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> Mike Trombley interviews Milton Bradley

Mike Trombley:
Thanks for taking the time to meet with us, Milton.

Milton Bradley: It's cool.

MT: So what made you decide to hold this interview at a pool hall?

MB: Pool helps me relax. I'm generally an angry person and this keeps me from beating the hell out of people who piss me off. Because if you piss me off, you're going to be sorry.

Milton lines up a shot and misses it. He uses his leg to snap his billiard cue in half. This gives him a sense of relief as he takes a deep breath and smiles and then retrieves another billiard cue.

MT: You've been called "arrogant" and "cocky" by some people in the baseball world. Do you feel this label is justified?

MB: Just because I'm the best doesn't mean I'm arrogant. It just means I'm the best.

MT: Ellis Burks said you are the angriest man he's ever met. Do you have a sensitive side that enjoys long walks on the beach and picnics in the park?

MB: Are you coming on to me? Cause if you are, I don't swing that way.

MT: Hmm… I must have misunderstood this note here that says you're a switch-hitter. Moving on then… Do you always wear gloves when you play pool?

MB: Yeah, they're special billiard gloves. The have a bit of padding in them and it keeps me from getting blisters.

MT: Can you do any trick shots?

MB: I can stick this pool cue up your ass.

MT: The entire pool cue?

Bradley sets up an elaborate shot that will have the cue ball travel on a Rube Goldberg-type journey around the entire billiard table before knocking in the awaiting Eight Ball at the far side corner pocket. This takes a few minutes to set up. Finally he's ready to measure his shot.

MB: It's all about hitting the ball in just the right spot.

CRACK! Bradley sends the ball up a ramp made of two billiard cues. The ball makes a 180 at the top of the ramp where it travels down a second ramp of cues angled across the table. Once the ball is on course, Bradley tosses his billiard cue aside and begins to take off his billiard gloves in triumph. As the ball ricochets off the bumper, Bradley walks to a booth at the back of the pool hall.

MT: That was a nice shot.

MB: I know it was nice shot.

CLICK - in the distance, we hear the Eight Ball fall into the far pocket.

MT: You also had some problems with the law while you were in Cleveland. Now that you're back in the Los Angeles area where you grew up, do you think it'll be easier for you to stay out of trouble?

MB: Well, you know what it's like when you move away from home for the first time. You feel a freedom you never had before. You don't care if you drink so excessively that you wake up in a hospital. You drive as fast as you want to drive. You can drive away from the cop who pulled you over while he's still writing you a ticket. But once you're back in your hometown, you can't do that kinda thing.

MT: Your mom will cut off your balls, huh?

MB: Damn straight.

MT: Do you have a favorite board game?

MB: This must be the part of the interview where you make fun of my name.

MT: Only because I forgot to ask about it earlier.

MB: Why does everybody make a big deal about my name? I was just traded from a team where there was a guy named Coco Crisp. Go give him shit.

MT: But he's not a Dodger.

MB: I don't even have the worst name on this team. There's a guy named Duaner Sanchez here. That's got to be the dirtiest name I've ever heard.

MT: Most hookers charge an extra $100 bucks for a Duaner Sanchez.

Bradley raises a suspicious eyebrow and moves further away.

MT: We all have to make a living, Milton. Not all of us can be gifted ballplayers like you.

MB: What do you mean by "ballplayer?" You are coming on to me.

MT: Sorry, poor choice of words. So, how are you and Paul LoDuca getting along?

MB: We're cool. I wish I could say the same about me and Wilson Alvarez. I think he keeps taking the Snickers bars from my locker.

MT: Here, you can have mine.

MB: Thanks. Now go to hell.

MT: Okay.

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