for his first major league win, Duaner Sanchez lost his mind. (After all, when something is very small, it's easy to lose.) Diamondbacks' outfielder Luis Terrero blooped one high over the mound, and when Sanchez realized he wouldn't be able to reach the ball, he did what any scummy 9-year-old would do: toss his glove in the air. Amazingly enough (and we do give him credit for accuracy), the glove snared the ball, and both fell to the ground. Sanchez tossed the ball to first, but too late to get Terrero. While Jeff Kent stood and laughed, the umpires sent Terrero to third base.

The humor was quickly lost when Chad Tracy's grounder scored Terrero to make the game 4-3. Obviously shaken by his own stupidity, Sanchez then gave up a game-tying home run to Arizona pitcher Javier Vazquez. Two innings later, Giovanni Carrara walked in the winning run.


Roll your mouse over the
picture to see the play.

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> Derek Lowe and Carolyn Hughes secretly mate

July 2005

Derek Lowe came to Los Angeles with a bit of a reputation, and didn't waste much living up to it. Aware that her husband was having an affair with Fox Sports West anchor/reporter Carolyn Hughes, Trinka Lowe contacted the network. Fox Sports soon pulled Hughes from her Dodger assignment while they investigated the relationship. Neither Hughes or Derek Lowe admitted the affair, but Trinka told that her husband was driving Hughes' car and regularly stayed the night at Hughes' Manhattan Beach apartment (presumably not to play Scrabble). "I love him. I don't want a divorce," Trinka said, despite Derek telling her that "he wanted me done when he came back from the next road trip."

While the whole thing is really none of our business, there's one part that's truly funny: Trinka apparently found Hughes' phone number in her husband's cell phone--under the name of Jeff.

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> Joe Beimel cuts his hand at a bar

October 3, 2006

On the eve of the Dodgers' Division series with the New York Mets, reliever Joe Beimel suffered a cut to his pitching hand-initially telling the team that he dropped a glass of water in his hotel room. After unsuccessfully testing the hand later in the day, Beimel was removed from the Dodgers' playoff roster—a big blow to a team that had counted on him during the year.

After the Dodgers' were quickly swept by the Mets, Beimel finally came clean, admitting that he cut his hand in a New York bar at 2:30 a.m. The douchebag initially tried to stop the bleeding in the bar's bathroom. Later, at the team hotel, he called one of the Dodgers' trainers to his room.

Beimel's stupidity didn't go over particularly well with the team. "It just adds to the disappointment we have," said Grady Little. "Everyone knows what's at stake at this time of year. It's all about personal responsibility. It's a situation where the individual showed very little. He's responsible for his own actions."

"I'm not happy about it," said Brett Tomko. "I'm sure there are a lot of people that aren't happy about it. There's plenty of time to go have fun. In my opinion, it was an inappropriate time to go out. A lot of people went out. It's just being an adult and being responsible. He just chose not to, at that point. When it's said and done, it's about character in this game."

Well, it figures that Tomko would say the game is about character-with him, it's sure as hell not about talent.

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> Two Dodgers nailed at home seconds apart

October 4, 2006

The tone of the 2006 Division Series was set early—and with great embarrassment for the Dodgers. It was Game One, second inning, nobody out. Jeff Kent was on second base, J.D. Drew on first. With Mets pitcher John Maine clearly in a jam, Russell Martin lashed a drive into the right field corner. That part is clear. The rest is too bizarre to even make sense of.

Kent gets a terrible read on the ball and a lousy jump off of second. As he's headed to third, the ball bounces right back to rightfielder Shawn Green, who throws a perfect relay to Jose Valentin, who fires the ball to Paul Lo Duca. Third base coach Rich Donnelly wants to hold up Kent at third, but J.D. Drew-picking an interesting moment to hustle for the first time-is right behind Kent. Confused, Donnelly sends Kent with the idea that Drew will stop at third. As Donnelly watches Kent about to be nailed at the plate, though, Drew breezes by him. A second later, he's out too-by about 40 feet.

"It was a terrible blunder that we had to pay for.... More times than not, you're going to pay for it. It'll come back to haunt you. That one certainly did," said Manager Grady Little. "We've been in L.A. all season long. We know about traffic jams. We certainly had one again right there. That's a trick play we work on in spring training."

The Dodgers lost the game 6-5, and just to make it even more painful for Dodger fans, all three Mets who combined on the second inning relay had played for the Dodgers within the two years prior. Bitches.


Mexican newspaper: Regazon must translate to 'Fucking Disaster'

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