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After the 2003 season, Jim Tracy came up with this assessment of the Dodgers: "We didn't fail. We just didn't succeed as much as we'd have liked." And so began the collection of Dodger quotes. If you hear or read a good one, please submit it.

Gas is up and so am I.

- Manny Ramirez
Warning Dodger fans that he won't be back
10/23/08

I feel like a baby.

- Manny Ramirez
On his new haircut--down below
9/21/08

I'm Cal Ripken.

- Manny Ramirez
Feeling like a white guy
9/16/08

I didn't know what he was talking about. I thought he was talking about Manny Mota.

- Chan Ho Park
On Frank McCourt's impromptu announcement
about acquiring Manny Ramirez
7/31/08

My last win was with the Dodgers four years ago Mother's Day. Wins are like the Olympics for me, I guess.

- Brian Falkenborg
On his big day
7/6/08

We have to try to stay as consistent as we can... which I think we've done a pretty good job of lately.

- James Loney
On how the Dodgers have consistently not scored runs
6/16/08

Are they going to eat it [the All-You-Can-Eat Pavilion] every night? No, because they don't come every night. If they come twice a month or two times a month I think it's great.

- Steve Shiffman (VP Ticket Sales)
In need of a lesson on redundancy or redundancy
6/10/08

Would it help him more if he could play at a level he could handle better? Probably.

- Joe Torre
Channeling Jim Tracy while admitting that
Chin-lung Hu can't handle the major leagues
6/10/08

It's not a setback, it's just a set aside.

- Joe Torre
On Jason Schmidt's latest non-setback
6/8/08

My friends will let me know if they see something on a blog or on DodgerBlues. They're big fans of that. I think those guys are hilarious.

- Joe Beimel
Acting like he doesn't spend his nights in the Fan Forum
6/3/08

When your team scores one run, it's common sense that you have to hold the other team to no runs.

- Hiroki Kuroda
Reinforcing the stereotype that Asians are
good at math, and that the Dodger bullpen sucks
5/28/08

But the Dodgers score to tie it up and after four and a half the cubs lead 2-1.

- Charley Steiner
Drinking in the booth with Rick
5/27/08

I lost my power, I suck, I should retire.

- Andruw Jones
Finally hitting a home run
5/10/08

[Takashi Saito's] eyes were at half mast.

- Joe Torre
Describing his Japanese closer
5/10/08

You play for the team, you don't play for the fans.

- Andruw Jones
Really earning some points
5/10/08

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

- George Lopez
On Andruw Jones' weight
5/8/08

I feel fine, I want to pitch. I want to be out there and throwing.

- Esteban Loaiza
Right before being put on the DL
5/8/08

And Loney hits a high fly ball to deep right field, Hawpe goes to the ball and it is... caught... ... No, it's gone!

- Charley Steiner
Watching the game... No, picking his nose!
5/4/08

It's in a safe place. It's a memento, but I can't wear it because I'm too fat, my fingers got too fat.

- Mike Scioscia
On his 1988 World Series ring
4/22/08

With the long flight [after Tuesday night's game], we'll give him a blow and get back and hope he's OK tomorrow.

- Joe Torre
Clearly running out of ways to get Jones out of his slump
4/22/08

You can't hit without your hands.

- Nomar Garciaparra
Making a push to become the team's next batting coach
4/21/08

I'm an Internet god.

- Joe Beimel
After fans voted for a Beimel bobblehead
4/19/08

The chance to be a general manager in major-league baseball and for a franchise as storied as this one, probably as storied as the Giants, is great.

- Ned Colletti
Leaving me completely fucking speechless
4/14/08

We'll see when the season is over in September or August.

- Andruw Jones
Knowing the Dodgers will be eliminated earlier than ever
4/13/08

He [Nomar Garciaparra] could go 0-for-10 in rehab and it wouldn't mean anything.

- Joe Torre
Knowing that Nomar will go 0-for-20
when he returns to the Dodgers
4/13/08

I think it's weighing heavily on him.

- Ned Colletti
Not saying whether he's talking about Andruw Jones'
batting slump or his extra pounds
4/13/08

I'm not really concerned yet. When July comes and if I'm still struggling, that's when I'll be really worried.

- Andruw Jones
Apparently content with hitting .120 for the next two months
4/10/08

I just have to prove to myself, I don't have to prove to fans.

- Andruw Jones
On his goal of eating twelve hot dogs in an hour
4/10/08

We banged him and brought him in relief.

- Joe Torre
On his secret fantasy about Chad Billingsley
4/9/08

[Chin-lung Hu] did more push ups in a minute than I have done in my entire life.

- Charley Steiner
Shocking the radio audience
4/4/08

To me right now, I want the ability to mess around with the two-hole.

- Joe Torre
On what he does in the privacy of his office
4/2/08

The people in New York have no idea what they're doing.

- Larry Bowa
Using the word 'people' but desperately wanting to
say 'the cocksuckers who run Major League Baseball'
4/2/08

You’ve got guys who tested positive for steroids and admitted they took them—no suspensions. They’re still playing.

- Larry Bowa
On his 3-day suspension for being out of the coaching box
4/2/08

We are higher that the Grand Canyon.

- Charley Steiner
Finally explaining his and RIck Monday's job performance
3/30/08

Not that managing in the American League is easy, but this is certainly different. I'll have to have somebody poke me in the rear end when I have a pitcher that's going to hit.

- Joe Torre
Revealing why Don Mattingly resigned
3/23/08

Until the day I die, I will be pulling for Ned Colletti.

- Grady Little
Clearly close to death
3/16/08

Instead of babying it, we're going to push it.

- Jason Schmidt
On the dildo he's sticking up Colletti's ass
3/6/08

It's time to win.

- Frank McCourt
Getting fans pumped up
3/6/08

I'm coming into this season with a chip on my shoulder...just like every season.

- Juan Pierre
On the REAL reason he can't throw
3/6/08

I think we'll be playing a lot of low-scoring games this year. We're going to have to rely on one or two runs being enough.

- Joe Torre
Already conceding defeat
3/1/08

It was a lot looser last year. I don't want to say it's strict now because it's not.

- Rudy Seanez
Beginning to go senile
2/26/08

I just left my family that I've been with for four months and I probably won't see them for three weeks, so today's not such a great day.

- Jeff Kent
Already in mid-season form
2/21/08

He said something about my hair but didn't tell me what to do.

- Joe Beimel
On Joe Torre's "no girly boys" rule
2/17/08

He's not a guy who says hello.

- Matt Kemp
On why Jeff Kent is so loved
2/17/08

I thought Schmidt was really easy on the eyes.

- Joe Torre
On the sexiness of a 55-mph fastball
2/17/08

I know there are more bodies than positions. I had a conversation with Juan. He was curious.

- Joe Torre
Potentially finding a new role for Pierre
1/30/08

Elisabeth Shue has a locker right next to me. I'm really excited.

- Mike Lieberthal
Hoping his wife doesn't read MLB.com
1/26/08

I told him one position he'll probably play more of is third base, but I also said with his ability to play other positions, he can be really valuable in a lot of ways. He understood what I was saying.

- Joe Torre
Basically saying that Nomar will be sitting on his ass
1/18/08

It's all about makeup.

- Joe Torre
On how he looks so pretty
1/18/08

I'm pretty sure that China is way bigger than the Dominican.

- Matt Kemp
Who then went on to describe how an
egg is smoother than a hairbrush
1/17/08

It was a complicated surgery and the rehab is just as complicated. We're happy where he's at.

- Stan Conte
On how Jason Schmidt's surgery and rehab were/are
both complicated, that he might not be able to make
Opening Day, and he doesn't even know when he might
be able to pitch... and how its a good thing
1/16/08

It's not general manager Ned Colletti's style to sign contract extensions that limit flexibility and put the club at unnecessary risk in the event of an injury.

- Ken Gurnick
Proving you don't need to actually know anything
about a team to be a beat reporter for MLB.com
1/9/08